The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Pooh:
[after the seam on his bottom splits] Oh, stuff and fluff.

Tigger:
Honey! Oh, boy, honey! That's what tiggers like best.

Pooh:
I was afraid of that.

Tigger:
[gulps down a few handfuls] Oh, say.

[chuckles, then smacks]

Tigger:
YUCK! Tiggers don't like honey!

Pooh:
But you said you that you liked....

Tigger:
Yeah, that icky, sticky stuff is only fit for heffalumps and woozles.

Pooh:
You mean elephants and weasels.

Tigger:
That's what I said, heffalumps and woozles.

Eeyore:
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.

Pooh:
The only reason for being a bee is to make honey. And the only reason for making honey is so I can eat it.

Narrator:
Winnie the Pooh crawled out of the gorse bush, brushed the prickles from his nose and began to think again.

Pooh:
Think, think, think.

Narrator:
And the first person he thought of was...

Pooh:
Winnie the Pooh?

Narrator:
No. Christopher Robin.

Pooh:
Oh.

Christopher Robin:
There now. Did I get your tail back on properly, Eeyore?

Eeyore:
No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway.

Pooh:
Good morning, Christopher Robin.

Christopher Robin:
Oh, good morning, Winnie the Pooh.

Eeyore, Owl, Kanga, and Roo:
Good morning, Pooh bear.

Eeyore:
If it is a good morning, which I doubt.

Pooh:
[after rolling in the mud] There, now. [giggles, then hops out of the mud puddle]

Pooh:
Isn't it a clever disguise?

Christopher Robin:
What are you supposed to be?

Pooh:
[looks himself over] I'm a little, black rain cloud, of course.

Christopher Robin:
[giggles] Silly old bear.

Pooh:
[in a sticky voice] I must be going now. Goodbye, Rabbit.

Rabbit:
Well, goodbye, if you're sure you won't have any more.

Pooh:
[turns to leave then stops] Is there any more?

Rabbit:
No, there isn't.

Pooh:
I thought not. [tries to climb out the front door but it stuck]

Pooh:
Oh, oh, help and bother! I'm stuck.

Rabbit:
Oh, dear. Oh, gracious. Oh. [tries to push Pooh out] Well, it all comes from eating too much.

Pooh:
[strains] It all comes from not having front doors big enough!

Owl:
Blast it all!

Gopher:
Good idea! We'll dynamite! Save time.

Owl:
Eh, what's the charge?

Gopher:
The charge? Oh, about seven sticks of dynamite.

Owl:
Oh, no, no, no, no! The cost! The charge in money.

Gopher:
Nope, no charge account. I work strictly cash.

Owl:
Obviously, but, I should think...

Gopher:
Well, I can't stand around lollygagging all day. I got a tight schedule. [falls down a hole, screaming] If you think it over, let me know. You got my card. I'm not in the book, you know.

Owl:
Oh. Dash it all, he's gone.

Pooh:
After all, he's not in the book, you know.

Owl:
Oh.

Kanga:
Pooh, Roo has a little surprise for you.

Roo:
Flowers.

Pooh:
Honeysuckle! [tries to eat flowers]

Kanga:
No, Pooh, you don't eat them. You smell them.

Pooh:
Oh.

Rabbit:
Why did I ever invite that bear to lunch? Why, oh, why, oh, why?

Pooh:
Could you spare a sssmall sssmackerel?

Gopher:
Say, you ought to do sssomething abou that ssspeech impediment, sssonny. [offers Pooh his jar of honey]

Pooh:
Oh, thank you, Gopher.

O'Malley:
Honey? Oh, boy, honey? That's what O'Malley cats like best.

Roquefort:
I was afraid of that.

O'Malley:
[licking down a few handfuls] Oh, say.

[chuckles, then smacks]

O'Malley:
Bah! O'Malley cats don't like honey?

Roquefort:
But you said that you liked....

O'Malley:
Yeah, that sicked to you stomach is only fit for Heffalumps and Woozles.

Roquefort:
You mean Elephants and Woozles?

O'Malley:
That's what I said, Heffalumps and Woozles.

Roquefort:
Good morning, Mowgli.

Mowgli:
Oh, good morning, Roquefort.

Duchess:
Good morning, Roquefort.

Toulouse:
Good morning, Roquefort.

Duchess:
Roquefort, Toulouse has a little surprise for you.

Toulouse:
Flowers.

Roquefort:
Honeysuckle? [tries to eat flowers]

Duchess:
No, Roquefort, you don't eat flowers. You smell them.

Roquefort:
Oh.

