The Mummy

Ardeth Bey:
(narrating) Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti I. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dead; birthplace of Anck-Su-Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her; but for their love, they were willing to risk life itself. To resurrect Anck-Su-Namun, Imhotep and his priests broke into her crypt and stole her body. They raced deep into the desert, taking Anck-Su-Namun's corpse to Hammunaptra, City of the Dead, ancient burial site for the sons of pharaohs, and resting place for the wealth of Egypt. For his love, Imhotep dared to cause anger by going deep into the city, where he took the black Book of the Dead from its holy resting place. Anck-Su-Namun's soul had been sent to the dark Underworld, her vital organs removed and placed in five sacred canopic jars. Anck-Su-Namun's soul had come back from the dead, but Pharaoh's bodyguards followed Imhotep and stopped him before the ritual was complete. Imhotep's priests were condemned to be mummified alive; as for Imhotep, he was condemned to endure the Hom Dai, the worst of all ancient curses. One so horrible had never been done before. He was to remain sealed inside his sarcophagus, the undead for all eternity. The Medjai would never allow him to be released. For he would arise a walking disease, a plague upon mankind, an unholy flesh-eater with the strength of the ages, power over the sands, and the glory of invincibility. For centuries, men and armies fought over this city not knowing what evil lay beneath it; and we, the Medjai, the decendents of Pharaoh's sacred bodyguards, kept watch

Ardeth Bey:
This creature is the bringer of death. It will never eat, it will never sleep, and it will never stop.

Imhotep:
(in Ancient Egyptian to Anck-Su-Namun) You shall live again! I will resurrect you!

Anck-Su-Namun:
(in Ancient Egyptian) My body is no longer his temple! (commits suicide)

Jonathan:
(to the American, shooting on the boat) I say, bloody good show, chaps! And did I panic? I think not!

Jonathan:
Do something, do something! (Rick pulls out a knife) Not that, not that!

Jonathan:
(As Rick bowls Beni over with a chair) Nice shot!

Rick:
(about the priest mummies) Damn, these guys just don't quit, do they?

Rick:
I only gamble with my life, never my money.

Rick:
(seeing Imhotep regenerate) We are in very serious trouble.

Rick:
(to Beni, after discovering he is in league with the mummy of Imhotep) You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you, Beni?

Beni:
It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path. As long as I serve him, I am immune.

Beni:
I loved the whole sand wall trick...it was beautifully... bastards.

(after Evie knocks down the library shelves)

Curator Terrence Bey:
Oh look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies, locusts! Anything but you. Compared to you the other plagues were a joy!

Evie:
I'm so very sorry, it was an accident.

Curator Terrence Bey:
An accident? My dear girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident, you are a catastrophe! Look at my library! Why do I put up with you?

Evie:
Well, you put up with me because I can read and write in ancient Egyptian, decipher hieroglyphics and hieratics... and well (getting angry) I am the only person within five thousand miles who can properly code and catalogue this library, that's why!

Evie:
Mister O'Connell, can you look me in the eye, and guarantee me that this isn't all some kind of a flimflam? Because I am warning you…

Rick O'Connell:
You're 'warning me'? Listen, lady, let me put it to you this way. My whole damn garrison believed in the legend of Hamunaptra so much, that - without orders - they marched halfway across Libya and into Egypt just to 'find' that city. And when we got there... all we found was sand, and blood.

Evie:
(Stunned into silence)

Rick:
... Lemme get your bags.

Jonathan:
Yes, you're right. Filthy, rude, complete scoundrel, nothing to like there at all.

Evie:
(Gives him an exasperated look)

(seeking information on the lost city of Hamunaptra, Evie and Jonathan visit O'Connell in Cairo prison)

Evie:
What exactly is this man in prison for?

Warden Gad Hassan:
I did not know. But when I learned you were coming, I asked him that myself.

Evie:
And?

Warden:
He said he was just looking for a good time.

Evie:
Where are they taking him!?

Warden:
To be hanged. Apparently, he had a very good time.

Hangman:
Any last requests, pig?

Rick:
... Yeah. Loosen the knot and let me go.

Hangman:
(hesitates) (in Arabic) Shall I let him go?

Warden:
Yahmar, of course you don't let him go!

Warden:
Bright good morning to all.

Evie:
Oh no! What are you doing here?

Warden:
I'm here to protect my investment, thank you very much.

Rick:
You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you Beni?

Beni:
What friend? You are my only friend.

Rick:
Shut up!

Beni:
It is better to be at the right hand of the devil than in his path. As long as I serve him, I am immune.

