The Jetsons

Astro:
Who'll Rotect me?

George Jetson:
[after Astro has jumped on him] Who'll protect you? The SPCA, that's who.

Cogswell:
There's only one thing worse than war and that is business, and Spacely has declared business on us.

Mr. Spacely:
No hurry, any time in the next 5 minutes is fine.

Mrs. Spacely:
Traffic is thicker than a cloud of meteors today.

George:
We wouldn't last on unemployment checks, a 1000 a week doesn't strech very far these days.

Judy Jetson:
Promise you won't tell?

Rosie:
I swear on my mother's rechargable batteries.

[Elroy had broken one of Jane's favorite vases. George is "congratulating her on not getting mad immediately]

George Jetson:
And because you kept cool, you warmed his heart.

Jane Jetson:
I'd prefer to warm his bottom.

George Jetson:
Jane. Stop this crazy thing.

Mr. Spacely:
JETSON. YOU'RE FIRED.

Judy Jetson:
I'm in love.

Rosie:
Again?

Co-Worker:
Did you hear Mr. Spacely's latest plan?

George Jetson:
Yeah, the slave driver. Imagine putting your back on a four day week. What does he think this is? The 20th century?

Mr. Spacely:
Jetson! Thank goodness you're still here! I've got some good news and some bad news...

George Jetson:
What's the bad news, Mr. Spacely?

Mr. Spacely:
We've discovered a very dangerous computer virus that you have to stop right away!

George Jetson:
But that could take months! By the way... what's the good news?

Mr. Spacely:
The good news is I don't have to do it! Bye now!

Astro:
wra wro wrorge!... [Astro puts his paw on George;s shouldter] .

[George gets stuck in rush hour traffic on his way home from work]

George Jetson:
Well, here we go again. Another night, another traffic jam. Boy, this spaceway traffic gets worse every night. Hey, looks like an opening up ahead.

[he finds the opening and takes it, only to get stuck in more traffic]

George Jetson:
There's another one.

[he tries to take that one, only to find someone else has taken it first. He crashes with it]

George Jetson:
Space hog! I better cut around and try and slide in.

[he does just that]

George Jetson:
Sunday astronaut!

[he then looks forward with a start]

George Jetson:
Yikes!

[he crashes through a sign advertising for Cosmic Cola]

Traffic Cop:
Hey, you! What do you think this is, the Indianapolis 500,000?

[he gets George to pull over]

Mr. Spacely:
Be it ever so dirty, there's nothing like money.

George:
If you need me, I'll either be at work or the poor house.

George:
That Spacely is worse than Scrooge. I wish some Christmas ghosts would visit him, though he'd probably scare them off.

Teenage Mr. Spacely:
Okay, you win, Starla, I'll take half a day off on our wedding day.

Mr. Spacely:
See? I can be flexible.

Starla:
Sometimes I think you like money more than me.

Teenage Mr. Spacely:
Yeah, but I like you more than I like spaceball.

R.U.D.I:
Hey George, did you hear about the cat that crawled across the desert on Christmas?

George:
Yeah, he got sandy claws. You better update your memory, R.U.D.I, the last time I heard that one I rolled over and fell out of my crib.

George:
Merry Christmas, sir.

Mr. Spacely:
Don't call me merry! I have an image to maintain!

Jane Jetson:
George will be so happy when he hears how much Astro liked his new toy.

Astro:
I'm gonna tear that toy cat apart!

George:
[Astro is deathly ill] Are you sure he's not fakin'?

Judy Jetson:
Oh dear, by the time I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Marsley:
I'm here to tell you to change your ways or there will be a price to pay.

Mr. Spacely:
So how much would it be? I'll pay it.

George:
That's your Christmas list? It looks more like the Martian phone book.

Mr. Spacely:
Look, I'm a businessman, not a fairy dog-father.

Elroy Jetson:
That's all right, Mom, I can live without it. But not happily.

Elroy Jetson:
We can make money the old-fashioned way: we can borrow it.

Mr. Spacely:
Are you out of your orbit?

R.U.D.I.:
I can't stand humans cry it makes my diodes all gooey.

Judy Jetson:
Daddy, if you dance like that in front of my friends I have to go live in another galaxy. Oh daddy, your dancing went out with pop-up fuels it is practically 20th century.

George Jetson:
[Astro jumps on George and licks him] Astro. If I wanted a bath I'd take a shower.

George Jetson:
I feel lower than a Martian midget.

Elroy Jetson:
Just wait until I play this for my pop. He'll never get over it.

George Jetson:
I'll never get over it! Four D's, and an F, and an H?

