The Love Bug

Jim Douglas:
Without a real car, I'm only half a man.

Jim Douglas:
You don't understand what happens, do you? They make ten thousand cars, they make them exactly the same way, and one or two of 'em turn out to be something special. Nobody knows why.

Jim Douglas:
I may be kidding myself, but I think I can make something out of that sad little bucket of bolts.

Jim Douglas:
Has everybody gone nuts around here? I can understand how Tennessee feels, he's just in off a flying saucer.

Mr. Thorndyke:
I salute your honesty, my dear, a quality not necessarily to be despised.

Mr. Thorndyke:
At a time like this, whatever kind of time it is, I always say money serves to ease the pain.

Carole:
Help, I'm a prisoner! I can't get out!

Van Hippy:
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in. [looks at his partner] Huh, a couple of weirdos, Guenivere.

Jim Douglas:
Why is it the only food we have in this house is parrot food? I mean, we don't *have* a parrot.

Tennessee Steinmetz:
Eat that! That's good! That's pressed kelp. That aerates your liver.

Jim Douglas:
Where's the beast? You didn't cut up the Edsel!

Tennessee Steinmetz:
Came over me all of a sudden. Seemed like the only decent thing do. Believe me, Jim, it'll be happier up there.

Jim Douglas:
What do you know? Engine stalled.

Carole:
[tries to get out] How about that? Door's stuck. That's how it is with cars sometimes. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens next.

Jim Douglas:
Well, as someone very wisely once said, "That's how it is with cars sometimes."

Carole:
I just said that.

Jim Douglas:
Oh.

Mr. Thorndyke:
Havershaw, I'm not a cowardly man, but I get the feeling that thing is out to get me.

Havershaw:
Now, now, sir, none of that. We're not losing our nerve, are we?

Mr. Thorndyke:
BLAST you, Havershaw! How dare you patronize me! I am not losing my nerve!

Havershaw:
No, sir. No, sir, of course not.

Jim Douglas:
What's that for?

Mr. Thorndyke:
I beg your pardon!

Jim Douglas:
Well, why don't you let the little car alone?

Mr. Thorndyke:
Are you presuming to tell me what to do in my own establishment?

Jim Douglas:
Ok, I'm out of line. It just bugs me to see somebody abusing a decent piece of machinery.

Carole:
I wonder if your reputation is altogether true.

Jim Douglas:
What's my reputation?

Carole:
Well, I've heard that Jim Douglas is only interested in fast cars and easy money.

Jim Douglas:
Not true.

Carole:
Oh.

Jim Douglas:
Mm-hmm. You know something else?

Carole:
What?

Jim Douglas:
When the light hits you just right, you're as beautiful as General Grant on a $50 bill.

Mr. Thorndyke:
Good evening.

Tennessee Steinmetz:
Sorry, the other rats are out for the evening!

Mr. Thorndyke:
What part of Ireland did you say your mother came from?

Tennessee Steinmetz:
Coney, Island.

[Jim accidentally bangs Herbie against Thorndyke's Rolls Royce]

Mr. Thorndyke:
Have you gone mad?

Jim Douglas:
Okay, what's the joke?

Mr. Thorndyke:
What do you mean?

Jim Douglas:
I don't know how you rigged it, but I'm sure that car is a real cut-up when a convention comes to town.

Mr. Thorndyke:
What in the name of...

Jim Douglas:
If I'd wanted a trick car, I would have bought one at a joke shop.

Mr. Thorndyke:
Allow me to say that I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. You come billowing up in that beastly little car, and assault my personal Rolls Royce.

Jim Douglas:
...I brought it back! I want my money, I want the papers I signed, and then I'll get outta here, and you two clowns can, can have your little laugh.

Carole:
Mr. Douglas, if there is anything wrong with the car, would you be good enough to tell me what it is?

Jim Douglas:
Well, there's nothing essentially wrong with the car. It's just that it wants to go one way and I'd like to go the other.

Mr. Thorndyke:
Well, whatever it is, none of it is covered in our guilt-headed guarantee.

Jim Douglas:
Oh, I'm sure of that.

Herbie Will Honk His Way Into Your Heart.

It's a Love-in for Herbie... the incredible little car who shifts for himself!

Jim Douglas:
Where's the beast? You didn't cut up the Edsel!

[Jim notices the Edsel's grill mounted on the wall.]

Tennessee Steinmetz:
Came over me all of a sudden. Seemed like the only decent thing do. Believe me, Jim, it'll be happier up there.