The Raven

Dr. Craven:
You'll need something to protect you from the cold.

[Dr. Bedloe reaches for a glass of wine]

Dr. Craven:
No, I meant clothes!

Dr. Bedloe:
Oh.

Rexford Bedlo:
I am Dr. Bedloe's son!

Dr. Bedloe:
I am sorry...

Dr. Scarabus:
Afraid my dear? There's nothing to be afraid of.

Dr. Craven:
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, / Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. / While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, / As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door./ "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door. / Only this and nothing more."

Dr. Scarabus:
I'm always fascinated by your utter lack of scruples.

[Craven and Bedloe toast each other with wine after Bedloe's complete transformation back to human]

Dr. Bedloe:
A little unexpected what happened down there, huh?

Dr. Craven:
Yes, it was most unexpected. I-I just don't understand why should my father return from the dead and then tell me to beware... of what?

Dr. Bedloe:
I wish I knew, I-I-I-I wish I knew.

[Bedloe mistakenly picks up a glass of milk and drinks]

Dr. Bedloe:
Uh, that milk!

Dr. Craven:
Oh I am sorry.

Dr. Bedloe:
In any case I have to return to the castle of Dr. Scarabus tonight.

Dr. Craven:
Oh no, sir, please, I beg you, I implore you. Don't go back there.

Dr. Bedloe:
But he has confiscated all my magical equipment and I want revenge.

Dr. Craven:
But he is too powerful.

Dr. Bedloe:
Then come with me.

Dr. Craven:
No. No I want nothing to do with him. Nothing at all.

[Estelle enter her room. Rexford is hiding behind the door and covers her mouth to prevent her from screaming]

Rexford Bedlo:
Shhhhhh.

[Estell struggles with a muffled scream]

Rexford Bedlo:
I was afraid you would scream.

[he uncovers her mouth and releases his grip on her]

Estelle Craven:
Is anything wrong?

Rexford Bedlo:
Don't be alarmed but I'm afraid Dr. Scarabus killed my father.

Estelle Craven:
Killed him?

Rexford Bedlo:
Yes, during the dueling I observed Dr. Scarabus making furtive gestures with his fingers. Now we must speak to your father.

Estelle Craven:
But I already have. He trusts Dr. Scarabus.

Rexford Bedlo:
We'll have to try.

[they return to the door but it won't open]

Rexford Bedlo:
It's locked!

Estelle Craven:
What'll we do?

[Rexford looks around the room and goes to the window, opens it and looks out]

Estelle Craven:
What are you doing?

Rexford Bedlo:
This ledge leads to your father's room.

Estelle Craven:
But you might be killed!

Rexford Bedlo:
I hope not!

[he exits through the window]

Estelle Craven:
[Estelle, Dr. Craven, Dr. Bedloe and Rexford are all bound to columns in the dungeon] Can't you get your hands free father?

Dr. Craven:
I'm afraid not, my dear. What with Dr. Scarabus having turned me into a statue and then binding me like this.

Dr. Bedloe:
I know I-I know I'm a disgrace.

Rexford Bedlo:
I had a somewhat stronger word in mind.

Dr. Bedloe:
But son, you know that-that everything I tried in life I was a failure. Only-only the day I joined the Brotherhood of Magicians. Oh I-I was the happiest man on earth. I still remember how happy I was. And then when-when Dr. Scarabus offered to teach me superior magical knowledge for luring Dr. Craven here, I just couldn't resist that magnificent award. But Erasamus, believe me with all my heart I regret what I have done to you.

Dr. Craven:
You are not alone in guilt, sir. I, too, have failed at the task of living.

Dr. Bedloe:
Oh, no.

Dr. Craven:
Oh yes, yes. Instead of facing life I turned my back on it. I know now why my father resisted Dr. Scarabus. Because he knew that one cannot fight evil by hiding from it. Men like Scarabus thrive on the apathy of others. He thrived on mine and that offends me. By avoiding contact with the brotherhood I've given him freedom to commit his atrocities, unapposed.

Dr. Bedloe:
You sure have!

Dr. Craven:
I'm sorry.

[last lines]

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] Erasamus, now that Dr. Scarabus is out of the way, we've got to make immediate plans for your assumption of the grand mastership. I'll glady act as your liaison so-so you won't be bothered having to present your case personally to the brotherhood. Later on I'll be happy to assume the post of super numeri secretary dispencer.

Dr. Craven:
Dr. Bedloe.

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] Yes?

Dr. Craven:
Do you really think such treachery can be so easily forgiven and forgotten?

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] Treachery! I saved all your lives!

Dr. Craven:
After having put them in jeopardy in the first place.

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] That's beside the point. Very well, if that's the way you feel about it, kindly return me to my rightful form and I'll leave.

Dr. Craven:
Well, I'll, uh, I'll take it under advisement.