Jane Jetson:
Our son has run away!

George Jetson:
Don't worry, honey, he won't get far. Where can a kid like him go?

Jane Jetson:
No place. Just to the moon, Venus, Jupiter, Mars, Saturn...

George Jetson:
[blubbering] That's enough! That's enough! That's enough!

Microbe:
Help! I'm stuck. I am too big for this ventillator!

Mugsy Megatron:
The bird brain. I told him not to eat them pizza pills before a job.

Elroy:
What about Mugsy Megatron? He sure sounds rough.

Astro:
Ron't worry, Relroy.

Elroy:
Don't worry? What would you do if you saw him?

Astro:
Run for relp.

Elroy:
Run for help. Great.

Elroy Jetson:
How much will I get for my part?

Mugsy Megatron:
Oh about 5 to 10 years if we're caught.

Mugsy Megatron:
Ten thousand unemployed gorillas and I gotta pick a giggler.

Mugsy Megatron:
[Pretending to be a director filming a heist TV show] It's called the, um, The Unspaceables.

Elroy:
The Unspaceables? I love that show. Lot's of action, and cops and robbers.

Mugsy Megatron:
Er, no cops in this one. Only robbers.

Jane Jetson:
And remember, Elroy, no stopping at the space burger satellite on your way to school.

Elroy:
Ah gee, Mom. How about on the way home?

Jane Jetson:
Now, now, not another word. Come on, come on, it's off to school for you.

Elroy:
Bye Mom, see you in orbit.

Elroy:
What are you watching?

Kenny Countdown:
It's the billionth rerun of The Flintstones.

[Fred says he famous catchphrase before diving into a pool ontop of Barney]

Kenny Countdown:
"Yabba Dabba Doo" Ha ha ha ha.

Jane Jetson:
Your brother is going to be "Spaceboy, zoom!" What do you think of that?

Judy Jetson:
Eeeeyuck!

Jane Jetson:
Judy.

Judy Jetson:
Gosh, Mom, it's bad enough having a kid brother around the house without having one on television.

Jane Jetson:
Well, young lady, with your brother as a television star, he could put you on the show for a guest spot.

Judy Jetson:
Hey, I never thought of that. Oh Elroy!

Jane Jetson:
Oh dear.

Elroy:
[Judy enters Elroy's room] Hi.

Judy Jetson:
Can I help you?

Elroy:
No. Girls don't know nothing about scooters.

Judy Jetson:
Aw, you're the best brother a girl ever had. I'd do anything for you, Elroy. Anything at all. Would you do something for me?

Elroy:
No, you're not gonna be on my TV show.

Judy Jetson:
Ooh! Kid brothers!

George Jetson:
[Mr. Spacely is being beat up by a movie robot] Mr. Spacely, you'd better quit. It's too rough on you.

Mr. Spacely:
What? And give up show biz? Never!

Jane Jetson:
Goodbye.

Elroy:
Goodbye.

Judy Jetson:
[angrily] Goodbye!

Jane Jetson:
Why Judy, I do believe you're jealous of your brother.

Judy Jetson:
Jealous? Ha, me? Jealous of Elroy? Ha ha ha ha. Just because he's on TV.

[laughs]

Judy Jetson:
That's a hot one! Jealous? Yes, I'm jealous. I'm only the big sister of "Spaceboy, zoom".

Jane Jetson:
[laughs]

Judy Jetson:
Hey nice clothes, Elroy. Designer diapers.

Henry Orbit:
The Space Guard is known for rapid promotions.

George Jetson:
That's right. I've been here two hours. I'm overdue.

George Jetson:
[Telling a scary story to Elroy, Astro, and Orbity] As the group huddled nervously around the campfire they again heard the snapping of a twig as if someone or something were approaching step by stealthy step nearer [a wolf howls] step by step he seemed to getting closer and suddenly the bushes parted and there he was, his face a horrible distorted face, a decaying cadaverous green mask [makes a ghoulish face] his mouth partly open [streches his mouth really wide] his fang like teeth ready to strike [lunges at Orbity with a monsterous fanged face] the creeper moved slowly, slowly toward our hero and laughed [lets out an evil laugh] now I have you right where I want you! Ha ha ha ha ha! [Orbity hides under a pillow]

Elroy Jetson:
And then the hero pulled out a hand full of garlic and destroyed the evil creeper [pulls out garlic]

George Jetson:
No not garlic! [grabs his throat and falls to the floor]

Elroy Jetson:
[laughs] Tell us another one dad

Jane Jetson:
George Jetson honestly do you want to give these kids nightmares?

