The Legend of Billie Jean

Binx:
Hey, get your hand off that!

Hubie:
What, your sister? Or your fagmobile?

Ophelia:
Would you look at those tits?

Putter:
I think they're gross.

Ophelia:
That's because you don't have any.

Pyatt:
Hubie and the truth have a way of not gettin' along with each other.

Putter:
If you don't let me out I'm throwin' up all over the front seat!

Binx:
What's this?

Putter:
I think it's chicken.

Binx:
It doesn't taste like chicken.

Ophelia:
When you rich, food ain't supposed to taste like what it really is.

Billie Jean:
Who wants to watch this?

Putter:
I do!

Ophelia:
You like anything on the TV.

Lloyd:
Tapes are not going to be enough.

Billie Jean:
What do you mean?

Lloyd:
I mean they don't have to give you the money, they'll just hunt you down and catch you. Cops don't have to bargain with you, you don't have anything they want. Unless you offer them a trade. [starts tying himself up]

Ophelia:
Whatever is that boy doing?

Putter:
It's a trick, I saw it on TV.

Billie Jean:
What kind of trade?

Lloyd:
I'm going to be your hostage, then they have to reason with you. I'm your guarantee.

Putter:
Like when you buy a car.

Ophelia:
That's a warranty.

Muldaur:
[teenagers are filling the beach waiting for Billie Jean] Should have cordoned off the beach.

Ringwald:
They would've come in on surfboards.

Ringwald:
[to Muldaur] I'm a policeman, you're a politician, and you're not running for office here!

Donna Davy:
I don't have any idea what she wants to say. She can recite the Gettysburg Address for all I care.

Putter:
Is that a boy or a girl?

Lloyd:
Girl, Joan of Arc. She dressed up as a man and led the French in fighting the English. She heard voices, 'stop being a peasant', 'France needs you', 'the truth needs you'. And she won, she beat the English, but then...

Putter:
Then what?

Lloyd:
The French, burnt her, alive!

Kid #1:
[Billie Jean and Putter find 3 kids staring at them] You Billie Jean?

Putter:
You got it, bud.

Kid #2:
Somebody's just got to help Kenny, he's in a lot of trouble.

Putter:
Far out, I'm coming!

Billie Jean:
This is serious, Putter!

Putter:
I can be serious, Billie Jean, please I can't stay here without you, I'll just die!

Billie Jean:
Go away, Putter!

Putter:
[to Ophelia] Billie Jean said I can come, don't move!

Binx:
[about Lloyd's pills] What are those, uppers or downers?

Lloyd:
They're for asthma, you want one?

Ophelia:
You're supposed to be taking your medication! Your father says please give him his pills!

Lloyd:
I haven't had a pill since we left the house, haven't wheezed once.

Ophelia:
[Billie Jean steps out with her hair cut] Oh my God! Billie Jean, you look...

Binx:
Famous!

Lloyd:
Saint Joan.

Boy:
Did you rob that liquor store in Galveston?

Binx:
Yep, that was us.

Billie Jean:
We did not.

Guy:
What about that school in Laredo? You burn it down?

Binx:
No way, guy. We don't do schools.

Billie Jean:
Everything's just crazy now.

Lloyd:
Sure it is. That's why you gotta be crazier than they are.

Billie Jean:
You ever been to Vermont?

Lloyd:
Sure, on ski trips.

Billie Jean:
Maybe we should go there tonight, all of us, hitchhike.

Lloyd:
You can't do that, not now, everybody knows you, they want to see you get the money.

Billie Jean:
They want to see us dead, remember Joan of Arc?

Billie Jean:
The bill is for the scooter, and this... is for Binx. [knees Hubie in the crotch, Hubie falls to the floor]

Hubie:
[groaning] You crazy b*tch!

Binx:
Let's go to Vermont.

Ophelia:
We don't have enough gas to get out of Corpus.

Binx:
Then we'll steal it, we're outlaws, right?

Billie Jean:
No stealing, we may be outlaws but we're not thieves.

Putter:
I'm a hungry outlaw, where's breakfast?

News Announcer:
[to boy] Excuse me young man, can you tell us what happened here today?

Interview Boy:
Well these men were chasing this girl, and all of a sudden, she splashed through the fountain, and wrecked this man down the escalator.

News Announcer:
[to girl] What do you think of this Billie Jean character?

Interview Girl:
She's a rebel, and uh... I'm gonna personally... I think they're picking on her because she's a girl, and I think that's disgusting.

News Announcer:
Well there you have a woman's perspective...

Interview Teen:
I thought it was awesome, this guy was chasing Billie Jean up the stairs, she turnd around and kicked him in the nuts and kept on running, I thought it was hilarious. Billie Jean if you're out there, I love you! [blows kiss]

Billie Jean:
I'm Billie Jean Davy, and I wanna set the record straight.

Ringwald:
[notices hair cut very short] Oh my God!

Policeman #1:
Wow!

Billie Jean:
I'm not a liar, I'm not a thief, and neither is my brother.

Binx:
[cuts in] Hello, ma!

Billie Jean:
[shoves Binx aside] Sorry, that is him. Mom, I don't know when we'll be comin' home, but we love you. I know people are making up stories about us. Don't you believe them. As for you, Mr. Pyatt. You are so sleazy.

Putter:
[cheers on camera] YEA!

Billie Jean:
You think you can do anything you want and then lie about it and we just have to take it, because what are we? Just a bunch of kids. Well not this time. From now on we're doin' this our way. No lyin', no cheatin', fair is fair.

Kid #1 in Crowd:
[at electronics store watching TV] Alright!

