The Private Life of Samuel Pepys

[Pepys is in the dock]

Samuel Pepys:
[to camera] And what have they accused me of? Spying for the French and taking bribes. I never spied for the French.

Samuel Pepys:
They say that when we get to Heaven's gate, St. Peter gives us a book in which all our sins are written. I seem to have done his job for him.

Betty Bagwell:
Have you never seen a woman naked?

Samuel Pepys:
It's just like in the paintings.

Betty Bagwell:
But without one of them cherubs in just the wrong place.