The Object of My Affection

Constance:
I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnant sister being in love with one of them.

Nina:
Don't open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested.

Nina:
I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?

Nina:
I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.

Nina:
You don't tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo over to sleep with him.

Nina:
You have to pick one person and make it work.

Rodney Fraser:
Don't fix your life so that you're left alone right as you come to the middle of it.

Sidney:
If I wasn't happily married and you weren't my wife's stepsister, I'd have an affair with you in a second.

Nina:
Freud didn't know DICK about women.

Rodney Fraser:
One shouldn't be too hard on oneself when the object of one's affection returns the favor with rather less enthusiasm than one might have hoped.

Dr. Robert Joley:
We're too old to settle for a twin-bedded friendship.

Rodney Fraser:
Have you noticed that you're the only practicing heterosexual at your Thanksgiving dinner?

Nina:
I haven't practiced for a while.

George Hanson:
I'm simple, that's why I teach first grade.

Sidney:
I swear, I'm hotter than a goat in China.

Sidney:
Betty, we should go.

Constance:
Betty was your other wife. I'm Constance.

Constance:
Do you love him?

Nina:
Yeah, whatever that means.

Nina:
I want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you.

George Hanson:
Do you ever just want to touch her nose? I mean it's like a Tulip.

Nina:
Don't start that with her.

Nina:
Head up, young person.

Dr. Robert Joley:
Are you okay, honey?

George Hanson:
How did we get back to the "honey" stage so quickly?

Dr. Robert Joley:
Maybe we never should have left it.