The Pagemaster

Richard Tyler:
[repeated line] This is not good. Definitely not good.

Mr. Dewey:
Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me, you're here for a special book.

Richard Tyler:
Uh, Mister...

Mr. Dewey:
Stop, stop stop, let me guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of... [starts speaking magically] a fantasy. Brave knights, mythical faeries, ferocious dragons.

Richard Tyler:
Look, all I want is...

Mr. Dewey:
[grabbing him and speaking excitedly] Adventure!! Of course, you're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.

Richard Tyler:
No, no. That's not it.

Mr. Dewey:
Horror. [speaking scarily while creeping toward him] Oh, horror. Evil demons, wretched monsters, haunted houses, graveya-a-rds. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. [back to normal voice] Your library card, please.

Adventure:
I knew it that! I don't know, I'm a Classic!

Fantasy:
Mm-hmm, a classic misprint.

Adventure:
Why, you old sea serpent! I'll rip out your pages, and use them for--! (slips off) OH NO! (falls to the ground) MAN OVERBOARD!

Richard Tyler:
(really freaking out) Do something!

Fantasy:
Hmm... (Gives you a blast of wand, then Adventure falls and crashed down) Oops. Ha, ha, I forget my wonders always work I fantasy section.

Richard Tyler:
Can't wish this the exit?

Horror:
So, I think I'm scaring it? He should swim right after eating you know, he'll get cramps.

Adventure:
Where did he go?

Richard Tyler:
Aaaahh! (The Whales movement)

Adventure:
Row! Row for your lives!

Richard Tyler:
[shrieking] 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! [he caughts with a Moby Dick]

Adventure:
Hold on tight--!

Richard Tyler, Horror, Fantasy, Adventure:
[bites off the boat] Waa-hooooooh!

Richard Tyler:
Aaaaaaaahhh--! [he fells down to the water and crashed] Me-me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me! [coughs in water] Guys! Where are you?!

Horror:
Can I have the olive? Whoa! [wine glass crashed] Uh-oh.

Adventure:
Now look what you've done!

Richard Tyler:
Horror, you are alive!

Skinny Pirate:
[using the gun with Horror] Not for long! Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!

Horror:
Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Adventure:
There goes me ticket out of here! Uh...

Crows Nest Pirate:
LAND HO! With the LAND HO!!!

Richard Tyler:
[on seeing the Pagemaster again] Hey! How did you get here!?

Fantasy:
[through her teeth] Quit it! We're in the presence of the Pagemaster!

Richard Tyler:
I know who he is. He's the one who did THIS [gesturing along his body] to me!! Do you have any idea what I've been through?!

Pagemaster:
Tell me.

Richard Tyler:
I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor!! I was made a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates. And eaten--got that, eaten--by a fire-breathing dragon!!

Horror:
He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it.

Richard Tyler:
And not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death!!

Pagemaster:
Yet you stand before me.

Richard Tyler:
Well, yeah.

Pagemaster:
Think, boy! What kind of an answer would you've had if I brought you here with the turn of a page?

[hologram of Mr. Hyde appears, then morphs into Jekyll]

Dr. Jekyll:
You prevailed over evil. [morphs into Captain Ahab]

Captain Ahab:
Ah, you looked Moby Dick in the eye, boy. [morphs into Long John Silver]

Long John Silver:
Ah, you got pirate stuff, me lad! An' don't let no one tell you different.

Pagemaster:
If I had brought you here from the start, you would've never had the courage to face your own fears. [hologram morphs into the Dragon] And in doing so, you triumph here... and always. [hologram shows Richard Tyler unconscious on the library's rotunda floor]

Fantasy:
[to Richard, angrily] What are you doing, grabbing my mouth and messing up my pantyhose? Hmph! Now I gotta straight out my Little Mermaid underwear.

Fantasy:
[notices the names carved on the wall of the gate] Dr. Jekyll? Mr. Hyde? (turns away) Must be a duplex.

Richard Tyler:
Whoa!

Adventure:
Go ahead, matey. I'm--I'm right behind ye. (Richard Tyler gasps, the trio walks onto the porch and stood behind the two doors of the house) [points the rope] Well, ring the bell.

Richard Tyler:
(panting) [Reaches for the rope, and gives a yank, making the bell chime loudly]

Horror:
[slipping off the roof of the house, falling down, and screaming, making Richard Tyler, Adventure and Fantasy look up] AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Richard Tyler:
[looks at Horror, disgusted] Huh?

