The Music Man

Professor Harold Hill:
That hat... it's scrumptious!

[repeated line]

Mayor Shinn:
You watch your phraseology!

Professor Harold Hill:
One hour.

Marian Paroo:
One hour.

Professor Harold Hill:
[walks away]

Mrs. Paroo:
[smiles, gasps, and runs inside. Mrs. Paroo gasps and stops eavesdropping]

Marian Paroo:
Mother! I just told Professor Hill that I'd meet him at the footbridge in one hour.

Mrs. Paroo:
[crosses herself] Glory be, the saints be praised, it works!

Marian Paroo:
What does?

Mrs. Paroo:
I've been using the think system on you from the parlor!

Marian Paroo:
The librarian hasn't felt much like doing research lately, but she did plenty when you first came here.

Professor Harold Hill:
Oh? About what?

Marian Paroo:
About Professor Harold Hill. Gary Conservatory of Music, Gold-medal Class of aught-five. Harold, there wasn't any Gary Conservatory in aught-five.

Professor Harold Hill:
Why, there certainly was...

Marian Paroo:
Because the town wasn't even built until aught-six.

Professor Harold Hill:
You knew all the time?

Marian Paroo:
I tore this page out of the Indiana Journal. It was originally intended to use against you. Now I give it to you with all of my heart.

Professor Harold Hill:
But if you knew, why didn't you...

Marian Paroo:
[kisses him passionately]

Professor Harold Hill:
[passing Marian and dropping a handkerchief] Did you drop your...

Marian Paroo:
[interrupting] No.

Professor Harold Hill:
Didn't we meet in...

Marian Paroo:
[interrupting] No.

Professor Harold Hill:
I'll only be in town for a short while - I'll

Marian Paroo:
[interrupting] Good.

Constable Locke:
Professor, you're a pretty bright young fellow. Ya made a couple of mistakes though.

Professor Harold Hill:
Oh?

Constable Locke:
The mayor happens to own the billiard parlor and that new pool table.

Professor Harold Hill:
Oh. What was the other mistake?

Constable Locke:
That Zaneeta? She's the mayor's oldest girl.

Professor Harold Hill:
You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.

[first lines]

Train conductor:
River City Junction, River City next station stop, River City next Aboard!

Salesman #1:
It's them big new department stores back East. They let people buy anything on credit.

Salesman #2:
If I don't give credit, I'm gonna lose customers.

Salesman #1:
You crazy with the heat. Credit is no good for a notions salesman.

Salesman #2:
Why not? What's the matter with credit?

Salesman #1:
It's old-fashioned. Charlie, you're an anvil salesman, your firm give credit?

Charlie Cowell:
No, sir!

Salesman #1:
Nor anybody else.

[last lines]

Mayor Shinn:
Eulalie, sit down!

Mrs. Eulalie Mackechnie Shinn:
[Sits, then rises again]

Mayor Shinn:
And the rest of you. Standing there like a cote of Shropshire sheep. Have you people forgotten how you bought expensive uniforms, technical instruction books, and high priced band instruments? Have you forgotten the clear understanding and warranty that your children would be taught to play in a band? Well, where's the band? WHERE'S THE BAND?

[band marches in with much commotion. Marion hands Harold a baton]

Professor Harold Hill:
Think, men. Think. One, two...

[the band plays - if you can call that playing. Excitement and approval grow]

Mrs. Squires:
That's my Barney. That tuba's my Barney!

Mrs. Paroo:
Just look at him! He sounds wonderful!

Mrs. Squires:
Thank you!

Woman in front row:
Linus, play to me, son! Play to me!

Unseen man in crowd:
Thataway, Steve!

Tommy Djilas:
That's Eddie's clarinet!

Alma Hix:
Davey! My Davey!

Unseen man in crowd:
That's my Garrett!

Mayor Shinn:
Mrs Paroo, that's Winthrop.

[Band marches down the street playing 76 Trombones]