Elroy Jetson:
Yeah mom let him!

George Jetson:
Come on honey it's almost Halloween!

Jane Jetson:
If they come running into our bed they're sleeping on your side!

Elroy Jetson:
I love those creeper stories mom and Orbity's never heard them before and he loves them too, right Orbity? [Orbity hides under the pillow shivering with fright]

George Jetson:
Janey I heard lots of Halloween stories as a kid and it hasn't affected me, affected me, affected me [hunches his back over and gives a wicked grin] give us a kiss sweetie!

Jane Jetson:
Knock it off Igor or you sleep on the couch tonight!

George Jetson:
[in a Dracula like voice] Ooh I love the couch reminds me of my coffin back home [laughs]

George:
If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

[the doorbell rings]

Jane Jetson:
Who could that be?

Judy Jetson:
Probably one of our invisible Moongolian neighbors.

George Jetson:
That makes it kinda hard to look'em in the eye.

George:
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

[Later]

George:
Ha, "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do". I should've won three space Oscar awards.

George Jetson:
Well now, "Football coach predicts victory at tonight's game". I wonder what he's got to say.

Coach:
We'll moider dem.

Judy Jetson:
Elroy, why are you playing with your junk in the dining room?

George Jetson:
What a doll. She's got everything. Too bad all girls aren't like her, oh well, somebody's got to be in the PTA.

Mr. Spacely:
[referring to his destroyed car, on the phone] All of it? OF COURSE I WANT ALL OF IT!

[under his breath]

Mr. Spacely:
Dumb mechanic!

Lawyer:
Let's sue him for stupidity!

George:
You're kidding.

Elroy:
Nope.

George:
Then lie to me and say you're kidding.

George Jetson:
Nobody could dial a breakfast like mother.

George Jetson:
Everything, EVERYTHING you bought goes back to the store.

Jane Jetson:
But George, you said our ship has come in.

George Jetson:
It sunk.

George Jetson:
We've got to think about our old age.

Elroy:
What if we don't reach an old age?

Judy Jetson:
Then we're stuck with all that money.

George Jetson:
Honey, you asked me for $20 yesterday, now what did you do with that?

Jane Jetson:
You didn't give it to me.

George Jetson:
Excuses, excuses, that's all I hear.

Mr. Spacely:
Cogswell has the same jacket.

Professor Lunar:
Impossible. Why I've spent every minute of the last 58 years of my life on this invention.

Mr. Spacely:
Well take a look.

Professor Lunar:
Oh well. Easy come, easy go.

George Jetson:
Jane, this morning you wanted to buy some silverware. Here

[hands her a wad of cash]

George Jetson:
Get it in gold.

Jane Jetson:
Gold silverware?

George Jetson:
Judy, you wanted some stereo-phonic tapes,

[Hands her a wad of cash]

George Jetson:
go get yourself a band. Now what can I do for you, son?

Elroy Jetson:
If I had known you were filling requests, I'd have brought a list.

George Jetson:
You wanted a toy space fire engine.

[Hands him a wad of cash]

George Jetson:
Get yourself a real fire engine.

[Hands him more cash]

George Jetson:
might as well get yourself a fire too

Astro:
What about re?

George Jetson:
Of course, Astro, you wanted a bone.

[Hands him a wad of cash]

George Jetson:
Buy yourself a meat market.

George Jetson:
The real George Jetson finally stood up.

Mr. Spacely:
Well, would the real George Jetson care to sit down?

George Jetson:
Ol?! Ol?! Oy vey!

George Jetson:
[after getting squashed in the life jacket]

[nasally]

George Jetson:
That must have been the vertical. Here comes the horizon-hal!

George Jetson:
I'm going to Cogswell Cogs to see about a job.

Mr. Spacely:
You mean you'd work for Cogswell after all this? You'd forget your dignity and go crawling to him for a job? You'd do THAT for a few miserly dollars a week?

George Jetson:
Uh-huh.

Mr. Spacely:
Wait for me, Jetson, I'll go with you.

George Jetson:
You're going to broadcast pictures of my insides?

Dr. Radius:
That's right. The Peek-A-Boo capsule will send back on-the-spot reports of everything.

George Jetson:
You ought to play some background music like, "Liver Come Back to Me", or maybe, "I Get A Kidney Out of You"? How about, "Lung Ago And Far Away"?

Dr. Radius:
Open your mouth, please. That should be easy for you.

Reporter:
Mr. Jetson, I guess you're quite concerned about these tests.

George Jetson:
Well, I...

