The Last Hungry Cat

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Are you nervous, pussycat?

Sylvester:
Yep.

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Why don't you try reading? That always helps.

Sylvester:
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea, and besides, reading is good for you.

[picks a book from the shelf, sits down and reads it]

Sylvester:
Once upon a time there lived three birds - a mama bird, a papa bird, and a cute little... blue eyed... baby bird.

[drops the book and screams]

[last lines]

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
In the words of the Bard: "Conscience makes cowards of us all".

Sylvester:
[offscreen] Ah, shut up!

[hits the narrator in the head, forming a lump which remains in the silhouette as he walks away]

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Good evening.

[first lines]

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a story about murder.

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
[to Sylvester] Well, you did it, didn't you, cat?

Sylvester:
[panting] Yeah, yeah...

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
You got rid of that helpless little blue-eyed menace to society, didn't you?

Sylvester:
[chuckling] Yeah. Yeah.

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Sardines and milk wouldn't have done it. You had to commit murder.

Sylvester:
[shocked] *Murder*?

[laughing]

Sylvester:
That's silly! Ridiculous! Murder...

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Of course, there's a good chance they'll never find out who committed this horrible crime.

[Sylvester notices newspapers headlining the police hunt for a criminal called "The Cat"]

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
Well, you got away from the law, didn't you?

[Sylvester nods]

Hitchcock-type Narrator:
I bet you wish you could get away from your conscience that easily.

Sylvester:
Ah, conscience, shmonshience! That bird doesn't even enter my mind.

[turns on the radio]

Radio Announcer:
And now your local company will present gas chamber music for - I, I, I, I mean your local gas company will present chamber music for your enjoyment.

[Sylvester perks up and switches off the radio]