Rick:
(smashing him against a wardrobe) Immune from what?

Beni:
Piszkos állat...

Rick:
What did you say?!

Beni:
I don't wanna tell you- you'll just hurt me some more.

Rick:
What are you looking for? And try not to lie to me! (Holds Beni up against a ceiling fan)

Beni:
AHH! The book! The black book they found in Hamunaptra! He wants it back! He said to me it would be worth its weight in gold!

Johnathan:
What does he want the book for?

Beni:
Oh come on, I don't know... (Rick shoves him closer to the fan) AH! Something about bringing his dead girlfriend back to life! But that's all, I swear!

Evie:
You swear?

Rick:
Every damn day.

Evelyn:
You told me you got it on a dig down in Thebes!

Johnathan:
Yes, well, I was mistaken.

Evie:
You lied to me!

Jonathan:
I lie to everyone, what makes you so special?

Evelyn:
I am your sister!

Jonathan:
Yes, well, that just makes you more gullible.

Evie:
You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.

Beni:
(scoffs, then serious) They do?

Evie:
Always.

Evie:
I think this may be the Book of the Dead.

Rick:
The Book of the Dead? Are you sure you wanna be messing around with this thing?

Evie:
It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.

Rick:
... That happens a lot around here.

(while opening the tomb)

Evie:
Oh, I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl!

Rick:
You dream about dead guys?

Dr. Bey:
We are part of an ancient secret society. For over three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world.

Ardeth Bay:
Now, because of you, we have failed.

Evelyn:
And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?

Dr. Bey:
To stop this creature? Let me think...

Ardeth Bay, Dr. Bey:
YES!

Rick:
(finding Evie staring at the resurrected corpse of Imhotep) There you are! You've been playing hide and seek, now come on, let's get out of here! (sees Imhotep for the first time) WHOA!

(Imhotep roars)

Rick:
(roars back and shoots Imhotep with his shotgun) Move!

Rick:
Well, if it ain't my little buddy Beni! I think I'll kill you.(readies gun)

Beni:
Think of my children!

Rick:
You don't have any children.

Beni:
... Some day I might.

Rick:
Shut up! So you're the one who's leading the Americans. So what's the scam Beni, you take them out to the middle of the desert, and then you leave them to rot!?

Beni:
Unfortunatly, no. These Americans are smart: they pay only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo. So this time I must go all the way.

Rick:
That's how it is. (puts up gun)

Beni:
You never believed in Hammunaptra, O'Connell. Why are you going back?

Rick:
(looking at Evie) See that girl. She saved my neck.

Beni:
You always did have more balls than brains. (laughs)

Rick (laughs along) Goodbye, Beni (throws him overboard)

Rick:
Can you swim?

Evie:
Well of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it!

Rick:
(Picks her up) Trust me, it calls for it! (throws her overboard)

Warden:
(as ship is burning) O'Connell, O'Connell! What are we going to do? What are we going to do?!

Rick:
Wait here! I'll go get help! (jumps overboard)

Warden:
Right! [Mills about uncertainly, then realises] Aargh! Yallah! [Jumps off boat]

[after a shipwreck]

Beni:
Hey, O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses!

Rick:
Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!

Rick:
(plonking his backpack in front of Evie, who is startled) Sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya.

Evie:
The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Rick:
Ahh, still angry about that kiss?

Evie:
If you call that a kiss.

Evie:
By the way, why did you kiss me?

Rick:
(while loading handgun) I dunno. I was about to be hanged; it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Evie:
(angrily storms off) Oh!

Rick:
(confused) What? What did I say?

Winston:
So what has your little problem got to do with His Majesty's Royal Air Corps?

Rick:
Not a damn thing.

Winston:
Is it dangerous?

Rick:
Well, you probably won't live through it.

Winston:
(Excitedly) By Jove! Do you really think so?

Jonathan:
Well, everybody else we've bumped into has died. Why not you?

Imhotep:
Keetah mi pharos aja nilo... isirian.

Beni:
(translating) 'Come with me, my princess. It is time to make you mine... forever.'

Evie:
'For all eternity', idiot.

Jonathan:
What is that?

Rick:
Sounds like... bugs.

Evelyn:
(to Warden) He said bugs!

Warden Gad Hassan:
What do you mean bugs? I hate bugs!

(they have just walked into a large room full of gold treasure)

Jonathan:
Can you see--

Rick:
Yes.

Jonathan:
Can you believe--

Rick:
Yeah.

Jonathan:
Can we just--

Rick:
No.

