The Mating Season

Mr. Paget:
It's the first of July, Mrs. McNulty.

Ellen McNulty:
Already? Gee, June flied in a hurry. Isn't it?

Mr. Paget:
So did May and April. The bank can't wait any longer.

Val McNulty:
Junior Kalinger? Oh, he's OK.

Ellen McNulty:
Oh, go on, I've stepped on better things.

Ellen McNulty:
You don't know what it was like working with her yesterday. I felt like I was 21 again.

Val McNulty:
Oh Malarky

Ellen McNulty:
Look wiseguy, I didn't feel like I was 21 when I was 21.

Ellen McNulty:
When you stop worrying, you'll be dead.

Fran Carleton:
If your father were alive, he'd turn over in his grave!

Maggie Carleton:
When you've been brought up in a half a dozen embassies, the little princes and little dukes and little diplomats, bowing from the waist and kissing your hand, what do you think you dream about?

Val McNulty:
What?

Maggie Carleton:
You dream of meeting a man.

Maggie Carleton:
I married a stranger!

Val McNulty:
Everybody marries a stranger.

Fran Carleton:
[speaking of 'the aberrations that sometime overtake the male sex'] Why I once knew a brigadier general who couldn't be left alone with a French telephone!

Ellen McNulty:
If you're a chicken, you can fool people about your feathers. But when you start laying eggs all over the place, they know you're a chicken.

Ellen McNulty:
[to Val, the newlywed] This is your mating season, you're entitled to be alone.

Val McNulty:
Ma, when will you get over that I'm not six years old anymore?

Ellen McNulty:
Never. Six is plenty big for a boy to be.

Ellen McNulty:
Never eat standing up, and never cook sittin' down.

Ellen McNulty:
Well, who stole the meat outta her sandwich?

Fran Carleton:
[Preparing a sleeping pill for her daughter, Maggie] Now you just swallow one of these pills, and you'll sleep for eight solid hours... Here. You know who gave them to me? I wouldn't want it known... Mussolini! He was a terrible man, but he ate well, and he slept well.