The Quiet Earth

[Aiming a shotgun at a crucifix]

Zac Hobson:
If you don't come out I'll shoot the kid!

[recording his audio log]

Zac Hobson:
Zac Hobson, July 5th. One: there has been a malfunction in Project Flashlight with devastating results. Two: it seems I am the only person left on Earth.

Api:
You coming?

Joanne:
I wouldn't ride with you if you were the last man on Earth.

Api:
I'm workin' on it.

Zac Hobson:
I've been condemned to live.

[speaking to a cardboard cut-out of Adolf Hitler]

Zac Hobson:
Look, I haven't got time to talk to you, I'm a very busy man! Besides, you've had your turn...

Api:
You tell lies!

Joanne:
If we find anyone alive, what do you think they will be like?

Zac Hobson:
We might find all manner of horrors. Politicians... Transvestites...

Joanne:
God blinked, and the whole world disappeared.

Joanne:
Anything else sir?

Zac Hobson:
Ah... more crumpet?

Joanne:
Sorry, love crumpet's off. [She turns and leaves the room, revealing that she has cut the back of her skirt off showing her bare buttocks. Zac begins to get up to persue her but screams as he accidentally dumps his cup of hot coffee on his crotch]

[first lines]

Zac Hobson:
[trying to pay for gasoline] Hello... Hello... Hello?

Zac Hobson:
Do you know you're beautiful?

Joanne:
Hey, are you calling me stupid?

Zac Hobson:
I reckon the "effect" was a cosmic event, like the creation. And nobody's ever explained that properly.One the other hand, perhaps nobody disappeared. Only me. *I* am the "effect".

Joanne:
And us?

Zac Hobson:
You're not real. You're in my mind.

Joanne:
You're God.

Joanne:
You know, the interesting thing about friendships is, is that they're not logical. You know how somebody will come up to you and they'll ask you why do you like so and so, and you'll give them all these interesting reasons why you do. But you've actually made them up after you've decided you like them. I recon you decide that you like somebody in the two seconds that you meet them - you stick to it regardless. So, if you like them, you're gonna find good things in all the bad things they do, and if you don't, you're gonna find bad things in all the good things they do, ay?

Joanne:
The other thing is, you tend to like people that like you.

Api:
And what did you decide about me?

Joanne:
[just smiles]

Api:
Guess you like me.

Zac Hobson:
I recon the "effect" was a cosmic event, like the creation. And nobody's ever explained that properly.One the other hand, perhaps nobody disappeared. Only me. *I* am the "effect".

Joanne:
And us?

Zac Hobson:
You're not real. You're in my mind.

Joanne:
You're God.

Joanne:
You know, the interesting thing about friendships is, is that they're not logical. You know how somebody will come up to you and they'll ask you why do you like so and so, and you'll give them all these interesting reasons why you do. But you've actually made them up after you've decided you like them. I reckon you decide that you like somebody in the two seconds that you meet them - you stick to it regardless. So, if you like them, you're gonna find good things in all the bad things they do, and if you don't, you're gonna find bad things in all the good things they do, ay?

Joanne:
The other thing is, you tend to like people that like you.

Api:
And what did you decide about me?

Joanne:
[just smiles]

Api:
Guess you like me.

Zac Hobson:
Something's changed. Can't quite measure it, but I can feel it. It's as though... we've been shifted sideways. The north pole is still up north, but the water keeps going down the black hole the wrong way. I get the feeling... we're either dead... or in a different universe.