The Holiday

Iris:
I like corny. I'm looking for corny in my life.

Iris:
You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!

Iris:
Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time he does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and suprises you, he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that he's not for you.

Iris:
It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Amanda:
I need some peace and quiet...or whatever it is people go away for.

Amanda:
You know Graham, I just broke up with someone and considering you just showed up and you're insanely good-looking and probably won't remember me anyway...I'm thinking we should have sex...If you want.

Graham:
I have a cow and I sew. How's that for "hard to relate to'?"

Graham:
I have the classic male problem of no follow through. Absolutely never remember to call after a date-but as this wasn't a date, I guess I am off the hook.

Graham:
Long distance relationships can work, you know.

Graham:
I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: three for the price of one. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.

Graham:
Is that a trick question?

Miles:
It's Christmas Eve and we are going to celebrate being young and being alive.

Miles:
The wind...It's what makes it so warm at this time of the year. Legend has it, when Santa Anas blow, all bets are off, anything can happen.

Miles:
[plays melody he wrote for Iris] Iris, if you were a melody...I used only the good notes.

Arthur:
I like this Hugo Boss, he cuts a nice suit!

Arthur:
Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are the leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.

Graham:
And what did you say?

Iris:
I asked her to hold. Can I call you back?

Graham:
I can hold while you speak to her.

Iris:
Really?

Graham:
Find out how she is.

Iris:
Okay. (switches call) My brother wants to know how you are.

Amanda:
Can you tell him I'm good and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village. Um, what's he been up to? Did he say?

Iris:
I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask him?

Amanda:
Uh, sure.

Iris:
Okay. Hold please. (switches back) I can't believe that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house!

Amanda:
He told you that?!

Iris:
Oh my God! I thought I was talking to Graham! Can you just hold, please? I'm terribly sorry. (switches again) I can't believe you had sex with Amanda! The one thing she asked me was, 'Are there any men in your town?', and I assured her that there were not. And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!

Amanda:
Still me!

Iris:
Bollocks! I must have lost him. Amanda, I am so sorry.

Graham:
Bad?

Amanda:
Weird. Kissing a total stranger.

Graham:
Really? I do it all the time.

Iris:
But I think what I've got is something slightly resembling, gumption.[Slams door shut in Jasper's face. Lifts hands up and screams with joy]

Iris:
That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

Iris:
I could go with you as like your date or something [to Arthur].

Amanda:
And that is why they pay me the big bucks.

Graham:
I'm Mr. Napkin Head!

Arthur:
So, he's a schmuck.

Arthur:
Let's get this embarrassment over with.

Arthur:
This was some Meet-Cute!

Iris:
[first lines] I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

Iris:
That would be confusing.

Miles:
[about the Jaws theme] Two notes... and you've got a villain.

Arthur:
[as Iris drives him home] I've lived here for 47 years. Back then, there were only six houses on this block. Every year, they tear another one down. Not that I blame them. They weren't that great to begin with. But that's how I got confused. I didn't recognize one house.