The Purchase Price

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
Ya daffy little tahmata, I'm bugs about ya. I'd marry ya myself, if I wasn't already married.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
I've been up and down Broadway since I was fifteen years old. I'm fed up with hoofing in shows. I'm sick of night clubs, hustlers, bootleggers, chislers, and smart guys. I've heard all the questions and I know all the answers. And I've kept myself... fairly respectable through it all. The whole atmosphere of this street gives me a high-powered headache. I've got a chance to breathe something else, and boy, I'm grabbing it.

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
Pick up the marbles, hon, you win.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
[Hands him some jewelry] By the way, here's a couplea trinkets I want to return to you. Might as well do it now.

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
Sure you don't want to keep this hardware?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Positive. [Reaches into a drawer, takes out a key, and hands it to him]

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
All through playing house?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
All through, Eddie. Thanks.

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
Well, so long kid. It was swell while it lasted.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
[Almost smiling, softly] Yeah. [Eddie turns and leaves]

[Four ladies, including our heroine, Joan, are headed west on a train. Three of them are comparing notes on their mail-order husbands while snacking. Joan is not participating]

Queenie, Girl on Train:
[Looking at a picture] Oh, yours has got bushy eyebrows; he'll tickle ya every time he kisses ya.

Woman on Train #2:
[Talking with her mouth full] I don't care [giggles] as long as he kisses me. [the three of them laugh riotously, while Joan looks annoyed]

Queenie, Girl on Train:
[Leaning forward, holding a banana up to her mouth] You know what they say about men with bushy eyebrows and a long nose?

Woman on Train #2:
[Pushes Queenie back, and forcing the banana halfway down her throat] Aw, Queenie, I can tell you've been married before! [the three women cackle and continue eating, while Joan tries to ignore them]

Woman on Train #3:
Mine's got a Buick, and a Ford, and an Indian squaw to do heavy work.

Queenie, Girl on Train:
Aw, that ain't nuthin'. Mine's got a radio and a bathroom with runnin' water. I think it's in the picture he sent me.

Woman on Train #2:
Did he send a picture of himself *in* the bath? [the three of them crack up again. Joan rolls her eyes]

Queenie, Girl on Train:
[to Joan] Say, has yours got plumbin'? Or is it one of them farmhouses, ya know, with a telephone booth in the back yard?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
I don't know.

Woman on Train #3:
She don't know? Can ya tie that?

Queenie, Girl on Train:
Oh well, she won't be so almighty calm when it's forty below zero and she has to get up in the middle of the night. [She waves the stub of her banana triumphantly as the other two laugh]

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
Say, when a guy like him marries a doll like you, I'll kiss your... foot... in Macy's window at high noon.

Eddie 'Ed' Fields:
No college boy still wet behind the ears is going to bust us up.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
No be a good little boy and don't get yourself all in a lather.

Emily:
Gee, with a hundred dollars, maybe I could get myself a husband right here in town.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Of course, you could!

Emily:
And then I'd sort of, eh, have a chance to, try the goods before I bought it!

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Emily...

Elmer, the Justice of the Peace:
And by joining hands, I now pronounce that they are man and wife. Three dollars, please.

Bull McDowell:
Look at her blush! Colorin' up like a tomato.

Bull McDowell:
How do you enjoy married life?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Oh, it's alright.

Bull McDowell:
Nothing like it, after you get used to it. I've been married and divorced twice; so, I ought to know.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Isn't love the one thing you don't have to earn?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Have you ever heard a woman scream?

Jim Gilson:
No.

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Well, you're going to.

Jim Gilson:
Huh?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
'Cause I've been dying to do it for months. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
Jim! You've caught one of those terrible summer colds. Why, you'll have to take some quinine and some hot lemonade and a hot water bottle. And I'm going to put you right to bed! [Devilish smile followed by a kiss]