The Secret Laughter of Women

Nimi Da Silva:
Mama, why am I always a cow in your proverbs?

Sammy:
Are you brave?

Matthew Field:
What? Well, sometimes.

Sammy:
Are you honest?

Matthew Field:
Brutally.

Sammy:
But are you romantic?

Matthew Field:
To a fault. Have you had breakfast?

Sammy:
You can't have breakfast at 4 o'clock.

Matthew Field:
I can do what I like.

Sammy:
Saracen, will you marry my mother?

[Matthew chuckles]

Sammy:
Will you be my good deed?

Matthew Field:
I'm much to busy to do that.

Sammy:
You don't have to do anything. I'll come and do things for you.

Matthew Field:
What on Earth could you possibly do for me? [he and Sammy just look at each other] I'll think about it, the next time you come.

Sammy:
Are you going to change?

Matthew Field:
Into what?

Sammy:
Your Saracen costume.

Matthew Field:
It itches.

Sammy:
What are you going to say to her?

Matthew Field:
Good afternoon, Mama Sammy.

Sammy:
Can't you think of anything more exciting than that?

Sammy:
[running into the church with Matthew] Mama! Mama! Look what I got for you!

Nimi Da Silva:
Let's walk on. People are staring.

Matthew Field:
Well, what do you expect? Satan walking you home from church.

Matthew Field:
[Sammy looks at a cute girl] Forget it. Bad sign, clog sandals. They're always followed by a father with a shotgun. [an angry looking man walks past] See?

Matthew Field:
How would you like it if I arranged to get her out?

Sammy:
She won't come.

Matthew Field:
I can put temptation in her way. What does she like?

Sammy:
You have to keep your room tidy.

Matthew Field:
As bad as that?

Sammy:
How do you write a Saracen story?

Matthew Field:
I start at the beginning and I know how I want it to end.

Sammy:
My teacher says...

Matthew Field:
Don't listen to him. He's a loser.

Nimi Da Silva:
What are you doing?

Matthew Field:
We're having a shootout.

Nimi Da Silva:
I don't approve of shooting or guns.

Matthew Field:
All right. We're playing men who go bang very loudly at one another. Is that all right with you?

Sammy:
[watching Nene and Mama Fola argue in proverbs] Why are they talking like that?

Nimi Da Silva:
Proverbs, to be polite.

Sammy:
It doesn't look very polite.

Sammy:
Matthew, what do you know about sex?

Matthew Field:
Well, uh, men and women are built... differently.

Sammy:
I know all that penis, vagina, rabbit business. I saw a video at Jean Claude's

Matthew Field:
Rabbit?

Sammy:
[referring to a discussion with his friend about sex] He says everyone does it.

Matthew Field:
Yep.

Sammy:
Everyone?

Matthew Field:
Uh-huh.

Sammy:
Even people I know?

Matthew Field:
Yes.

Sammy:
Even people who get married?

Matthew Field:
Especially people who get married.

[Sammy makes a face]

Matthew Field:
Tough one, I know.

Nimi Da Silva:
What are you doing in here?

Matthew Field:
Snooping.

Nimi Da Silva:
I've read your books. Saracen always "banging" and "screwing" and "nailing." That's not sex. That's carpentry.

Nene:
The lessons you don't teach him, life will teach him. And life's lessons are bitter.

Nimi Da Silva:
We're all right Sammy and I. But I'll beat him later if it will make you happy.

Nene:
Why are you not married?

Nimi Da Silva:
If it matters so much to you, you find me a husband.

Nene:
What kind of husband? Foolish antelope?

Nimi Da Silva:
Honest enough to take on Sammy and me. And brave enough to know the truth. And if he's romantic as well, I'll marry him tomorrow.

Sammy:
Don't you wonder what it would be like to live in the twenty-fifth century?

Nimi Da Silva:
Sweet Potato, I wonder what it would be like to live in the twentieth century.

Sammy:
You remember "Come end my eternal loneliness. Let us surf Orion on my cosmic chariot."

Matthew Field:
Definitely one of my earlier efforts.

Matthew Field:
Hello, Sam.

Sammy:
Are you mad at me too?

Matthew Field:
No. Why? Should I be?