The Office Wife

Anne Murdock:
Oh, I've made a mistake.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
Yes? Let me see.

Anne Murdock:
Isn't it awful?

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
Oh you poor kid. You're all worn out.

Anne Murdock:
I don't care.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
Anne, you're glorious.

Anne Murdock:
Am I?

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
I've just discovered you.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
You see that office building over there?

Kate Halsey:
It's an architectural monstrosity.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
In every office there's a stenographer.

Kate Halsey:
You called them potential mothers last time.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
How do you like this, "Most woman holding important business positions today have come up by the stenographer private secretary route."

Kate Halsey:
Ha, there's a long, long trail a winding.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
Now listen, "A man is propelled toward the woman he marries by emotion."

Kate Halsey:
The fool!

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
"But his selection of a secretary is more careful and intelligent."

Kate Halsey:
Ha! Yes it is, I don't think. First he looks at her legs. Then, he smells her perfume. Then he stares at her face. And if he still admires her legs, he's sold.

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
Behave. I'm serious.

Kate Halsey:
You mean, the modern business man's secretary is closer than his wife, yet, not his wife.

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
Come in, Miss Murdock. Sit down. Well, you're being promoted.

Anne Murdock:
Promoted! I have?

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
Yes. Miss Andrews resigned last night. You are to be Mr. Fellows new secretary.

Anne Murdock:
Yeh.

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
You see, he's leaving next week, for Europe, on his honeymoon. While he's gone, you'll have entire charge of his office. So, you'll know what its all about when he gets back. Congratulations.

Anne Murdock:
Weeeee! [Jumps up] Oh, I'm sorry.

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
Your new salary begins next week, but, I'm going to give you a week off so you'll get used to the idea.

Anne Murdock:
Oh, thank you, Mr. McGowan.

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
And, Anne, you got this, on your work. What I mean is, charm counts, but, you got this on your brains. Don't forget that Anne.

Anne Murdock:
In deed, I won't, Mr. McGowan.

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
Now, run along, fix your face.

Anne Murdock:
Thank you.

Katherine:
Sis, aren't you going to work? Sis!

Anne Murdock:
No.

Katherine:
Fired? I thought you would be. You know, you can't, with people the way you do. Who made a play for you?

Anne Murdock:
Nobody.

Katherine:
No, don't tell me that, Anne. Honest, you ought to get wise to yourself. Take me, for instance. I gained six pounds, maybe more, but still I'm the pet model of the elite dress shop. And you know why? Because, I let that frog of a manager kiss me on the ear, every now and then.

Anne Murdock:
I got my raise on brains, not good looks. Mr. McGowan said so.

Katherine:
Yeah, and how much is your raise? A dollar a week?

Anne Murdock:
If you come home nights, before I'm asleep, you might learn something. I'm the President's private secretary and I've got a weeks vacation. And, I'm to handle the office until he gets back from Europe. My salary's 45 a week and how do you like that?

Anne Murdock:
Don't you suppose I know what this business game is for a girl? It's about as fair as a marriage game. Catch as catch can and anything goes!

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
I got a glimpse of her once, out on the beach.

Anne Murdock:
Did you really?

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
Yes. Her knees are perfect. Don't forget, Anne, her knees are magnificent.

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
Miss Murdock, he wants you.

Anne Murdock:
Oh?

Mr. J.P. McGowan:
For, dictation purposes.

Mrs. Fellowes:
I don't suppose Larry ever thought to offer you a high ball?

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
She doesn't use them.

Mrs. Fellowes:
Oh, well, of course if you know that, but I'm sure you don't. I bet he didn't offer you one.

Anne Murdock:
I'll have some tea later.

Mrs. Fellowes:
Well, I suppose tea's alright if it works. Goodnight, my dear.

Anne Murdock:
Goodnight.

Mrs. Fellowes:
Oh, tell me Larry, are you coming to bed?

Lawrence 'Larry' Fellowes, also spelled Fellows:
Coming right now.

Mrs. Fellowes:
Righto.

Katherine:
Expect to console yourself with that washout?

Anne Murdock:
If I'd stuck to my own kind, in the first place, I wouldn't have gotten hurt.

Katherine:
Ted wants a parking space for a couple of babies and a free laundry. If you want to learn what the word lonesome is, take him on.