The Man Show

The Fox:
Ziggy socky, ziggy socky, hoy, hoy, hoy!

Adam Carolla:
And now girls jumping on trampolines!

Adam Carolla:
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do...

Jimmy Kimmel:
We're the ones that are supposed to be telling them what to do, right? Enough is enough, the Oprahization of America needs to be stopped!

Adam Carolla:
Yes, Oprah needs to do a little less brainwashing, and a little more sock washing!

[dog poo explodes in Adam's face]

Adam Carolla:
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

Jimmy Kimmel:
By the way, The Man Show is eligible for Emmy consideration.

Adam Carolla:
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

Jimmy Kimmel:
I'd rather be a gerbil on Fire Island during the Vaseline Day Parade than see that movie.

Jimmy Kimmel:
We are building a dam.

Adam Carolla:
A dam to hold back the tidal wave of feminization that is flooding this country.

Jimmy Kimmel:
A dam to stop the river of estrogen that is drowning us in political correctness.

Adam Carolla:
A dam to urinate off of when we're really drunk.

Jimmy Kimmel:
We call this dam...

Both:
...The Man Show.

Jimmy Kimmel:
Homo-bile?

The Bishop Don Magic Juan:
Nah, man, Ho-mobile.

[after the Magical Negro has sung an extended song about penises; Doug interrupts him before he gets too far]

Doug Stanhope:
Alright, alright, I get it. Jeez, you sure know a lot about penises.

The Magical Negro:
[happily] Well I should; I have three!