Fantasy:
[flies back down to Richard] Good catch!

Richard Tyler:
(a little scared) H--here, take it!

Fantasy:
(blushing) Isn't he sweet? (makes kissing sounds) Muah-muah-muah-muah-muah.

Horror:
[looks at Richard Tyler] (little scared) Oh, I scared you. I'm sorry.

Fantasy:
You mustn't judge a book by its cover. [Horror makes a cheerful face]

Richard Tyler:
(confused) Uhhh...

Fantasy:
Look, he's smiling.

Horror:
[makes a smile, showing only a few teeth on his gum] Ha-ha!

Richard Tyler:
(grossed out) That's a smile?

Horror:
[singing] Sixteen men on a dead man's stomach.

Fantasy:
No, no! Chest! Chest!

Horror:
Oh, uh, chest. Chest. Ah, hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha! [singing] Yo, ho, ho! And a bottle of rum!

Richard Tyler:
Aah! Aaaaaah...!

Tom Morgan:
Evil spirits!

Horror:
Hee, hee! [jumping off the tree with a vine] SANCTUARY!! [knocks the pirates down, then landed on the ground] Huh!

Richard Tyler:
Horror, you are alive!

Tom Morgan:
[using the gun with Horror] Not for long! Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!

Horror:
Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Horror:
Ahoy, matey! Aye, we're lusty, adventurous men.

Adventure:
Go away. You don't know what you're talking about.

Horror:
I...I know I'm not your favorite kind of book, but I could be just like you.

[Adventure stops at his tracks, and yells angrily at Horror]

Adventure:
You'll never be Adventure! Ye ain't got the spine for it. And take that stupid thing off!

Horror:
[taking a bandana off his head] Sorry.

Adventure:
[muttering] Oh, he thinks he can be a pirate...

[Horror sighed with sadness, and walks away]

Richard Tyler:
Where's Horror? Wasn't he with you?

Adventure:
He was, but he...I mean, I sort of...uh..he, uh....

Fantasy:
[angrily] Ohh, what did you say to him now?!

Adventure:
Well, I--I...I just...uh, I'll go find him.

Fantasy:
Yeah, you better go find him. And be quick about it!

[Adventure saves the unconscious Horror, who was tied to the ground by little people]

Adventure:
He had a good heart, and he was braver than ye knew. I...I'd walk the plank if I thought it would bring ye back.

Horror:
[wakes up] That's beautiful.

Richard Tyler:
Wow! Look at this place!

Horror:
It's so purdy. I could be misshelved here for a long time.

Adventure:
Happyland.

[First lines during the opening scene]

Claire Tyler:
[offscreen; in bed] Alan, every ten-year-old is afraid of something.

Alan Tyler:
[offscreen; in bed] The kid's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches.

Claire Tyler:
Mercury levels in the tuna.

Alan Tyler:
Whatever.

Claire Tyler:
Alan, the world is a frightening place to him right now. I think we could be a little more supportive.

Alan Tyler:
Supportive? I'm the most supportive father on earth, but I'm running out of supportive things to do. I signed him up for Little League, he drove everybody crazy with statistics about how you can develop tumors from being hit in the head with a ball. [offscreen] Did you know that shin splints can lead to blood clots in the legs? Claire, he brought in a medical journal. Nobody wanted to play after that. And now I'm building him a tree house, in a tree he refuses to climb.

[while Alan says the last sentence above, Claire turns on a light and he looks at the treehouse on a dark and stormy night]

Claire Tyler:
You know he hates heights.

Alan Tyler:
I don't know. I just want to be a good father.

Claire Tyler:
But you are a good father.

Richard Tyler:
Can't argue with statistics, Dad.

Alan Tyler:
Statistics. Here's something you can do: go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these.

Richard Tyler:
But, Dad...

Alan Tyler:
Son, you can't live your life based on statistics. You've gotta take some chances. Now come on, Buddy.

Alan Tyler:
[with a five-dollar-bill] You can do this.

[Alan gives money to Richard. His mother Claire releases him and joins her father in unison]

Richard Tyler:
[Leaving his parents behind] This is not good. Definately not good.

Fantasy:
(shocked) Dr... Jekyll? Dr. J?

Mr. Hyde:
(his face is covered with both hands) My name is... (reveals his scary face to the camera) Mr. HYDE!!! (Richard and the books react in fright)

[At night, the Tyler's parent car arrives home]

Claire Tyler:
[In car] I can't imagine where he could be. Maybe we should call the police.

