The Invisible Woman

Prof. Gibbs:
[to a car] Put yourself into the garage, lazy bones!

[last lines]

Prof. Gibbs:
Hereditary.

Richard Russell:
Call the airport. We're leaving.

George:
Oh, airport!

Richard Russell:
No, on the phone.

[Foghorn, now a falsetto, is at the door]

Richard Russell:
Who is it?

George:
I don't know, sir, but it sounds like Jenny Lind.

[George throws the contents of a goldfish bowl over Richard]

Richard Russell:
George, did you have to throw the fish?

George:
It's Friday, sir.

Prof. Gibbs:
If more women were invisible, life would be much less complicated.

Richard Russell:
And much less interesting.

Kitty Carroll:
[to Prof. Gibbs] I've got to be visible.

Richard Russell:
[to Prof. Gibbs] Think of my suspense.

George:
Invisible women! These days you can't believe your own eyes, even if you don't see anything.

George:
Looking at a woman is only the first step to trouble. You look, she smiles. You soften, she sues.

Richard Russell:
Well, now where are you?

Kitty Carroll:
At the end of the cigarette.

Kitty Carroll:
It so happens that by profession I'm a model.

Richard Russell:
What for, piano legs?

Kitty Carroll:
Any time you have a piano with legs like mine, sonny, run, do not walk, to your nearest music store.

Richard Russell:
Any girl that'd become invisible can't be very easy on the eyes.

Prof. Gibbs:
[pointing to stuffed head] Did you shoot that elk?

George:
No, I think it was born there.

Kitty Carroll:
Whew! Kinda chilly. I wonder how the nudists stand it.

Blackie:
What is all this "s? s?"? Are you Spanish?

O'Klotz:
I'm a Pomeranian!

Prof. Gibbs:
You are the nicest visible I have ever met.

Foghorn:
Put that away. Scientists don't carry tommy guns.

Bill:
Say, maybe we should have brought a butterfly net, huh?

Richard Russell:
Stop breathing down my neck.

George:
It's the breath of pleasure, sir. And perhaps a touch of garlic.

[first lines]

Attorney:
Where is he? Where is he? Get up! Get up!

George:
I am up. I was up. And I've been up all night. I would have stayed up if you hadn't knocked me down.

Kitty Carroll:
Well at least the stockings are dry. [Richard Russell looks at Kitty Carroll putting on the stockings] Now to find my feet. [starts putting on the stocking] This is worst than dressing in the dark. [pulls up the stocking over her left invisible leg] There, now we'll see who's stalling!

Prof. Gibbs:
So you see the entire principle is a combination of chemical, biological, and dynamic influences

Blackie:
Cut out the stalling! For an hour you've been using big words!

Kitty Carroll:
Yes Professor, for the love of Mike cut out the stalling. I want to go home.

Blackie:
You'll both go home on a slab if this guy don't come through. I want to be invisible!

Prof. Gibbs:
I don't blame you. It would be a decided improvement.

Foghorn:
Stick 'em up!

Want-Ad Clerk:
Aw, go on home to your mother.

Kitty Carroll:
And don't come back or I'll cut you dead.

Bill:
Come on lady, be a gentleman about this!