The Supermarket

Jenkins:
[Voiceover] Over in aisle three we got Mike, Ellington's number one marauding skateboarder since the sixth grade. He could drink a Russian under the table, and once fought off twenty Yankees fans with a set of car keys. Funny story, actually.

Jenkins:
[Voiceover] Pat is the lone mystical samurai of the grocery department. A guy who says it like it is and doesn't mind ruffling a few feathers while he's sayin' it.

Jenkins:
[Jenkins leading Joe on tour] The single most important thing to remember about working here is this, and only this: if you screw up, blame it on the new guy, which is you, so I guess you're screwed.

Madore:
[Breaking glass offscreen] Oh, that was Joe!

Big Dave Modz:
People gotta have their bananas, ya know.

Duckett:
You won this round, Jenkins!

Girl:
Oh hey Brian I haven't seen you since high school! What's goin' on?

Madore:
[Mouth full of potato chips] Holy freshman fifteen! [Girl slaps Madore in the face]

Jenkins:
[Lovestruck] She called me Jenkins!

Newman:
Hey Madore, got a mission for ya.

Madore:
I don't do that type of work anymore.

Newman:
One last job, for old time's sake. We need you to bring this broom and dustbin to the produce back room. [Wheels out a dry erase board and flips it around, revealing a huge detailed schematic of the store] This should be all hush-hush because you know how territorial they get about us stealing their stuff. I'd recommend using the secret entrance through the back hallways, but that's blocked by the latest watermelon shipment. We'll need you to insert in the open, possibly in their view. Once you deliver the package, we'll need you to exfiltrate as quickly as possible. We don't want you to get caught up in old rivalries and have a goddamn world war on our hands.

Madore:
You want me to go into produce territory, without backup?

Newman:
I'm sorry Madore. But this is the situation. We need the best we've got, and that's you.

Madore:
[Clenching a cigar in his teeth] I'm gettin' too old for this sh*t.

Kilroy:
Working grocery has made you soft, Madore!

Madore:
[Battling within himself] No. No!

Kilroy:
Don't forget Madore, you were once one of us.

Madore:
Go to hell.

Kilroy:
[Lifting watermelon for killing blow] Very well, you've made your choice!

Peanut-Butter-Questing Customer:
Hi sir, do you know where the peanut butter is?

Madore:
[Gleefully, aggressively shouting] No! Because I'm done for today!

Bob:
This is just the beginning. You guys know how Brookline used to be. Every square foot of the place is paved over now. Strip mall after strip mall, all parking lots and highways and empty shells of out of busines Ames stores. And it used to be a farm town just like Ellington until right around the time when we wer born, then the developers moved in. And you know if they start building here they're not gonna stop.

Deirdre Boyle:
People will support anything until it requires them to get off their asses.

Deirdre Boyle:
What they don't realize is how many people are going to be forced to work at S-Mart for shitty pay, and no hope for improvement. I mean, these service jobs that we have, we're the new working class, people don't work in factories or mills anymore, it's the people behind registers or stocking shelves. Only with all these huge chains moving in everywhere, there's no chance for unionization, no hope for better wages. And if these companies take over all over the country, we're gonna have an entire class of people working, but still below the poverty line.

Jenkins:
You don't think we're gonna win this, do you?

Deirdre Boyle:
We could. All the guys in the 60s who made changes, civil rights, women's rights, stopped the draft, they were guys our age, and they stood up for what they believed in. All we have to do is realize that it's really, truly up to us. We have to be the ones to make them leave our town alone.

Timmy:
[Back at the meat department window] Hey, you got any more of these free samples that were out here?

Angry Meat Worker:
Hey, buddy, look around! There are no free samples!

Timmy:
[Looks down at what he was eating] Oh... okay, gotta go.

Jenkins:
I was talking to Deirdre at the town meeting, you know the one you guys were supposed to go to, and she said something that really stuck with me.

Bob:
What? I want to...

Jenkins:
No! I'm preemptively saying no to whatever you were going to say.

Pat:
This better not be another script for cyborg Chuck Norris versus the Lava People below the Earth's crust!

Bob:
Well it's either that or we talk about all the weapons we'd use in the zombie apocalypse.

Timmy:
Ooh, chainsaw in one hand, shotgun in the other.

Jenkins:
Oh God, not again!

Newman:
Like Beowulf, bare hands!

Pat:
[Calmly over the chaotic shouting] You guys are not thinking realistically. You need a semi-automatic rifle, and a bludgeoning tool.

Jenkins:
God, not again.

Timmy:
Chainsaw. Shotgun.

Madore:
Chainsaws don't work.

Timmy:
Shotgun. Chainsaw.

Madore:
[Angrily shouts] Chainsaws don't work! [Turns to Newman] You stop it!

Pat:
My preference? Crowbar.

Bill:
This ain't reality TV!

Timmy:
Don't even get me started on zombies.

Pat:
College is about as helpful as lighting a wheelbarrow full of money on fire. If you want to earn a good job, you have to work for it. Maybe you forgot what working more than three months a year's like, but I sure haven't.

Deirdre Boyle:
Someone once said that sometimes it takes our best friends to tell us when we're screwing up, no matter how much we may not like it.

Jenkins:
[Skeptically] Who said that?

Deirdre Boyle:
[Bracing herself] Michael Moore on the French.

Madore:
I hate that guy.

Pat:
Everyone does.

Bob:
I always wanted to be the leader of a resistance movement.

Jenkins:
Who says you're the leader, a**hole?

Jenkins:
Well, well, well, if it isn't my old friend the traffic counter. [Smashes traffic counter]

Bob:
[Electricity coursing through his body] Power! Power!

