The Peanut Butter Solution

Student:
[about Mikey's hair] Sir, it's moving!

Teacher:
It's not moving; it's just too long.

Michael:
It was short this morning.

Teacher:
Nonsense! What kind of a dodo do you take me for? Human hair grows only half an inch a month, no more.

Michael:
Not my hair, Sir.

Sergio:
[to a group of children he has kidnapped] Quiet! Or I'll put you in the net!

Principal:
I found out that you've been kicked out of two schools, that you've faked famous paintings, and that you've changed your name and appearance four times. AND you claim to be Rembrandt's great-great-great-great grandson.

Sergio:
I am a great teacher. I am a great artist. I am a great-great-great-GREAT GRANDSON! Paris, Milano, Veroncia!