The Muppets: A Celebration of 30 Years

Ernie:
[as Bert reads off from his speech] Hey, Bert...

[plucks his nose off his face]

Ernie:
Your nose is loose, Bert.

[laughs]

Bert:
[muffed voice] Ernie, that is *not* funny.

Ernie:
But that's the old Nose Joke, Bert. It's been around since Sesame Street started in 1969.

[puts his nose back on him]

Bert:
That's true. You *have* been doing that to me for 17 years!

Ernie:
I know, Bert, but don't thank me; it's my job.

[last lines]

Kermit the Frog:
Well, thanks, everybody. It's been a great birthday party. We start our second thirty years tomorrow, so rehearsal begins at 9 AM sharp. I'll see you then.

Count von Count:
One friend from Sesame Street, plus one friend from Sesame Street, equals two friends from Sesame Street! Ah, ha, ha!

[first lines]

Fozzie Bear:
Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but the Muppets are thirty years old!

Waldorf:
[to Statler] That's okay with me. I love being thirty!

Statler:
You old fool, your pacemaker's older than that!

Robin the Frog:
Uncle Kermit, what's your favorite thing about the Muppets?

Kermit the Frog:
Well, you know, Robin, there are times when the Muppets aren't funny.

Robin the Frog:
Hmm. Yeah, but I always figured that's the writer's fault.

Kermit the Frog:
Well, no, I'm really talking about those times when we don't *try* to be just funny, and I think maybe those are my favorite parts.

Fozzie Bear:
Oh, excuse me, everybody! Now it is my turn to say something very, very special about our wonderful frog here.

Kermit the Frog:
Uh, Fozzie, let's not get mushy.

Fozzie Bear:
[shocked] Oh, frog of my heart! Is it mushy to say thank you for the faith that you've had in us all? [the huge crowd of Muppets all gather around the two while somber music plays in the background] Is it mushy to say thank you for making us a success in the show business? For all the hours of joy you have brought to the world?

Kermit the Frog:
Uh, Fozzie...

Miss Piggy:
He isn't kidding, you know, Kermit.

Sgt. Floyd Pepper:
Yeah, listen to the bear, my frog.

Fozzie Bear:
[on the verge of tears] And so, Kermit... I just... I just want to say... [he starts sobbing] Oh, I can't go on; would you roll the film?