The Sum of Us

Harry Mitchell:
I'm tired of living in sin with my own right hand.

Harry:
Why don't you get the young fella another whiskey, Jeff?

Greg:
No, no really, I'm a two pot screamer.

Jeff Mitchell:
I'm a bit like that myself, two and I'm anybody's.

Greg:
Three and I'm everybody's.

Harry:
Four and I'm nobody's.

Jeff Mitchell:
Life would be pretty shitty without plumbing.

Football Coach:
Stick you're frigging shoulder in his ass!

Footballer:
Watch it!

Jeff Mitchell:
Only doing what he wants!

Desiree:
You've just taken your first step towards finding your perfect partner.

Greg:
"Baxter"?

Jeff Mitchell:
It's a joke. The footy team, you know. Back's to the...

Greg, Jeff Mitchell:
-wall, here comes Jeff.

Harry Mitchell:
[about Jeff] He won't be meeting any girls tonight. He's what you'd call... *cheerful*. Can't bear that other word.

Jeff Mitchell:
Of course, some people think it isn't very good manners to read at the dinner table.

Harry Mitchell:
Some people hasn't lived with you for twenty-odd years.

Jeff Mitchell:
Some people should be so bloody lucky.

Harry Mitchell:
Your grandmother said that to me once. 'The greatest explorers', she said, 'are the explorers of the human heart'.

Jeff Mitchell:
Is that why she became a dyke?

Harry Mitchell:
Your grandmother was not a dyke!

Jeff Mitchell:
She was licking Aunt Mary's p*ssy for forty years, what else do you call it?

Harry Mitchell:
She was not a dyke! A lesbian, perhaps... You shouldn't call her names! How would you like it if I went around and called you 'pansy', 'fairy', 'poofter'?

Jeff Mitchell:
You do half the time!

Harry Mitchell:
Only when I'm annoyed with you!