The Naked Truth

Nicky:
Quick! Quick! Guys, I - I need to borrow somebody's car, please.

Nora:
You can borrow my car for fifty bucks.

Nicky:
Uh, yeah, Nora. I was hoping to get one that wasn't attached to a tow truck.

Dave:
Hey, Nora, notice anything different about me?

Nora:
Constantly. But I was raised not to say anything.

Camilla:
I didn't get to the ripe old age of... 41... by boo-hooing every time I had to get rid of a body!

Camilla:
Oh, Nora, Sir Rudolph is my ideal lover - dark and powerful and ruthless and cruel...

Nora:
You just described Saddam Hussein.

Camilla:
Uh, huh. Another babe!

Camilla:
Felicia, look at you! Why, the hands of time have scarcely tou - Oh, no, now that I'm closer I can see that the hands of time have knocked you about quite a bit!

Chloe:
It's a pledge. You don't have to pay it! Do you know how much money I "pledge" to public television?

Nora:
Here's the letter from Manuel.

Chloe:
Oh, is that the little South African boy - the one you bought from Sally Struthers?

Nora:
I got one for ya: what do you call a dog with no legs and steel testicles? Sparky!

Les:
Camilla, haven't you ever done something for another human being without getting something in return?

Camilla:
Not since my high school prom!

Camilla:
You know, I've had eight nervous breakdowns. Blue Cross only gives you six!

Les:
Did you, uh, miss me?

Camilla:
Of course I missed you! I had no idea how much until I found myself gazing longingly at the Washington Monument!

Dave:
Hey, uh, is it horny in here or is it just me?

Nicky:
You can't get blood from a stone.

Nora:
But you can from a stab wound!

Camilla:
Nora, managing your money is so easy! You just use your credit cards! You pay your American Express with your Discover, your Discover with your Visa, your Visa with your Mastercard. Before they catch up with you, you're buried in a glorious crypt in Bel-Air!

Nicky Columbus:
And that's Stupid Dave.

Nora Wilde:
"Stupid Dave"? I bet there's a funny story behind that nickname.

Stupid Dave:
Uh huh. I'm stupid!

Chloe:
You know, when mother left Daddy, she got 3 million.

Nora:
I know. Plus a 20 year old Costa Rican lover and a breast enhancement!

Chloe:
And truthfully, Nora, aren't those both things you can use?

Sir Rudolph Haley:
You'll never make it in the newspaper business if you cry every time I strike you!

Camilla:
I remember my wedding. I never thought I could be that happy. Then I got divorced and I never thought I could be THAT happy!

Nora:
First date in six months.

Stupid Dave:
You haven't had a date in six months? HA! My record still stands!

Nora:
Actually, if you count my marriage, I haven't had a date in five years.

Stupid Dave:
HA! My record still stands!

[Nora meets a surprising famous person at a cryogenics lab]

Nora Wilde:
Oh, they said it was just a rumor. Guess what - your company just bought ABC.