Mr. Spacely:
- I certainly am. Sure hope nothing happens to that life jacket.

Reporter:
Oh um, Mr. Spacely, your every thought must be with the courageous man who's risking his life for you.

Mr. Spacely:
Huh? Who's that?

Reporter:
Your test pilot, Mr. Jetson.

Mr. Spacely:
Oh him, yeah, I sure am worried about him. He's wearing MY life jacket.

Mr. Spacely:
You can't tempt Jetson with money, can he?

George Jetson:
Yep.

Mr. Spacely:
Keep this up, Partner, and you'll have money to burn.

George Jetson:
[Thinks he's dying] I was kinda hoping to go in the other direction.

George Jetson:
What are you worried about? It's my life.

Mr. Spacely:
Yeah well it's MY life jacket.

George Jetson:
Alright, let'er rip!

Mr. Spacely:
Don't say that!

Mr. Spacely:
[the life jacket, once put in the wash, is destroyed] It was hit by lightning. Missiles. It was indestructable!

George Jetson:
But it isn't washable. We should've put a label on it, "Dry clean only".

Cogswell:
It's not what you think, Spacely. I didn't hear one word of your outrageous offer to Jetson.

George Jetson:
Well, here we are, Men.

Anode:
Yeah, Big Buddy, but where are we?

George Jetson:
Well, according to the map, we're right about here: on the rim of that crater.

Anode:
That's not a crater, Mr. Jetson. That's your thumb print.

Jane Jetson:
And where is my husband?

Moon Ranger:
He's at the station, Ma'am, paying some fines.

Jane Jetson:
Fines?

Moon Ranger:
Yes. For littering, destroying park property, and getting lost without a license.

George Jetson:
Ready, R.U.D.I?

R.U.D.I.:
R.U.D.I's ready.

George Jetson:
Alright, what are my chances of getting a two week vacation this year?

[R.U.D.I processes, then prints out a card]

George Jetson:
"Your weight is 168 pounds". I don't get it, what's my weight got to do with getting a vacation?

R.U.D.I.:
Fat chance.

George Jetson:
Ah, what do you know, you big junk pile!

[Kicks R.U.D.I then hops around, holding his foot in pain]

George Jetson:
Now don't get too close to the edge of this crater. Look out, Orbit. That rock you're standing on is loose, Orbit. Orbit!

[the rock gives way]

George Jetson:
Oh no. Now why didn't Orbit pay attention?

Elroy:
Because that was Anode.

George Jetson:
Oh. Sorry, Anode!

George:
Yum, it's been lightyears since you programmed synthetic brownies.

Auto-Sorter:
I hope I got that right. Oh well, I'm only inhuman.

Dr. Lunarby:
Impossible, Professor, there are too many of them to contain!

George Jetson:
Not when you have a roomy new Spacion Wagon.

Judy Jetson:
Where's my notebook? Elroy, are you hiding it?

Elroy Jetson:
Get off my back, will ya? What would I do with your notebook? Fail?

Elroy Jetson:
[their plant just died] Maybe it left a will.

Judy Jetson:
Elroy!

Jane:
Our home food dispenser broke and I had to wait 20 seconds at the check out counter, such inefficiency.

George Jetson:
I'll just tell Mr. Spacely I'm very sorry and that I'll never call him names again.

[Nearly has a head-on collision with another car]

George Jetson:
Why you big strata-jerk. It's vacuum-heads like you who keep fuselage and fender shops in business. Come on out and face the music.

Mr. Spacely:
[Emerges from the other car] 'Morning, Jetson. Nice day isn't it?

George Jetson:
M-M-M-Mr. Spacely, I presume?

Mr. Spacely:
Correct. I hope you're wearing your watch, Jetson, BECAUSE YOU HAVE EXACTLY 5 MINUTES TO CLEAN OUT YOUR DESK.

Jane Jetson:
Elroy, why aren't you ready for school?

Elroy Jetson:
I don't feel good, Mom. I think... I think I'm coming down with Venus Virus.

Jane Jetson:
Venus Virus, eh? Last week you said it was Martian Mumps. Anything to get out of taking that space calculus test.

George Jetson:
I'm a big coward.

Henry Orbit:
Now, now, Mr. Coward. Er, I mean Mr. Jetson, there's lot's of other work around. Why I got a third cousin who's making out real well on Mars.

George Jetson:
I don't think I could take Mars, Henry. I hear those little green bosses are murder.

George Jetson:
I hope you get ulcers in your cyclotron.

George Jetson:
I've got a wife, two kids and 10 finance companies to support. How am I supposed to pay my bills?