The Purchase Price1932

[Four ladies, including our heroine, Joan, are headed west on a train. Three of them are comparing notes on their mail-order husbands while snacking. Joan is not participating]

Queenie, Girl on Train:
[Looking at a picture] Oh, yours has got bushy eyebrows; he'll tickle ya every time he kisses ya.

Woman on Train #2:
[Talking with her mouth full] I don't care [giggles] as long as he kisses me. [the three of them laugh riotously, while Joan looks annoyed]

Queenie, Girl on Train:
[Leaning forward, holding a banana up to her mouth] You know what they say about men with bushy eyebrows and a long nose?

Woman on Train #2:
[Pushes Queenie back, and forcing the banana halfway down her throat] Aw, Queenie, I can tell you've been married before! [the three women cackle and continue eating, while Joan tries to ignore them]

Woman on Train #3:
Mine's got a Buick, and a Ford, and an Indian squaw to do heavy work.

Queenie, Girl on Train:
Aw, that ain't nuthin'. Mine's got a radio and a bathroom with runnin' water. I think it's in the picture he sent me.

Woman on Train #2:
Did he send a picture of himself *in* the bath? [the three of them crack up again. Joan rolls her eyes]

Queenie, Girl on Train:
[to Joan] Say, has yours got plumbin'? Or is it one of them farmhouses, ya know, with a telephone booth in the back yard?

Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue:
I don't know.

Woman on Train #3:
She don't know? Can ya tie that?

Queenie, Girl on Train:
Oh well, she won't be so almighty calm when it's forty below zero and she has to get up in the middle of the night. [She waves the stub of her banana triumphantly as the other two laugh]