The Simple Life

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Paris Hilton:
That's hot.

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Nicole Richie:
Do you love it?

[repeated line]

Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie:
[sung] Sanassa, sanassa! Sanassa, sa, sa, sanassa!

Nicole Richie:
Curly, I think you should make your hair like Scary Spice. Do like a big afro with blonde streaks.

Herself (Leding, Curly):
I went home, what do you think my husband would say?

Nicole Richie:
He wouldn't say anything, he'd just drag you into the bedroom.

Nicole Richie:
[Lying on the bed with a Great Dane with large nipples] You have very big nips.

Nicole Richie:
Is New Jersey a city or a state?

Paris Hilton:
Uhh...state...I think.

Paris Hilton:
[the girls have been pulled over] I can't believe that you can get in trouble for having blue lights under the car. In L.A., everyone who's ghetto has that.

Nicole Richie:
Who do I have to f*** around here to get out of a ticket?

Paris Hilton:
[the girls have no propane, so cannot light the stove] What I'm gonna do, I'm just microwave this 'cause I really am hungry. Can you put this in the microwave, Nicole? [Holds up pot]

Nicole Richie:
Um... I guess.

Paris Hilton:
[Puts pot in the microwave, it begins to spark] The pot smells really weird. [Opens microwave] Can you smell the pot?

Nicole Richie:
No.

Paris Hilton:
It's, like... bacon. Whatever. It's getting hot though. [Smoke is seen rising from microwave] Maybe I'll put it on a lot of minutes. [Closes and resets microwave]

Bernie, the Trailer Park Owner:
[Appearing at door] Don't put metal in the microwave.

Nicole Richie:
It smells!

Bernie, the Trailer Park Owner:
That's why it smells. You're burning the handle off.

Nicole Richie:
Are you serious?

Bernie, the Trailer Park Owner:
Yeah. Don't put metal in the microwave.

Paris Hilton:
Oh, yeah, it's melted.

Paris Hilton:
[Exploring the trailer park] Is this a real trailer park?

Nicole Richie:
Yes!

Paris Hilton:
Oh.

Nicole Richie:
They live here permanently.

Paris Hilton:
Oh, my God.

Paris Hilton:
[the girls are checking out their trailer for the first time] Let's see the bathroom.

Nicole Richie:
Oh, my God. I'm not showering. Where does the water come from? There's no mirror in here.

Paris Hilton:
We need to buy a mirror. [Looks at Nicole] Wal-Mart.

Nicole Richie:
Loves it.

Paris Hilton:
Wal-Mart!

Nicole Richie:
[the girls have no money to pay at the toll booth] Can we give you... do you want gum?

Toll Booth Attendant:
Oh, my.

Paris Hilton:
What can we sell? My $100,000 watch.

Nicole Richie:
If you see a tanning salon, let's go there.

Paris Hilton:
With what money?

Nicole Richie:
Oh, yeah.

Nicole Richie:
[Beeping sounds] What is that?

Paris Hilton:
[Reading dashboard] "Fuel level low."

Nicole Richie:
When that light comes on, you've got, you have, like, five miles or something.

Paris Hilton:
Are you serious?

Nicole Richie:
Yeah. [Paris accelerates] Don't push on the gas.

Paris Hilton:
Why?

Nicole Richie:
Because we don't have any...

J.O. Batten:
[the girls are not dressed for work] Y'all got any long britches?

Paris Hilton:
What's that?

Nicole Richie:
What's britches?

Paris Hilton:
I'll just get everything dry cleaned when I get home 'cause I don't think they dryclean out here.

Nicole Richie:
Of course they dryclean out here.

Paris Hilton:
I really wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.

Nicole Richie:
I heard her say that they do.

Paris Hilton:
No, she said "laundromat", which means you wash your own clothes.

Nicole Richie:
[Stupefied] What? You take your laundry somewhere to wash your *own* clothes?

Paris Hilton:
[Chuckles] Yes.

Nicole Richie:
What does that mean?

Paris Hilton:
A laundromat is people who can't afford to buy their own washing machine or drying machine clean their clothes. Like, you go, like, put twenty-five cents in and, like, clean clothes. You never heard of laundromat? Like, you go there, and you, like, put a quarter - [Giggles] Uh, I've seen it in movies. Like, in 40 Days and 40 Nights, remember Josh Hartnett meets...?

Nicole Richie:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Paris Hilton:
That's what it is.

Brad:
Does your tailgate work?

Paris Hilton:
What's that?

Brad:
Your tailgate on your truck?

Paris Hilton:
I don't know, what does it do?

Brad:
The tailgate?

Paris Hilton:
Oh, the thing that opens up?

Brad:
Yeah.

Paris Hilton:
Probably not, I have no idea.

Paris Hilton:
[Looking for Curly at the festival] Where is it?

Nicole Richie:
Look for Curly's hair.