Rick:
You're with me on this one, right?

Beni:
Oh, your strength gives me strength. (after a moment, takes off running for the ruins)

(entering Sah-Netjer)

Jonathan:
Oh, what is that god-awful stench?!

Jonathan:
(noticing the warden behind him) Oh.

Evy:
You're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?

Rick:
(nods) Something like that.

(prior to Henderson's death)

Henderson:
Get me a glass of bourbon.

Daniels:
Alright.

Henderson:
And a shot of bourbon.

Daniels:
Okay.

Henderson:
: And a bourbon chaser!

Daniels:
: Yeah, yeah, I'll get your damn bourbon.

Henderson:
Don't worry about the door.

(before killing Burns)

Beni:
Mr. Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality.

Mr. Burns:
No, it's--

Beni:
And for your eyes, and for your tongue...

Evie:
I'm going to kiss you... Mr O'Connell.

Rick:
Call me Rick.

Evie:
(Grins) Rick (leans in closer but passes out)

Rick:
No, I only gamble with my life, never my money.

Jonathan:
Two questions: Who the hell was Seti the First, and, was he rich?

Evelyn:
He was the second Pharaoh of the Nineteenth Dynasty, said to be the wealthiest pharaoh of them all.

Jonathan:
Good. That's good. I like this fellow, I like him ve-ry much.

Rick:
...Do I know you?

Johnathan:
No, no, I've just got one of those faces...(Rick punches him)

Burns:
Hey, that's my toolkit!

Rick:
No, I don't think so [Points gun at him]

Burns:
Ok-ay, perhaps I was mistaken...

Evelyn:
Ooh, and you know how they took out your brains?

Jonathan:
(playing stone golf) Evie, I don't think we need to know this...

Evelyn:
They take a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.

Rick:
Oofh, that's gotta hurt...

Evelyn:
It's called mummification, you'll be dead when they do this...

Rick:
For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification...

Jonathan:
Likewise. [hits a stone and the ceiling near them gives way]

Rick:
Is he supposed to look like that?

Evelyn:
No - no, I've never seen a mummy look like this before, he's still - still -

Jonathan and Rick:
Juicy.

Rick:
Thought you didn't believe in that fairy tales and hocum stuff (to cat) Shoo!

Evelyn:
Having an encounter with a three thousand year old walking talking corpse does tend to convert one!

Curator:
...And it appears he's already chosen his human sacrifice He and Ardeth look pointedly at Evelyn

Jonathan:
Bad luck old mum.

Evelyn:
We must stop him from regenerating. Who opened that chest?

Henderson:
Well, there was me and Daniels here. And Burns, of course...

Daniels:
And that Egyptologist fella.

Rick:
What about my buddy Beni?

Henderson:
Nah, he scrammed out of there before we opened the damn thing.

Daniels:
Yeah, he was the smart one.

Rick:
Yeah... that sounds like Beni.

Evelyn:
We must find the Egyptologist and bring him back to the safety of the fort before the creature can get to him.

Rick:
Right. (Points to Evelyn) She stays here. (To Daniels, Henderson and Jonathan) You three come with me.

Henderson:
Oh, no way!

Evelyn:
Just a minute, you can't just leave me behind here like some old kind of carpetbag, I mean, who put you in charge - (Rick throws her over his shoulder) O'Connell! What do you think you are doing? Jonathan! O'Connell!

Jonathan:
Er...sorry, Evie, he's, er...a bit...tall...

Rick:
This door doesn't open. She doesn't come out and no one goes in. Right?

Daniels:
Right.

Rick:
Right?

Henderson:
Right.

Rick:
Let's go, Jonathan.

Jonathan:
Er, well, I thought I could just stay at the fort, and er...reconnoiter...

Rick:
Now!

Jonathan:
Yeah, right, (To Americans) we're just going to rescue the, er, Egyptologist...

Evelyn:
Stop it! You'll kill them!

Beni:
...That's the idea...

Jonathan:
Uh...I'd take those bigger stones first. And take them from the top, otherwise the whole thing'll cave in on us. Come on, put your backs into it! (Rick and Ardeth turn to glare at him) Yes, well, you've got the idea. Chop chop.

Rick:
Who the hell are these guys?

Ardeth:
Priests. Imhotep's priests.

Rick:
(shrugs) Alright then. 'Fires'

Evelyn:
Keep him busy!

Rick:
(being thrown around by Imhotep) No problem

Jonathan:
Hurry up Evie!

Evelyn:
Patience is a virtue.

Rick:
Not right now it isn't.

