The Jackie Gleason Show

Ralph Kramden:
[visiting in Ireland] You know, I never knew that Jackie Gleason was Irish.

Ed Norton:
Oh yeah, I knew it. I read it in a TV magazine once. His whole family came over from Ireland during the potato famine.

Ralph Kramden:
Oh.

Ed Norton:
In fact, I think they caused it!

Ralph Kramden:
That Gleason is a little chubby, isn't he?

Ed Norton:
Oh, he certainly is. [laughs]

Ralph Kramden:
That Art Carney put on a few pounds too, you know.

Ralph Kramden:
[rehearsing a TV commercial in England] And I say, "Oh, it is my good wife, Lady Penelope Farthingay, Duchess of Rathbone. Blimey, you look lovely."

Alice Kramden:
"Blimey"?

Ralph Kramden:
That's right, "blimey". That's the way all of those high-falutin' English talk. They use words like "blimey", "tally-ho", "yoicks"...

Alice Kramden:
If you ask me, we're the "yoicks" for doing this.

Milton Berle:
[during a 1969 curtain call] You look fantastic.

Jackie Gleason:
Let me tell you what happened. I dropped 60 pounds.

Milton Berle:
On whom?

Jackie Gleason:
[at the end of each show] The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world!