Narrator:
Winnie the Pooh lived in this enchanted forest under the name of Sanders, which means he had the name over the door in gold letters and he lived under it. And if Pooh heard his cuckoo clock... [Pooh hears his cuckoo clock sound off] He knew it was time for something. But he was a bear of very little brain. Then as he thought, he thought in the thoughtful way he could think.

Pooh:
[talking to his reflection in the mirror] Haven't thought of anything, have you? [shakes his head] Well, neither have I. Think, think, think... Oh yes! Time for my stoutness exercise.

Narrator:
Winnie the Pooh crawled out of the gorse bush, brushed the prickles from his nose and began to think again.

Pooh:
Think, think, think.

Narrator:
And the first person he thought of was...

Pooh:
Winnie the Pooh?

Narrator:
No. Christopher Robin.

Pooh:
Oh.

Narrator:
Christopher Robin lived in another part of the forest, where he could be near his friends and help them with their problems. On this summer day, gloomy old Eeyore, being stuffed with sawdust, had lost his tail again.

Christopher Robin:
Eeyore, this won't hurt.

Eeyore:
Never does.

[Christopher Robin hammers Eeyore's tail back on him]

Christopher Robin:
[accidently hurts his hand] Ooh, heh, heh. There now. Did I get your tail back on properly, Eeyore?

Eeyore:
No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway.

Owl:
It is my considered opinion that Eeyore's tail should be placed a trifle to the... right.

Kanga:
Now, if you would ask me, I think it just a wee bit...

Roo:
South!

Kanga:
No, no. North, dear.

Christopher Robin:
Cheer up, Eeyore. Don't be so gloomy. Try swishing it.

[Eeyore successfully swishes his tail]

Owl:
It worked, it worked!

Roo:
Oh Goody! Hooray!

Eeyore:
Thanks. It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.

Pooh:
[enters] Good morning, Christopher Robin!

Christopher Robin:
Oh, good morning, Winnie the Pooh!

Kanga:
Good morning, Pooh!

Owl:
Good morning, Pooh!

Roo:
Good morning, Pooh Bear!

Eeyore:
If it is a good morning, which I doubt.

Christopher Robin:
What are you looking for, Pooh Bear?

Pooh:
I just said to myself coming along thinking and wondering if you had such a thing as a umm, such a thing, Christopher... as a balloon about you?

Christopher Robin:
What do you want a balloon for?

Pooh:
Psst... Honey.

Christopher Robin:
But you don't get honey with a balloon.

Pooh:
I do.

Christopher Robin:
How?

Pooh:
I just fly like a bee, up to the honey tree, see!

Christopher Robin:
But, just a minute. You can't fool the bees that way.

Pooh:
You'll see. Now, would you be so kind as to pull me to a muddy place of which I know of?

Narrator:
So Christopher Robin pulled Winnie the Pooh to the very muddy place. And Pooh rolled and rolled until he was black all over.

Pooh:
[covering himself with black mud] There, now. [chuckles] Isn't it a clever disguise?

Christopher Robin:
What are you supposed to be?

Pooh:
[looks at himself] I'm a little black rain cloud, of course.

Christopher Robin:
[chuckles] Silly old bear.

Pooh:
Now, would you aim me as the bees, please?

Rabbit:
There he goes!

Gopher:
Sufferin' sassafrass! He is sailing clean out of the book! Quick, turn the page!

[Pooh lands in a hollow in a tree]

Eeyore:
Stuck again.

Christopher Robin:
Don't worry, Pooh! We'll get you out!

Pooh:
No hurry. Take your time. Yum, yum! [singing] Bears love honey and I'm a Pooh bear! Yum, yum, yum, yum! Time for something sweet!

Narrator:
So we come to the next chapter, in which...

Pooh:
But, I haven't finished yet!

Narrator:
But, Pooh, you're in the next chapter.

Pooh:
Oh. What happens to me?

Narrator:
Well, let's turn the page and find out. Now one fine day, the east wind traded places with the west wind, and that's turned things up a bit all through the Hundred Acre Wood.

Narrator:
Now, Piglet lived in the middle of the forest in a very grand house in the middle of a beech tree. And Piglet loved it very much.

Piglet:
[as he's sweeping the leaves on the ground] Yes. Oops. You see its been in the family a long time, a... it belonged to my grandfather. Oh, that's his name up there, "Trespassers Will", that's short for a...Trespassers William.

Narrator:
Trespassers William?

Piglet:
Yes, and Grandma, she called him TW. That's even shorter.

Narrator:
Yes, yes, yes, and on this blustery day...

Piglet:
[gets caught by a leaf bigger than him] Whoa!

Narrator:
...the wind was giving you a bit of a bother.