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] Take it under advisement? Well really! Who do you think you are talking to anyway?

Dr. Craven:
Up.

[Craven points a finger upwards]

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] What's that?

Dr. Craven:
Up!

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] Now wait a minute Erasamus!

Dr. Craven:
Up!

Dr. Bedloe:
Really!

[Dr. Bedloe flies to the head of a bust]

Dr. Bedloe:
I never heard of such ingratitude in my entire life. It's getting so you can't trust anybody anymore. I'm just too sweet and gentle, that's my problem!

Dr. Craven:
Dr. Bedloe.

Dr. Bedloe:
What is it?

Dr. Craven:
Shut your beak! Quoth the raven, nevermore.

[Craven and Bedloe enter the family crypt. It is full of dust and spider webs]

Dr. Bedloe:
Hard place to keep clean, huh?

Dr. Craven:
Yes, I very seldom get down here.

[Craven begins to unseal the coffin of his father as Bedloe brushes dust from the coffin lid]

Dr. Craven:
Thank you.

[Craven opens the coffin lid, he loses his grip and it falls, smashing Bedloe's wing]

Dr. Bedloe:
Owwww!

Dr. Craven:
I'm sorry.

[Craven opens the coffin lid and looks at his father's corpse]

Dr. Craven:
. Forgive me, Papa.

[Craven snips some of his father's hair. Roderick Craven's corpse reaches up and grabs Craven by the front of his shirt collar]

Roderick Craven:
Beee-waaare!

[Craven breaks free of his father's grasp and clutches his throat]

Dr. Bedloe:
What did he say?

Dr. Craven:
He told me to-to beware.

Dr. Bedloe:
Of what?

Dr. Craven:
I don't know.

Dr. Bedloe:
I suggest we better leave here, huh?

[Craven closes the coffin lid and they turn to leave]

Dr. Bedloe:
Don't forget my hair! Come on, hurry up!

[Craven picks up the hair, they turn to leave and his father's corpse groans again]

Roderick Craven:
Beee-waaare!

Lenore Craven:
You sly old thing you.

[she carresses Scarabus' jaw]

Lenore Craven:
And what was his price?

[referring to Dr. Bedloe]

Dr. Bedloe:
Who, mine? A double value. Superior magical knowledge and through my death by lightning, freedom from overbearing women.

Lenore Craven:
Well worth the cost of being turned into an insignificant bird.

Dr. Scarabus:
To say nothing of luring Dr. Craven to me, don't forget that, my love.

Lenore Craven:
I can't imagine why you want him here.

Dr. Scarabus:
It's not Craven I want, it's his magic.

Dr. Craven:
[to the raven] Are you some dark-winged messenger from beyond? Answer me, monster, tell me truly! Shall I ever hold again the radiant maiden whom the angels call Lenore?

Dr. Bedloe:
[as the raven] How the hell should I know? What am I, a fortune teller?, Ooh, I'm chilled to the bones, why don't you get me some wine... well just don't stand there gaping at me!

Dr. Craven:
That voice... I

Dr. Bedloe:
[Interrupting him] Will you give me some wine?

Dr. Craven:
Yes, yes,

[offering him a chalice]

Dr. Craven:
Here's some nice hot milk.

Dr. Bedloe:
Milk? How vomitable!

Dr. Craven:
Surely this is a dream.

Dr. Bedloe:
Hurry up, will you!

[flies onto the table]

Dr. Craven:
There you are

Dr. Bedloe:
What do you expect me to do hold it? With what? Oh, never mind!

[flies onto his shoulder and drinks from the chalice]

Dr. Bedloe:
Mmm. I like that. Mmmm!

[burps]

Dr. Craven:
[watching Dr. Bedloe as a raven drinking from the chalice] Why pardon my soul!

Dr. Bedloe:
Never mind your soul Start concentrating on getting me back to my rightful form!

Dr. Craven:
Your rightful form?

Dr. Bedloe:
Well, what do you think I was born this way?

Dr. Craven:
Well, I-I have it you are under an enchantment!

Dr. Bedloe:
Took you long enough to find that out!

[flies onto a chair]

Dr. Bedloe:
Lets get to work. Well, go ahead, do something!

Dr. Craven:
But what?

Dr. Bedloe:
Restore me to my rightful form.

Dr. Craven:
But I just don't know how.

Dr. Bedloe:
Oh no. Well, do you got some dried blood of a bat in the house?

Dr. Craven:
I beg your pardon.

Dr. Bedloe:
Bat's blood! Dried or evaporated bat's blood.

Dr. Craven:
No.

Dr. Bedloe:
How about some chain links from a gallow's burg? Jellied spiders, rabbit's blood, dead man's hair?

Dr. Craven:
No, we don't keep those things in this house. We're vegetarians

Dr. Bedloe:
And that calls himself a magician. Honestly this is too much!