The Inbetweeners Movie

[from trailer]

Jay Cartwright:
You better bring your wellies, because you'll be knee-deep in clunge.

[from trailer]

Carli D'Amato:
Simon we need to talk.

Simon Cooper:
Oh no not talking.

Carli D'Amato:
I think we should break up.

[from trailer]

Will McKenzie:
First stop the Minoan palace in Knossos.

Jay Cartwright:
We haven't come half way round the world to look at some f***ing Greek ruins.

Neil Sutherland:
Yeah you can see that sh*t anywhere.

[from trailer]

Will McKenzie:
Jay slept in an Ant's nest.

Jay Cartwright:
Oh... The pain.

[from trailer]

Will McKenzie:
I've lost my glasses!

Jay Cartwright:
This girl's so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny.

Will McKenzie:
So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world's shittest boyband, we hit the town.

James:
You better watch you don't fall overboard.

Jane:
Or what? I'll get harpooned because someone will mistake me for a whale? Someone will think they've discovered a new island? All the water will splash over onto the boat? I've heard them all. Take your pick.

Middle-Aged Woman:
[a woman who is at least in her fifties leaves the group's hotel after sleeping with Neil]

Middle-Aged Woman:
Don't worry lads, kitty won't bite. Not now she's been fed.

Jay Cartwright:
Why go for hamburgers, when you have steak at home?

Neil Sutherland:
I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog spelt backwards.

Will McKenzie:
I like football, but I don't like Burnley. Burnley can f*ck off.

Jay Cartwright:
Don't you know about foreign police? They take you up a hill, beat you up and then they bum you!

Neil Sutherland:
Yeah. and if they don't kill you, you kill yourself because of the shame of you getting a boner whilst you was being bummed!

Mr. Gilbert:
This isn't The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on bbc2 keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty f***er. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.

Simon Cooper:
She's also really funny.

Lucy:
In what way?

Simon Cooper:
Well, you know when something's funny, and people get it?

Lucy:
Yes...

Simon Cooper:
So in that way. And also in a comedy way.

Will McKenzie:
That's it! Neil, you're right. It may not be paradise, but it's time we started enjoying this place for what it is.

Simon Cooper:
A shithole?

Will McKenzie:
Yes, but it's our shithole! So I say, we get out there, and get royally f***ed up on Jay's dead grandad's money!

Will:
"First stop the Minoan palace in Knossos."

Jay:
"We haven't come half way round the world to look at some f***ing Greek ruins."

Neil:
"Yeah you can see that sh** anywhere