Piglet:
Now, you've been here before. I don't mind the leaves that are leaving. It's the leaves that are coming.

[Owl's Tree crashes to the ground]

Piglet:
Oh dear, oh dear, dear!

Owl:
[pops up] Well, I say! Someone hasn't - [Pooh pops up as well] Pooh. Did you do it?

Pooh:
[shakes his head] I don't think so.

Narrator:
As soon as Christopher Robin heard of the disaster, he hurried to the scene of Owl's misfortune.

Christopher Robin:
What a pity. Owl, I don't think we will ever be able to fix it.

Eeyore:
If you ask me, when a house looks like that, it's time to find another one.

Christopher Robin:
That's a very good idea, Eeyore.

Eeyore:
It might take a day or two, but I'll find a new one.

Narrator:
So the Hundred Acre Wood got floodier and floodier. But the water couldn't come up to Christopher Robin's house, so that's where everyone was gathering. It was a time of great excitement. But in the midst of all excitement, Eeyore stubbornly stuck to his task of house hunting for Owl.

Eeyore:
There's one. Cozy cottage. Nice location. Bit damp for Owl though. [the house sinks into the water]

Narrator:
Meanwhile, little Roo made an important discovery.

Roo:
Look! I've rescued a bottle! And it's got something in it too!

Christopher Robin:
It's a message! And it says: "Help! P-P-Piglet Me!" Owl, you fly over to Piglet's house, and tell him we'll make a rescue.

Owl:
A rescue! Yes, yes, of course, of course.

Narrator:
So, Owl flew out the flood and he soon spotted two tiny objects below him. One was little Piglet caught in the whirlpool, and the other was Pooh trying to get the last bit of honey from the pot.

Pooh:
Good-bye, Piglet. Now, is the next chapter all about me?

Narrator:
No, no, it's mostly about Tigger.

Pooh:
Oh, brother.

Narrator:
But, you're in it.

Pooh:
Oh, good. What will I be doing?

Kanga:
Oh, my goodness! Roo, how did you get way up there?

Roo:
Easy, Mama! We bounced up!

Kanga:
Oh, gracious. Do be careful, dear!

Roo:
I'm alright, Mama, but Tigger's stuck! [giggles]

Kanga:
Oh, what a shame. That's too bad.

Christopher Robin:
Pooh, what do you like doing best in the world?

Pooh:
What I like best is me going to visit you and you saying "how about a smackarill of honey?"

Christopher Robin:
I like that too. But what I like best is just doing nothing.

Pooh:
How do you do just nothing?

Christopher Robin:
Well, it's when the grown-ups ask" what are you going to do?" and you're saying nothing and then you go out and do it.

Pooh:
I like that. Let's do it all the time!

Christopher Robin:
You know something Pooh? I'm not going to do just nothing any more.

Pooh:
You mean never again?

Christopher Robin:
Well, not so much. Pooh, when I'm away just doing nothing will you come up here sometimes?

Pooh:
You mean alone? Just me?

Christopher Robin:
Yes. And Pooh. Promise you won't forget me, ever?

Pooh:
Oh I won't Christopher, I promise.

Christopher Robin:
Not even when I'm a hundred?

Pooh:
How old shall I be then?

Christopher Robin:
Ninety-nine, silly old bear.

Narrator:
Wherever they go and whatever happens to them on the way in that enchanted place on top of the forest, a little bear will always be waiting.

Narrator:
This could be the room of any small boy. But it just happens to belong to a boy named, Christopher Robin. Like most small boys, Christopher Robin has toy animals to play with and they all live together in a world of make-believe. But his best friend is a bear called Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh or short. Now, Pooh had some very unusual adventures and they all happened here in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Narrator:
Winnie the Pooh lived in this enchanted forest under the name of Sanders, which means he had the name over the door in gold letters and he lived under it. And if Pooh heard his cuckoo clock, he knew it was time for something. But he was a bear of very little brain. Then as he thought, he thought in the thoughtful way he could think.

Narrator:
Owl talked from page 41 to page 62, and on page 62, the blustery day turned into a blustery night. To Pooh, it was a very anxious sort of night, filled with anxious sorts of noises, and one of the noises was a sound that had never been heard before.

Narrator:
Now, the very blustery night turned into a very rainy night. And, Pooh kept his lonely vigil, until at last Pooh fell fast asleep and began to dream.

Narrator:
As a matter it was raining all over the Hundred Acre Wood. There was a thunderstorm on page 71, and on page 73, there was a bit of a cloudburst. It rained, and it rained, and it rained.

Winnie the Pooh:
Oh, brother. I think I shall come down.