The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

El Superbeasto:
Holy monkey! That wasn't in the script!

Velvet Von Black:
I think I left a nickel onstage. Consider it my donation to the Sad-Ass Ho Club.

Stripper in Hall:
Ay! What did she say?

Velvet Von Black:
I said "sad ho," you sad-ass deaf ho.

Velvet Von Black:
Hello, will somebody get a monkey off a b*tch?

Velvet Von Black:
Draping my ass over your hairy-ass f***ing shoulders like I was a mink-ass stole and sh*t.

Otto:
Mink stole? More like a stanky mole.

Velvet Von Black:
Motherf***er! If you want to scratch this here, you better watch your ass mouth!

Velvet Von Black:
Where the f*** are we going now? What kind of "Fright Night" bullshit is this?

Otto:
Oh, please refrain from speaking. I know you must be proud of your beauty-school education, but your constant abuse of profanity is an assault on my Wellingtonian sensibilities.

Velvet Von Black:
I ain't the one with a dingleberry hanging off my ass hairs, nasty ape and sh*t.

Otto:
Yes, well I'm not so sure about that.

[Velvet farts in the elevator]

Otto:
Oh. Speaking of gas prices. Ew!

Velvet Von Black:
Sh*t. Even my ass is bored. Don't think I'm apologizing, neither. You know that sh*t smells good.

Otto:
Oh, delicious, the plowman's lunch.

El Superbeasto:
You picked the wrong guy on the wrong night. I just lost another goddamn pilot to that punk from "Malcolm in the Middle"!

Suzi X:
Wake up, Beasto! You're earth's only hope!

El Superbeasto:
Caramels are chewy.

Dr. Satan:
Now my dream has come true! Steve Wachowski, vice-president of the chess club, and Suzi X, homecoming queen together at last!

Suzi X:
Hey, loosen up, man. You're crushing my titties!

Commandant Hess:
Oh, what a big breath mint.

Velvet Von Black:
Hey, monkey, where's your organ grinder?

Otto:
I find that very hurtful.

Velvet Von Black:
You know what else is hurtful? Your thumb all up in my ass.

Otto:
My thumb is not in your ass.

Velvet Von Black:
Well, why not?

Varla:
You think I wanna talk to you, squirrel?

Otis Driftwood:
I ain't here to talk, I'm here for the All American Ass Party.

Varla:
Why don't you make yourself useful and go get me some Beer Nuts?

Otis Driftwood:
[Grabs crotch] I got your nuts right here. Why don't you give 'em a - [Door gets slammed on both of the characters]