The Man with One Red Shoe

[Morris looks back at a chair he broke]

Morris:
Sorry about that chair.

Richard:
Oh, that's OK, it was... really old.

Morris:
These are very good cigars. I want you to smoke one after you get a little. You do get a little?

Richard:
Yeah... a little.

Hulse:
Here's where he varied from the program. That has to be the message. We fed the notes into the computer.

Cooper:
[reading] "ARDIE BETGO INDYO CEFAR OGGEL." What the hell is this?

Hulse:
I don't know.

Carson:
Oh, come on, can't you see? He's rubbing our noses in it! Let's just pick him up and put an end to it.

Cooper:
[frowning] Is this "cefar oh-gle" or "cefar oggle"?

Hulse:
Oh-gle.

Cooper:
"Oh-gle"?

Hulse:
Could be "oggle."

Cooper:
Hulse, I want you to put a special mike on him tonight, one that isolates everything he plays from the rest of the orchestra. Carson, you link it into the GBLX 1000 computer.

Maddy:
The GBLX?

Cooper:
Yeah. That thing'll break any code.

Maddy:
But that's in control of our entire missile defense system!

Cooper:
Honey, will you please - what are the odds of the Russians attacking on a Thursday night?

Cooper:
Professor Chermenko, what about that handwriting?

Professor Chermenko:
Ah. Richard Drew is a complex man, filled to the breaking point with psychological conflicts. His violin is a substitute for severe anger and repression. [pause] *Sexual* repression.

Paula:
Remember Chicago? Fate? Kismet?

Richard:
No, I don't remember, Paula. You got me drunk.

Carson:
How'd it go, sir?

Cooper:
Great. I haven't felt this good since I overthrew the government of Chile.

Ross:
[Talking about Cooper] He made the mousetrap himself. All we did was feed him a piece of cheese.

Brown:
About this piece of cheese, sir. What's going to happen to him?

Ross:
What?

Brown:
Wouldn't it bother you to send an innocent man to his grave?

Ross:
Are you serious? We're talking about my career.

Brown:
But I'm the one who picked him, sir.

Ross:
Don't tell me you're having a guilty conscience.

Brown:
It was his shoe. I could have picked a black man with a green raincoat. There was a Japanese guy with five cameras. I could have picked him. But I preferred the guy with the red shoe.

Ross:
Brown, you're not being paid to be a philosopher. Wait until you retire. Tell Virdon and Reese to clear off and take a well-earned rest. They must be tired.

Brown:
But what am I supposed to do with the Red Shoe?

Ross:
[as the helicopter takes off] Save him for your memoirs.

Reese:
Subject in transit. Has changed his shoes. Riding a bicycle. Ten-speed, I suspect.

Maddy:
Are you OK? You seem tense.

Richard:
Oh, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not tense. Well, I did pass out today... and got hit in the head by a baseball... and brushed my teeth with shampoo... then butchered Rimsky- Korsakov in front of 1,500 people, and my clothes fell apart. But I'm not *tense*.

Morris:
I'm not well, you know.

Paula:
Oh, don't talk about Morris. All he cares about is his practical jokes.

Richard:
I know, I know, I know, he's a percussionist, but still, that doesn't mean he's not a nice guy.

[after having all his teeth yanked out without anesthetic]

Reese:
[slurringly] Do you have some aspirin?

Stemple:
[while searching the sewer for evidence] Second time around this sewer and I haven't found sh*! Control yourself. Control yourself. What would Gordon Liddy do? No, I can't do that, I'm not hungry.

Richard:
[Richard, playing a violin solo, begins to ad-lib his own composition. The conductor angrily taps on Richard's music stand] What?

The Conductor:
[Sarcastically] This evening we are playing Scheherazade. Would you care to join us?

Richard:
Oh.

Richard:
[Looking at Maddy's richly decorated apartment] All this on just a tour guide's salary?

Maddy:
I'll let you in on a little secret. My uncle, Burt, owns the company. [She's talking towards to 2-way mirror, where Cooper and the others are watching]

Cooper:
Adorable.

Maddy:
[Richard and Maddy are being chased on the subway] Richard, tell me. Are you an agent?

Richard:
No! But I used to have an agent.

Maddy:
No! No. Do you work for the government? Are you a spy?

Richard:
No, of course not. I'm no more a spy than you're spy.

Maddy:
Richard... I am a spy.

Richard:
You're a spy?

Ross:
[Closing lines] And the Man With One Red Shoe. What's going to happen to him?

Brown:
He'll be just fine.

Ross:
And the girl?

Brown:
The deal was her testimony for her freedom. I think it was a fair exchange.

Ross:
Well, I don't think so.

Brown:
[as Brown get on the helicopter] Well, since you're no longer director of CIA, and I am, it doesn't matter what you think. [Ross gives him a angry look as the helicopter takes off]