The Nanny

[repeated line]

Joey Fane:
She tried to kill me.

Bobbie Medman:
Who's that?

Joey Fane:
Nanny.

Bobbie Medman:
Nanny? What are you, some sort of baby?

Joey Fane:
She takes care of my mom, she used to take care of me and my sister Susie, until Susie was killed.

Bobbie Medman:
Killed?

Joey Fane:
They blamed me and they sent me away to that place.

Bobbie Medman:
Prison?

Joey Fane:
Sort of.

Bobbie Medman:
And did you kill her?

Joey Fane:
Of course not.

Joey Fane:
I don't want to be moved out of this room.

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
I'll have to talk to your father about that.

Joey Fane:
Don't tell him, please...

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
I must.

Joey Fane:
If you tell him, I'll do something!

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
[startled] What will you do?

Bobbie Medman:
You said she tried to kill you.

Joey Fane:
That's right, just like she killed Susie.

Bobbie Medman:
She killed your sister?

Joey Fane:
Sort of... yes she did.

Aunt Pen:
Nanny, what are you doing?

The nanny:
I'm taking Master Joey an extra pillow... what are you doing up so late?

Aunt Pen:
I couldn't sleep, I'm going to make a cup of tea.

The nanny:
It's bad for you this late at night... you go back to bed and I'll bring you a glass of milk.

Aunt Pen:
I don't want a glass of milk, I want a cup of tea.

The nanny:
Allright.

Aunt Pen:
Nanny, don't take Joey that pillow... he'll never go back to sleep. [leaves the room and reenters a few seconds later] You don't approve of pillows, I remember you saying when we were small 'children shouldn't have pillows'. What was that word you used? Overlay, they might overlay themselves. Suffocate.

The nanny:
Master Joey is not a baby.

Aunt Pen:
What happened in the bathroom?

The nanny:
I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

Aunt Pen:
What happened?

The nanny:
Miss Pen.

Aunt Pen:
WHAT HAPPENED?

The nanny:
You're not well, let Nanny...

Aunt Pen:
Don't you come near me.

The nanny:
Miss Pen!

Aunt Pen:
You went into the bathroom, even after Joey made you swear you wouldn't.

The nanny:
Nor did I.

Aunt Pen:
You lie, it's all been lies, hasn't it? You poisoned Virgie, it wasn't Joey at all.

Joey Fane:
What's that?

Bobbie Medman:
It's an X-ray machine, don't touch it, it's dangerous.

Joey Fane:
What's so dangerous about it?

Bobbie Medman:
I don't know, but Daddy says if you get overexposed you can die.

Joey Fane:
I'd like to overexpose her.

Bobbie Medman:
That would be great, bring her up here, put her on the couch...

Joey Fane:
Tie her on the couch!

Bobbie Medman:
And overexpose her would serve her right.

Joey Fane:
I can make a hangman's knot.

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
That's enough, Joey.

Joey Fane:
Can I sleep with you tonight?

Aunt Pen:
You most certainly can not.

Joey Fane:
What happens if you die in the night? You told Mommy you could drop down dead at any time.

Aunt Pen:
Only if I excite or exert myself, and I don't plan to do either.

Joey Fane:
Is Aunt Pen ill?

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
Yes, she had traumatic fever as a baby. Left her with a weak heart.

Joey Fane:
You mean if she got scared or something, she could just fall down dead?

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
Yes.

Joey Fane:
Has *she* got a weak heart?

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
Who? If you mean Nanny, say so, is that who you mean?

Joey Fane:
Yes.

Virginia 'Virgie' Fane:
No, she's as healthy as a horse.

Bobbie Medman:
You poisoned your mum.

Joey Fane:
No I didn't.

Bobbie Medman:
The bottle was under your pillow.

Joey Fane:
She [Nanny] put it there.

Bobbie Medman:
Swear?

Joey Fane:
Cross my heart and hope to die.

Bobbie Medman:
You probably will, they'll hang you.

Dr. Medman, Fane's Upstairs Neighbor:
I've just inspected your mother.

Joey Fane:
Will she die?

Dr. Medman, Fane's Upstairs Neighbor:
No, but she's eaten something and we've got to pump it out of her tummy, what was it Joey? What was it, Joey?

Joey Fane:
I don't know, ask her [Nanny], she's the one who cooked the supper.

Joey Fane:
She's balmy.

Bobbie Medman:
Most grownups are.

Joey Fane:
No, *really* balmy, know what she did when she found Susy?

The nanny:
[flashback, finding Susy in the tub] There you are, I've been looking all over for you.

Joey Fane:
She bathed her, she had all her clothes on, she was DEAD, and she bathed her, and she talked to her while she was doing it, as if it were all normal.

Bobbie Medman:
You're making it up.

Joey Fane:
No I'm not!

Bobbie Medman:
She would've killed you?

Joey Fane:
Yes, only I wouldn't let her. I wouldn't eat incase she poisoned me, I wouldn't sleep incase she came in and smothered me. I wouldn't do anything.

Bobbie Medman:
You told them, didn't you?

Joey Fane:
Of course I told them, she told them too, she said that Susy and I were playing boats in the bath, and I pushed hers in, ran away and hid.

Joey Fane:
I'm *not* staying with her.

Dr. Medman, Fane's Upstairs Neighbor:
Now see here, Joey.

Joey Fane:
I won't! I won't stay here with her, and if you try to make me stay here with her, alone, I'll run away.

Bobbie Medman:
You look like Ben Casey.

Joey Fane:
Sit down on the couch madam, I wish to examine you.

Bobbie Medman:
Oh Doctor, do you think I ought?

Joey Fane:
Take your clothes off.

Bobbie Medman:
Really!

Aunt Pen:
You said you wouldn't go into the bathroom, he made you swear!

The nanny:
Nor did I.

Aunt Pen:
You lie!

The nanny:
Miss Pen!

Aunt Pen:
It's ALL been lies, hasn't it? Now give me that pillow.

Joey Fane:
I'm cold.

Bobbie Medman:
I'll get you something to wear.

Joey Fane:
I'm not going to wear any girl's clothes!

Bobbie Medman:
I'll get you some of my father's.

Joey Fane:
[to Virgie] I hate you.

The nanny:
What was so bad about Mrs. Griggs?

Joey Fane:
She was like you.

The nanny:
Did you know her?

Dr. Wills:
I've been with her for the past 14 hours, watching her die.

The nanny:
Why didn't you phone me sooner?

Dr. Wills:
She didn't tell me until she knew she was dying. Told me she thought she had a chance of pulling through, she just didn't want to see you. Want me to make the arrangements?

The nanny:
What?

Dr. Wills:
I'm asking if you want her properly taken care of.

The nanny:
Of course!

Dr. Wills:
Yes, well it's about 25 years too late, isn't it? You were too busy looking after other people's children, not enough time to spare for your own. [Nanny looks at Janet] No she can't help you, she's dead. She was pregnant you know. [Nanny turns around] Yeah, and not much chance of looking after the child, she couldn't bear the thought of bringing up an illegitimate baby the way she was brought up. Better get rid of it. This isn't a very *choice* neighborhood but they do know how to look after themselves in a pinch. And for what? Oh 5 or 10 pounds you can buy yourself an abortion. He left her on the doorstep to bleed to death. I take it you know something about medicine, would you like to hear the details?

The nanny:
No.

Dr. Wills:
Why not? She's your flesh and blood, don't you want to hear how she died? Not exactly in the high street class these backstreet abortionists, they want their money first before they get to work and they're not very fussy about sterilization, some of them don't even bother to wash their hands first! And they don't care where they do it either.