Claire Tyler:
[Gasps as the car parks in front of Richard's bicycle, lying down] Alan!

[the car stops]

Claire Tyler:
[Gets out] He's home!

[Alan gets out]

Claire Tyler Alan.

Alan Tyler:
[sees Richard in the treehouse] It's impossible.

[Alan goes up into the treehouse]

Alan Tyler:
Rich?

Claire Tyler [Goes up into the treehouse and takes Richard's signature glasses] We probably should put him in his bed.

Alan Tyler:
Let's let him sleep up here tonight.

[Claire goes down, as Alan uses the coat as a blanket for Richard]

Alan Tyler:
[turning off a lantern] Love you, Richie.

[Alan goes down the treehouse. Alan & Claire goes inside the house]

Alan Tyler:
Good night, son.

Richard Tyler:
Dad, 8% of all household accidents involve ladders, another 3% involve trees. We're looking at another 30% probability here.

Richard Tyler:
You guys are the only friends I've ever had.

Richard Tyler:
Thanks, but I have already a family. I really should be getting home now.

Richard Tyler:
I lost my library card. I can't check anybody out. We'll never get to the exit now.

Richard Tyler:
I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor, made into a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten-- got that? --eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!

Richard Tyler:
[new catchphrase] Good. That was definitely good.

Man:
May I assist you in some way? [Suddenly, Richard and his friends aren't so frightened anymore]

Fantasy:
Hello, Mr.--

Man:
Doctor. Doctor Jekyll.

Richard:
Well, sir, we did ring the bell.....

Horror:
It's all my fault. I was trying to help them find their road to the other side of the house.

Dr. Jekyll:
The other side? [Richard nods. Dr. Jekyll places his arm around Richard and leads him deeper into the house] My boy, I derive no pleasure in warning you that you are in extreme danger.

Richard:
Danger?

Dr. Jekyll:
Even as we speak, lurking in this room waiting to strike are forces of evil.

[Dr. Jekyll leads Richard past a broken mirror and beyond a musty staircase. Then they come upon a laboratory table filled with test tubes and flasks of bubbling potions]

Dr. Jekyll:
Every man has possessed of both good and evil. But enough of that. Anyone care for a drink?

[With that said, Dr. Jekyll pours a test tube of bubbling potion into a wine glass. Then he gulps it down in a single swallow]

[A second later, Dr. Jekyll lets out a loud, anguished shriek. He clutches his throat in pain. He throws his glass on the floor and the remaining potion spills out. It is so powerful it burns a large hole right through the wooden planks of the floor. Dr. Jekyll stumbles and grabs Richard for support]

[Richard tries to break free, but Dr. Jekyll's grip is too strong. Now Dr. Jekyll's hands are beginning to change. They are growing bigger and hairier]

Fantasy:
Dr. Jekyll? Dr. J?

[Dr. Jekyll lets go of Richard. Then he turns around. Fantasy gulps. Dr. Jekyll's face has also changed. His nice white teeth has become long, yellow fangs. His skin has turned gray. His eyes have turned a fiery red]

Mr. Hyde:
My name...is Mr. Hyde!

[Suddenly, Mr. Hyde takes a swipe at them with his cane. Everyone is terrified. Horror jumps to the top of a hanging chandelier for safety. But his weight causes the chandelier to pull off the ceiling and smash toward Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde swipes at Horror, but topples backwards and plummets through the hole that has been burned in the floor, dragging the chandelier and Horror along with him]

Adventure:
The stairs, mateys! The stairs! [It's their only chance to escape]

Horror:
Help, Master! Don't leave me! That's no way to treat a library book. Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Sanctuary! [Horror is trapped in the chandelier pleading for help. The chandelier is being pulled deeper and deeper into the hole by a cackling Mr. Hyde, who is dangling at the end of his chain]

Fantasy:
You have to help Him.

[But Richard is too afraid to move. Then Fantasy flies over to Horror and using her wand like a blowtorch, untangles him from the chandelier forcing them to head upstairs to the roof, as all around him are sounds of clanking chains, moanings and lamentings]]

Richard:
What's going on?

Horror:
Ghost Stories.

Live-Action:
Macaulay Culkin as Richard Tyler

Live-Action:
Christopher Lloyd as Mr. Dewey

Live-Action:
Ed Begley, Jr. and Mel Harris as Alan and Claire Tyler