Billie Jean:
$608 dollars for the scooter your son trashed. That's what you owe, and we're NOT turnin' ourselves in til we get it. Fair is fair! We didn't start this, we didn't mean it to happen, but we're not givin' up til you pay. FAIR IS FAIR!

Billie Jean:
Lloyd, do you make videos?

Lloyd:
All the time.

Billie Jean:
What about copies?

Lloyd:
I can make as many as you want... You are absolutely right!

Ophelia:
What's she talking about?

Lloyd:
She's gonna answer their call!

Putter:
I'll be grounded till I'm 35 years old.

Putter:
Hubie won't bring it back.

Ringwald:
How do you know?

Putter:
'Cause he's a f***er, that's how I know.

Putter:
Where's Binx? Did he get in trouble? What did he do? Can I come, Billie Jean? I love police stations.

Billie Jean:
I thought you were grounded.

Putter:
I am.

Billie Jean:
[after escaping a guy shooting at them] Putter, oh my God, you're bleeding!

Ophelia:
She's been shot!

Putter:
No I haven't!

Billie Jean:
But there's blood! [pause] Putter, it's finally happened.

Putter:
[grins] It's about time.

Binx:
Gross!

Billie Jean:
Be quiet, Binx! It's wonderful!

Ringwald:
If that scooter's not back on your front lawn in two days...

Billie Jean:
We live in Breeze Haven...

Ringwald:
All right, in front of your trailer... you give us a call, we'll... drag in the f***er.

Pyatt:
How much did you say the bill was?

Billie Jean:
Six hundred and eight dollars.

Pyatt:
That sounds like Hubie allright.

Binx:
Did you get vanilla?

Billie Jean:
Nope, they ran out of it.

Binx:
[sips the milkshake] Strawberry? You bought strawberry?

Billie Jean:
God, Binx, don't you ever get tired of vanilla?

Donna Davy:
Binx, sulking will not get you that bike back. Spent all that money, and now here you are broken-hearted.

Billie Jean:
It wasn't his fault.

Donna Davy:
Fault doesn't matter, it's what you end up with that matters. Remember what happened to your daddy?

Billie Jean:
Oh Mom, come on...

Donna Davy:
He loved to go fast,

[to Binx]

Donna Davy:
just like you. I'm relieved that darn bike is gone.

Binx:
[discussing Vermont] Snow plows, snow balls...

Billie Jean:
Why did I get such a weird brother?

Binx:
Snow ball fights... and no alligators.

Mini-Mart Girl:
[to Billie Jean] Can I have your autograph? Please... [Billie Jean signs the newspaper]

Mini-Mart Boy:
[to Billie Jean] You know, my dad says you're gonna end up dead.

Putter's Mother:
Putter Jacks!

Putter:
Mommy! [Putter's mother hits her and she falls back on a desk and grabs a pair of scissors and holds them aimed at her mother]

Ringwald:
Putter don't! Putter! [Putter cuts off her hair]

Ophelia:
Oh my God.

Police Sergeant:
[brings 4 girls out of a cell] They all say they're Billie Jean.

Ringwald:
Call their parents, send them home.

Muldaur:
What about this gun they pulled on you, all fun and games?

Ringwald:
I've been thinking about that, I'm not sure that gun's even real. The toy store reported a few things missing, they left IOUs.

Muldaur:
These kids got the drop on you with a toy gun?

Ringwald:
[smiling] Yes sir I believe they did.

Muldaur:
I would've loved to have seen that.

Billie Jean:
[reading newspaper article] The victim was taken to Shoreline Hospital where his condition was listed as good. Did you hear that? Good! Not fair!

Ophelia:
Not critical!

Binx:
Not dead! Yaaaaaaaay! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Putter:
Billie Jean, I don't feel so good.

Billie Jean:
I wonder why, you only ate 12 Kit-Kats.

Binx:
I didn't mean to shoot him, you heard what he said, he said it wasn't loaded.

Billie Jean:
We have to go to the police.

Ophelia:
They'll never believe you.

Binx:
It was an accident!

Ophelia:
You think he's gonna say that? It's his word against a bunch of crazy kids, he's gonna lie.

Pyatt:
Little more, little less, just take the money.

Billie Jean:
For my troubles? Or to keep my mouth shut? Or maybe for a few minutes in the upstairs room of your store. How much is that worth to you, Mister Pyatt?

Pyatt:
Nobody forced you up there, you knew exactly what you were doing.

Billie Jean:
But what about our lessons? Pay as you go, earn as you learn. What were you going to teach me, Mr. Pyatt? And you said I was gonna love it, love being touhed by a man like you.

Putter:
[after getting her first period] When can I get a diaphragm?

Binx:
I was scared.

Billie Jean:
So was I.

Binx:
Why were they shooting at us?

Lloyd:
I'm done being your hostage.

Billie Jean:
Fine, I'll see you in jail!

Binx:
How can they say that about us?

Billie Jean:
They can say whatever they want, we're news now.

Jimmy J. Judge:
Are you listening, Billie Jean? There is 608 at 101, come on in, girl, and pick it up. That's right Billie Jean, it's been pouring in from all over the state, you stay out there long enough, you can buy your brother 10 scooters. It's 608 at 101, this is Jimmy J. Judge.

Girl:
Billie Jean, you wanna go to Mexico?

Billie Jean:
No, I can't.

Girl:
But they can't touch you down there.

Billie Jean:
I have to find my brother.

Woman in Pickup:
Stop the car, it's her!

Man in Pickup:
Who?

Woman in Pickup:
Billie Jean, back there!