The Secret Show

Professor Professor:
I don't want to be sieved, I don't want to be sieved I like being loved.

Victor Volt:
[Victor and Anita are falling to the ground helplessly while attempting to contact Professor Professor] I'll call him.

Anita Knight:
I'm sure we did this before!

Victor Volt:
You only get to do the 'the once!"

Professor Professor:
Patty cake patty cake baker's man bake me a strudel as fast you can.

Changed Daily:
Good afternoon team as you know my name for reasons of security is Changed Daily. Today you may call me... oh, Patty Cake.

Anita Knight:
Patty Cake.

Victor Volt:
Patty Cake.

Professor Professor:
Baker's man bake me a strudel as fast as you can. Did you see what I did waha ha ha ha ha.

Doctor Doctor:
Victory is mine!

Changed Daily:
So Doctor Doctor made a clean escape but at least it's a sunny day.

Professor Professor:
And we haves the remote control.

Victor Volt:
Uhh... umm... I... uhh

Anita Knight:
Victor you do have it don't you?

Victor Volt:
Yes! A moment ago.

Professor Professor:
Check down the sides of the chairs.

Changed Daily:
This always happens to me at home.

Victor Volt:
[he sits down on his chair and the lights dim] Ah.

Changed Daily:
Oh.

Changed Daily:
Mind my knick knacks.

Changed Daily:
Code apricot, code apricot theres been a terrible breach in security!

Changed Daily:
[Professor Professor is holding a ball in the shape of an imposter's eye] Shouldn't you examine that thing under laboratory controlled conditions?

Professor Professor:
Ah... Nahhh! [the ball is set off and they've become encased in ice]

Ray:
[in the head of the quarters of U.Z.Z. Ray is met by spikes of ice coming out of the floor] Oh no.

Ray:
Victor, Anita the impostors have exploded an ice maker device in Polly Wally Dolly's office. It was shaped like an imposter's eye.

Victor Volt:
Maybe that's what was in the boxes.

Victor Volt:
Is everyone okay?

Ray:
Oh, they'll be fine. But it's imperative you find those frozen eyes out there.

Anita Knight:
We're done for.

Professor Professor:
[Changed Daily and Professor Professor are navigating through an ice maze. Whilst pushing Changed Daily's mantle piece to heat the ice on the way] Thank goodness for your mantle piece. Oh look Polly Wally Dolly there's Ray.

Changed Daily:
Oh good he can help push.

Ray:
[Ray becomes unthawed from his icy prison and released landing on top of Changed Daily's mantle Piece] Thanks Polly Wally Dolly.

Ray:
Roger that. Activating submarine mode.

Professor Professor:
Ohhh I love submarine mode. Bing... a fish... bing... oh look a whale... bing... dive, dive, dive, aweeha! aweeha! Dive, dive, dive!

Ray:
Professor Professor we are diving.

Professor Professor:
Oh... goody.

Professor Professor:
There are running away.

Ray:
Something terrible must be going on down there plumbers don't scare easily.

Ray:
Plumbers are coming out of the ground all over the place.

Changed Daily:
Quick book one for next Thursday.

Changed Daily:
Oh, it's only Monday.

Professor Professor:
Victor what have you done? We have the whole ocean bearing down on us.

Victor Volt:
Oh c'mon why do you always assume it was me ssshhh.

Ray:
Let's get out of here.

Victor Volt:
This is some rescue Professor Professor.

Professor Professor:
First he pulls the lever then he complains.

Professor Professor:
Brrr chilly where did I put my mittens?

Professor Professor:
This new ice age is such fun!

Changed Daily:
And the drip has stopped excellent.

Anita Knight:
I've got a penguin and I'm not afraid to use it.

Victor Volt:
What now Professor Professor?

Professor Professor:
Now we slingshot the earth around the sun. Re ignite the earth's core und melt the ice age at the same time.

Victor Volt:
Your crazy!

Ray:
Core temperature raising.

