The President's Analyst

Sullivan, FBR Agent:
Don't say "Chinks". Say "Chinese restaurant". "Chinks" is bigoted.

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
Logic is on our side: this isn't a case of a world struggle between two divergent ideologies, of different economic systems. Every day your country becomes more socialistic, my country becomes more capitalistic. Pretty soon we will meet in the middle and join hands. No, my dear doctor; you're going to defect because you want to live.

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
What now?

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
We blow the main power supply.

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
Ok. What kind of time does that give us before the emergency power comes on?

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
Ten, maybe twelve minutes. We've gotta rush.

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
If we don't, what?

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
We're going to have to kill our way out, okay? Shall we rescue our doctor?

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
Yeah. If I don't resume my analysis pretty soon, I'm gonna flip out.

Henry Lux, FBR Chief:
Poppycock!

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
You know, one thing I learned from my patients... they all hate the phone company. It's interesting; even the stock holders of the phone company hate the phone company!

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
I know. Bedouins hate the phone company. Matter of fact, I've never been in a country where everybody didn't hate the phone company.

FBR agent:
What should we do, Sullivan?

Sullivan, FBR Agent:
I don't know, Carter. They'll be back before we can hit enough places. We better wait here.

Bing Quantrill:
Are you going to kill Dr. Schaefer?

Sullivan, FBR Agent:
Yes son, we're going to kill him.

Bing Quantrill:
Oh boy!

Nan Butler:
[indicating blinking red alarm light] What's that all about?

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
It's him! He needs me.

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
I'm a CEA agent.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
[rises from desk, walks over to read ID card] You ARE a CEA agent. And you really did kill someone!

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
Ahhummm.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
Fascinating, Don... I suppose it's the conditioning of motion pictures, or television, or maybe it's just it's the times we live in, but... killing is serious business, yet this little card makes it somehow less shocking... acceptable in a way! You mean to say you can actually legally kill someone?

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
Yeah, and it bothers me sometimes that I don't feel guilty about it. Don't you think that's psychotic behavior?

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
No I don't! It explains your utter lack of hostility. You can vent your aggressive feelings by actually killing people! It's a sensational solution to the hostility problem.

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
Doctor, are you trying to tell me it's all right to kill people?

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
It's simply a moral question. Morality is a social invention, and in this case society has decided it's not only acceptable for certain people to kill other people... it's even commendable. Don! I've got to write a paper for the Institute on this!

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
I don't think the CEA would like that.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
If I was a psychiatrist, which I am, I would say that I was turning into some sort of paranoid personality, which I am!

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
Are you trying to tell me every phone in the country is tapped?

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
That's what's in my head.

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
Don, this is America, not Russia!

Don Masters, CEA Agent:
I was five. And I knew there were colored people and white people. But then Mama took me to school, and it was almost all white kids. And nothing much happened on the first day. But on the second day, I was walking to school alone - my big brother, he was already in the third grade, and when you got a kid brother in kindergarten it can be kind of an embarrassment. So he ran on ahead to be with his buddies. Anyhow, there was a group of white kids on the street up ahead, and as I came up they started laughing and running and yelling, "Run! Run! Here comes the n*gger! Run, run!" [softly:] Here comes the n*gger. And I looked around, and I didn't see any n*ggers. But if they wanted to play, so did I. So I started laughing and running and yelling, "Run, run! Here comes the n*gger!" [Whispered:] Run, run. Here comes the n*gger. Suddenly there was my big brother. And I ran up to him, and I started yelling, "Run, run, here comes the n*gger!" And he hit me. Then he did something worse - he told me what a n*gger was.

V.I. Kydor Kropotkin:
Look, you want to save the world? You're the great humanitarian? Take the gun!

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
[firing machine gun] Take that you hostile son of a b*tch!

Bing Quantrill:
Hey, Dad. You want the Magnum .357 in the house?

Wynn Quantrill:
Darn it, Bing. I told you not to play around with my guns. No, I do not want that in the house. That is my car gun. My house gun is already in the house. Now, put that back in the glove compartment, and don't let me catch you fooling with my guns again.

Bing Quantrill:
I'm sorry, Dad.

Wynn Quantrill:
Great kid.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
I thought you said you were an accountant.

Wynn Quantrill:
I am.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
Why do you have all these guns around, then?

Wynn Quantrill:
You know.

Ethan Allen Cocket, CEA Director:
[defending Dr. Schaefer's right to keep his girlfriend] My dear Mister Lux, no man is an island; most of us require the warmth of human companionship.

Henry Lux, FBR Chief:
Poppycock!

Jeff Quantrill:
Now be a good boy and enjoy your heritage.

Wynn Quantrill:
We've both done weekend picketing. [quietly] As a matter of fact, we sponsored the Negro doctor and his wife when they moved into the development.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
Well, the President will be very pleased to hear that.

Wynn Quantrill:
That's great. If I do say so, it took a little courage. The Bullocks next door? Real right-wingers. American flag up every day. Real fascists. Ought to be gassed. You know the type.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer:
These guns. Karate. Why?

Wynn Quantrill:
The right wing extremists. Disarm them and us liberals will disarm.