Madore:
Alright you lily-livered slam pigs!

Madore:
They're only ninety- it's twenty- ten dollars each.

Madore:
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up!

Madore:
S-Mart equals Sh*t-Mart t-shirts! Oh my God it blows me away! You can get anything from lawn signs, knife blades, coffee mugs, red cups, jackets, stolen cell phones! We have it all today! Every penny you spend here today will be used to fight the S-Mart in some way, probably, that has yet to be determined. So buy one of these shirts today! Let's go!

T-Shirt Customer:
Hey, I'll buy one of those.

Madore:
Oke- We got one guys! Alright, that'll be thirty dollars!

T-Shirt Customer:
Thirty dollars?

Madore:
Uh, why don't you just write down your address, because we really haven't made any more than these four right here. We'll send it right out to you, they're being made down at the mall in North Haverbrook. It doesn't matter. Just give us the money. Cash only. That would be great.

Jenkins:
So, uh, you hear about those guys who've been screwing with the S-Mart? Really taking the town's interests into their own hands.

Deirdre Boyle:
Yeah but they're not accomplishing anything. All they're doing is stupid stuff that's not going to do anything to halt construction. It's... childish.

Jenkins:
Uh, yeah. Idiots.

Jenkins:
[voiceover] To say that death hits hard in a small town is an understatement. The entire population goes into a sort of depressive state, and it feels as though life grinds to a near-halt. It was like Ellington itself, the very land, went into mourning, with a blanket of mist, like a natural veil that couldn't be lifted. It didn't seem fair, and maybe that was what hit me the most. How unfair it all was. For Joe, for Ellington, for the Supermarket, for all the people who worked there. But it didn't matter. Life isn't fair, and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing. One of the most powerful effects was the way it made everyone so introspective. Made you think about what you've done, what you wanna do, what you'll be remembered for. What you'd miss. Sometimes it sickens me that it takes something like this for us all to take a step back and think.

Jenkins:
If this whole summer with the Supermarket has taught me anything, it's that the good things in life don't last as long as you want them to.

Madore:
Now, as you can all see from the files I have prepared for each of you, S-Mart is planning on moving into their property today. This is the last day before S-Mart begins its groundbreaking, so this is our last chance to hit 'em where it hurts! [Dramatically] In the balls. As you all know, the Red Triangle Circus is making its way through town on the train tracks to the Tri-Town Fair Grounds, not listed on the map.

Pat:
Why is it not on the map?

Madore:
[Angrily] It's not important! [Recomposes self] If this raid is performed successfully we can all live our lifelong dreams: letting circus elephants run amok through town.

Bob:
And what does this have to do with fighting the S-Mart?

Madore:
Well I figured, if we can get enough mice we can herd the elephants over to this general area, and destroy the S-Mart compound once and for all!

Pat:
You made me waste my fifteen on this? [Jenkins enters]

Madore:
Oh, why the hell do you think you can show up late for the mission briefings? Didn't you get the memo?

Jenkins:
This is the most serious thing to happen to our town ever and we're acting like a bunch of nine year olds! [tears down Madore's strategy map]

Madore:
Hey! I paid for a whole box of crayons to make that!

Jenkins:
They've already brought the construction vehicles on the site. It's starting. Construction is starting guys! And once they lay the foundation there's no going back, no matter what. Even if we're able to somehow get them out of here forever, we're still gonna be stuck with a huge-ass slab of concrete where there used to be one of the greatest farms in New England.

Pat:
You think we're too late?

Jenkins:
No! We're not giving up! We have to do something before we're out of time. Something big, something important, something epic. Something to set them back until we can find a legitimate way to bring these sons of b*tches down!

Bob:
You have a plan?

Jenkins:
No. Not yet. But we go tonight no matter what. And I think we can use a little more help.

Madore:
I'm all over it. Bring me everyone.

Pat:
What do you mean, everyone?

Madore:
[screams, deranged] *Everyone!*

Newman:
[showing off electric razor] Sixteen blades. My jugular just spurts blood with happiness.

Jenkins:
Then we do this.

Newman:
Indeed, sir. A last charge of Matt Jenkins and his immortals.

Pat:
[lights cigarette] I'm getting too old for this sh*t.

Timmy:
[watching Pat take his car keys out of his van's sun visor, Terminator 2 style] You... keep your keys up there?

Pat:
Yeah, everybody does. Don't all you guys keep your keys up there?

Everybody:
[as though it's obvious] Yeah!

Pat:
You don't? What the hell's the matter with you? [Starts van while eying Timmy with suspicion and disgust]

Cop 1:
[Looking out across at the Supermarket] It's a shame. That place is not gonna be around here much longer.

Cop 2:
Progress.

Bob:
I'm goin' back to school in a couple weeks and oh man, I cannot wait. I'm so sick of this town.

Deirdre Boyle:
Matt, I'm going back to college soon, I have a lot of things to take care of. What did you expect of me? [guiltily looks at a gobsmacked Jenkins] I gotta go. We're heading to see a movie, and we're gonna miss the previews at this rate.

Jenkins:
What about fighting for Ellington? The Supermarket? Making a difference? Don't you want to...

Deirdre Boyle:
Matt... Did you really think we were gonna win?

Mr. Wagner:
I'm glad you came, Matt.

Jenkins:
This place meant a lot to me.

Mr. Wagner:
We had a good run. I'm going to miss it.

Jenkins:
Me too.

[last lines]

Jenkins:
[voiceover] Now that it's gone, people will question its importance. But they won't understand. They won't remember the way it was.