Professor Professor:
Reaching maximum velocity.

Victor Volt:
We're getting too close!

Ray:
Core temperature at seventy, seventy!

Victor Volt:
We're going too fast!

Professor Professor:
Stay on target.

Victor Volt:
We're gonna crash into the sun!

Ray:
Core temperature at a hundred!

Professor Professor:
Core re ignited slingshot! slingshot!

Victor Volt:
It's an impossible task, how can you search the world in an instant!

Ray:
Easy.

Professor Professor:
I beg your pardon agent Ray.

Ray:
Anyone check the net?

Victor Volt:
The net?

Ray:
[he types in his query] Ball of spong, ah here it is.

Victor Volt:
Here it is?

Ray:
Yep, exhibit two, three, nine slash B in the plundered room of the British museum.

Professor Professor:
Where is it coming from?

Victor Volt:
We can't tell.

Professor Professor:
You can tell me.

Victor Volt:
That's not what I meant.

Anita Knight:
Why is... everyone in Helsinki... out to get us!

Victor Volt:
He knows I bet he knows.

Victor Volt:
Three hours.

Changed Daily:
And the world is free to say 'yes' and indeed 'no' without fear of turning into a zombie.

Victor Volt:
Smart move spotting that double word cheat Anita.

Anita Knight:
No problemo.

Professor Professor:
Correction there is a big problemo. "uhh, uhh" stops you from being a zombie, but every other double word turns you into one.

Changed Daily:
Hmmm, why's that Professor Professor? "Uhh, uhh" do something Professor Professor! "Uhh, uhh" Professor Professor! "Uhh, uhh" I feel like a yo yo! "Uhh, uhh" quick Professor Professor! "Uhh, uhh."

Victor Volt:
Oh boy.

Anita Knight:
One touch and your one of them.

Changed Daily:
[every agent in U.Z.Z. has gathered in the viewing theater for an update on the situation] The situation is grave. Zombies have now taken over... well every where.

Professor Professor:
[the viewing theater screen then pops up a map of locations infested with zombies] See there all over the place. Uhh, uhh... uhh, uhh... uhh, uhh.

Changed Daily:
But first things first. For reasons of security my name's Changed Daily.

Professor Professor:
[he then interrupts him] Uhh, uhh.

Changed Daily:
Today! I will be known as... oh, Yummy Yummy Says My Tummy. [everyone in the viewing theater laughs] However there is no cause for alarm.

Doctor Doctor:
[on the viewing theater screen Doctor Doctor intercepts transmission] That's what you think.

Professor Professor:
Ah, that explains everything Doctor Doctor is behind it all!

Doctor Doctor:
Correct and now I've developed two zombifying code words. Say either word and you will be turned into a zombie.

Professor Professor:
What are the zombie code words Doctor Doctor?

Professor Professor:
Well if I told you that! They wouldn't be secret code words now would they?

Doctor Doctor:
She's got a point.

Victor Volt:
A robotic hamster who lent back on his off switch.

Anita Knight:
From hamster world I remember going there as a child.

Victor Volt:
Hey yeah me too! [they both begin to sing] It's a hamster world/ it's a hamster world/ it's a hamster, hamster world!

Changed Daily:
Ohhhh, no wonder he went mad. Is this the key?

Victor Volt:
[Anita and Victor say in unison] Yeah I think so. [then go back to singing]

Changed Daily:
Ah! No, no! Stop it!

Doctor Doctor:
[Doctor Doctor's whacking a coffee mug on Changed Daily's mantle piece] Tell me what I want to know or I'll give it another mug ring!

Changed Daily:
Do your worst! You won't get the code from me you afious heridan!

Doctor Doctor:
Oh yes I will!

Changed Daily:
Oh no you won't!

Doctor Doctor:
Yes I will!

Changed Daily:
No you won't!

Doctor Doctor:
Will!

Changed Daily:
Won't!

Doctor Doctor:
Ohhh! [she breaks the coffee mug on the mantle piece]

Ray:
Emergency alpha! Base in free fall!