I only gamble with my life, never my money

Evie:
You're saying you were actually in Hamunaptra?

Rick:
Yeah, I was there.

Evie:
You swear?

Rick:
Every damn day.

Evie:
I think this may be the Book of the Dead.

Rick:
The Book of the Dead? Are you sure you wanna be playing around with this thing?

Evie:
It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.

(wind blows eerily, as it has several times during tense conversations)

Rick:
...That happens a lot around here.

[Rick and the rest of the group make a toast; drinks their shots, then spits them out in disgust; scene cuts to show others in the bar spitting out their drinks as well]

Henderson:
[wipes lips] Sweet Jesus! It tasted just like—

Rick:
[drops shot glass in shock; stands up] Blood!

[Camera focuses on water fountain Rick is seeing; water is blood red]

Jonathan:
[quoting from Bible] "And the rivers and waters in Egypt ran red, and were as blood..."

Rick:
[about Imhotep] He's here...

Rick:
You're gonna get yours, Beni! You hear me?! You're gonna get yours!

Beni:
Oh, like I've never heard that before!

Anucksunamun-" my body is no longer his Temple "......

Now, I don't care how you do it; Straighten up this meshiver!

[in 1923, at the Battle of Hamunaptra, French Foreign Legionnaires are about to make a last stand against a massive force of Tuareg horsemen charging them; the French commander abandons the Legionnaires as Rick O'Connell and Beni Gabor look on]

Beni:
You just got promoted.

Rick:
[to the other Legionnaires] Steady! [lowers his voice] You're with me on this one, right?

Beni:
Oh, your strength gives me strength. (after a moment, takes off running for the ruins) Wait for me!

[Rick looks after him, then turns back to the Legionnaires]

Rick:
Steady! Steady! FIRE!

Evie:
(drunk) You're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?

Rick:
Yeah, something like that.

Evie:
Well, Egypt is in my blood. [shows picture in locket] You see, my father was a very, very famous explorer. And he loved Egypt so much, he married my mother, who was an Egyptian and an adventurer herself.

Rick:
Yeah, I get your father, I get your mother. [points to Jonathan] I get him, but what are you doing here?

Evie:
[offended] Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am!

Rick:
And what is that?

Evie:
I... am a librarian! [drops to her knees] I'm going to kiss you... Mr. O'Connell.

Rick:
Call me Rick.

Evie:
[Grins] Rick. [leans in closer but passes out]

Mr. Burns:
[to Imhotep] I'm so pleased to meet you. [extends hand; Beni stops him]

Beni:
Prince Imhotep does not like to be touched. A silly eastern superstition, I'm afraid.

Mr. Burns:
Please forgive me. [spills tea; whimpers]

Beni:
Mr. Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality.

Mr. Burns:
No.

Beni:
And for your eyes, and for your tongue...

Mr. Burns:
Wha...

Beni:
But I'm afraid more is needed. The prince must finish the job and consummate the curse, which you and your friends have brought down upon yourselves!

Rick:
Is he supposed to look like that?

Evelyn:
No – no, I've never seen a mummy look like this before, he's still – still –

Jonathan and Rick:
Juicy.

Evelyn:
Yes, he must be over 3000 years old and he looks as if he's still decomposing.

Rick:
[sees marks on sarcophagus lid] Hey, what do you make of this?

Evelyn:
My god, what could this—[traces fingers over marks] Fingernails! This man was buried alive. And he left a message: "Death is only the beginning."

Evelyn:
When I saw him alive at Hamunaptra, he called me "Anck-Su-Namun." And just now when we were at Mr. Burn's quarters, he tried to kiss me.

Curator Terrence Bey:
It's because of his love for Anck-Su-Namun that he was cursed. Apparently, even after 3000 years...

Ardeth:
He's still in love with her.

Evelyn:
Yes, that is very romantic, but what has it got to do with me?

Ardeth:
perhaps he will once again try to raise her from the dead.

Curator Terrence Bey:
Yes. And it appears he has already chosen his human sacrifice (He and Ardeth look pointedly at Evelyn)

Jonathan:
Bad luck, old mum.

Captain Winston Havelock:
Here I come, laddies!

To resurrect Anucksummamun, imhotep and his priests broke into her crypt and stole her body then raced deep into the desert to hamunaptra, city of the dead

Rick O' Connell:
[Finds Evie] There you are! You done playing hide-and-seek? C'mon, let's get out of here! [Sees Evie staying shock still, turns to see what she's looking at and sees Imhotep's live mummy] WOAH!!!