The Simpsons: Road Rage

Homer Simpson:
Get in, I've got candy

Groundskeeper Willy:
Eat tractor!

[after running over somebody]

Krusty the Clown:
Now that's comedy!

Chief Wiggum:
Can you take me home? Thieves stole my police car.

Mr. Burns:
I'll be watching you.

Homer Simpson:
You drive like I think... slowly!

Groundskeeper Willy:
Get ready for some Big Willy Style!

Quimby:
Stop, you idiot!

Moe:
Stop the car, or I'll punch you in the neck!

Apu:
Stop, you crazy driver!

Apu:
Your speediness will be rewarded in the next life.

Krusty the Clown:
Oh boy! There's another lawsuit!

Krusty the Clown:
Hey-hey! Get in the car and shut up!

Marge:
An Indian cab driver? Now I've seen everything!

Krusty the Clown:
Ow, my shoes!

Milhouse:
I feel barfy!

Homer Simpson:
[singing] I am so smart. S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.

Marge:
Move your keister mister.

Chief Wiggum:
Ow! Sat on my gun.

Groundskeeper Willy:
Aii, I got to go to Skinner's. He's making me hose off his mother.

Milhouse:
Take me home please. I've got to recover from a wedgie.

Chief Wiggum:
[after running somebody over] I'd call an Ambulance, but those guys are jerks

Reverend Lovejoy:
Oh good lord it's the demon child!

Bart Simpson:
[evil voice] Hi Reverend.

Abraham Simpson:
Sit down and shut up.

Barney:
Can you take me to church? I did something last night I need to confess - but I don't remember what it was.

Homer Simpson:
[after the clock runs out] What do you mean game over?

Homer Simpson:
[after being told where to drive] Ooh Can I come?

Homer Simpson:
Boy, remember what daddy told you about being responsible and showing up for work on time? Well it's all a lie.

Bart Simpson:
Homer, that's America to me.

Homer Simpson:
[Crashing into another car] Outta my way jerkass!

Quimby:
[gets into Abraham's vehicle] Hello there. Can you take me to the nearest eating establishment?

Abraham Simpson:
Back in my day we called sandwiches "flat bready". It cost four playing cards a bite.

[last lines]

Mr. Burns:
I've had it with you people complaining about my "scary glowing buses"! I haven't seen a display of civil disobedience this comptemptable since the Summer of love. You want the Transit system back? Then take it! But don't think for a moment, that you've seen the last of Monty Burns! [Mr. Burns laughes evilly and pulls a switch, opening a trap door]

Homer Simpson:
[driving into Mr. Burns' garden to destroy his statues] You'll know my name when we're finished here Burns!

Chief Wiggum:
[after taking flight whilst driving] Maybe pigs CAN fly!

Mr. Burns:
[after you avoid Mr. Burns while chasing you] Steal my passengers, will you? We'll see about that!

Mr. Burns:
Steal any of my passengers and you'll pay for it my friend! You'll pay dearly!

Mr. Burns:
Another defiant motorist? You'll soon learn your lesson friend!

Abraham Simpson:
DMV please! I like to wait in line.

Krusty the Clown:
Ugh, I once nailed a groupie there!

Bart Simpson:
Krusty! What's up with Springfield's greatest entertainer?

Krusty the Clown:
Plenty, thanks to Viagra!

Barney:
Take me to the Duff Brewery. The happiest place in the world! [burps]

Homer Simpson:
Take me to the courthouse! I'm late for my sentencing!

Moe:
I'm gonna die lonely and ugly and dead!

Moe:
I don't go to where you work and tell you you're running out of time!

Mr. Burns:
Another driver on the road? Blast your hide to Hades you meddling fool!

Mr. Burns:
Well thank you very much Mr. 'I'm too good to ride the bus'! I hope you asphyxiate on your exhaust fumes and die a horrible death!

Mr. Burns:
A shiny new donkey to the man who brings me the head of Homer Simpson!

Mr. Burns:
Soapbox racers, electric cars. This is a transit town! Not the 1967 World's Fair!

Mr. Burns:
You'll rue the day you crossed C. Montgomery Burns!

Mr. Burns:
Let the fools have their automobiles, I say!

Milhouse:
You're too slow! I'm outta here!

Moe:
What's up Barney? How you feelin' after last night?

Barney:
My back kinda hurts. I fell asleep on some power lines.

Mr. Burns:
I've seen circus chimps who drive faster than you do!

Homer Simpson:
I need to go to my workstation. My sleeping bag is there.

Homer Simpson:
Take me to the Power Plant. I'm on a mission for fission!

Lisa Simpson:
The Ear Piercery please. Time for this little girl to get hip!

Abraham Simpson:
You're the worse driver since Fanny Brice!

Barney:
Dating service please. I should have no problem finding a lady.

Krusty the Clown:
You drive worse than Mr. Teeney!

Bart Simpson:
Ice cream shop please! I need some butter brickle to take the edge off.

Moe:
I was born to fail!

Moe:
Oh, hiya, Homer.

Homer Simpson:
Hey, Moe! Still tryin' to work off those gambling debts, eh?

Homer Simpson:
[understandably scared] Mr. Burns wants me in his office right away. If I'm late he'll have me eliminated!

Moe:
You got it.

Barney:
[after hitting someone] Same thing happened when I took my drivers' test!

Professor Frink:
[after hitting someone] [sounds like Jerry Lewis] No, I didn't mean to hit a person!

Barney:
[after being told where to drive] Sure thing, Madam President. [burps]

Abraham Simpson:
[after running someone over] Did I just hit something?

Abraham Simpson:
[after running someone over] Damn teenagers!

Barney:
[start of game] Ow, my head hurts! What did I do last night?

Marge:
Barney, you look terrible!

Barney:
Well, w - , yeah, I slept with my head in the toilet!

Moe:
[telling the driver where to drive] Duff Brewery. Paint thinner should hold them until I get back with some fresh kegs.

Comic Book Guy:
[if he doesn't have any special quotes for his destination] Warp speed!

Barney:
[after taking flight while driving] Hey! Where'd the ground go?

Abraham Simpson:
[after hitting someone] Am I going to jail for that?

Professor Frink:
[after hitting someone] Uh-oh! Now, that wasn't supposed to happen.

Hans Moleman:
The dentist, please. I swallowed my last tooth.

Abraham Simpson:
[start of game] Oh, I sure hope I don't fall asleep at the wheel!

Abraham Simpson:
[when time runs out] Would somebody tell me what just happened?

Bart Simpson:
Grandpa, they let you out?

Abraham Simpson:
I left a mannequin in my bed!

Mr. Burns:
[after ramming the player] I haven't had this much pep since the night I cold-called Calvin Coolidge!

Snake:
All right! Take me to the bank, I have to conduct an armed transaction!

Chief Wiggum:
[if he wants to go to Snake's Apartment] Can you take me to this address? I have to deliver a warrant.

Snake:
[picking someone up] All right! A sucker!

Snake:
[picking someone up] We're off to the races!

Barney:
[after hitting someone] Go back to your own planet!

Krusty the Clown:
[after hitting someone] Oh boy, there's another lawsuit!

Marge:
Grandpa, what are you doing outside?

Abraham Simpson:
[concerned and obviously confused] I don't know!