Changed Daily:
You will succeed!

Professor Professor:
Congratualtions special agent Ray. This end of the world comtometer you built during your lunch break is just the ticket.

Ray:
Oh, well, thanks Professor Professor. Wait until the end of the world. At the top I added fireworks.

Professor Professor:
I look forward to seeing them. What a jelly end of the world it will be... eh heh.

Bim the Clown:
Ha ha ha and when I rule the world not just the people. But all the buldings will wear curly hats too and you will have to say bim in every sentence. For bim is a happy word.

Changed Daily:
Victor I just received your text message. Are you sure he's no threat to the world?

Bim the Clown:
When I rule the world school concerts will never last more than an hour, bim.

Victor Volt:
Aha! Are you kidding there is no way, no way on earth. That, that clown is ever gonna take over the planet! Ha trust me.

Changed Daily:
[back at headquarters a curly hat is on top of the base. When in the drawing room Changed Daily is also seen wearing a curly hat] Trust you said Bim the Clown! Has taken over the bim planet!

Professor Professor:
Okay let's get outs there and give it to them with everythings we got left! While we still got some of what we've got left to give it to them with!

Changed Daily:
That's the ticket!

Bobby Baron:
This is almost the best birthday present I could've asked for.

Victor Volt:
Almost? What's the best present?

Bobby Baron:
For my dad to stop doing things for me and do things with me. I know he loves me, but I wish he'd just listen to me. All I want is for someone to listen...

Victor Volt:
Shhhh can anyone else hear violin music?

Professor Professor:
Mr. Baron? What is the purpose of your midnight fiddling?

Robert Baron:
You're a devilishly attractive woman, Priscila Priscila and this is, my small way of thanking you. For being such a good mother to Bobby if only for tonight.

Professor Professor:
[he catches onto Robert Baron and contacts Changed Daily through his communicator. Disguised as a compact face powder] Oh dear, Patty Cake, Patty Cake come in. I believes that Robert is putting the moves on me.

Changed Daily:
Excellent play along.

Professor Professor:
What!

Changed Daily:
It will give Anita and Victor time to access the secret room.

Professor Professor:
Oh, if I must.

Ray:
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Pass please.

Victor Volt:
Pass.

Ray:
Pass.

Victor Volt:
Oh no pass... eh c'mon I just did the eye thing, even the mom thing. I mean do I really I mean Ra...

Ray:
It's a code red you don't pass without a pass.

Anita Knight:
[flashes her I.D. badge] Morning.

Ray:
Thanks ma'am.

Victor Volt:
Buddy old friend it's Victor. How long have I known you Roy?

Ray:
Ray.

Victor Volt:
Ray. Five years, ten? You gonna throw that away, Ray?

Ray:
Look... it's not about...

Victor Volt:
If we had kids they'd play together did you know that Ray?

Ray:
Would they?

Victor Volt:
Best friends! [he kneels on bended knee and says in a kids voice] Why didn't Uncle Ray let you into work daddy? [he stands up to face the imaginary kid] I don't know son. [he kneels again] Doesn't uncle Ray love me anymore? [he stands up again] No son I, I don't think he does.

Ray:
Hey, hey Victor I, I, didn't mean to...

Victor Volt:
[he pretends to hug his imaginary kid] Upset our kids?

Ray:
I'm sorry Victor I...

Victor Volt:
Tickle, tickle tickle... tickle, tickle. I love ya big guy!

Ray:
Ha, oh okay. Just this once.

Victor Volt:
Can I, can I go, can I go?

Ray:
Go on get out of here.

Victor Volt:
Thanks Ray your one in a million ha ha. Say hi to Julie!

Ray:
Yeah I!... Who's Julie? That guy he's a one in a million that Victor.

Victor Volt:
[the real Victor Volt flashes his I.D. badge] Hi Ray.

Ray:
Hi Victor... [he becomes panicky thinking of the person he let through]