The Thief Lord

Bo:
Where have you been?

Prosper:
At the merry-go-round with Scip.

Bo:
Didn't work, did it?

Prosper:
Yeah, it did. Scip's all grown up.

Bo:
Really? But you're still my same Prop.

Prosper:
Are you disappointed?

Bo:
No. I'm happy.

Bo:
Prop?

Prosper:
Hmm?

Bo:
When you have no money do you have to run away from everyone?

Prosper:
We're not running away any more, Bo. Mum wanted us to be here, this is where we live now.

Bo:
[Bo looks around the alleyway] Here?

Barbarossa:
Three hundered for the lot; most of it's rubbish.

Prosper:
Eight.

Barbarossa:
Four.

Prosper:
Seven.

Barbarossa:
Four seven-five.

Prosper:
Six eight-seven and a half.

Riccio:
See, it wasn't our Scip.

Prosper:
Yes it was.

Bo:
And his dad's a meanie.

Riccio:
What are you talking about? Scip doesn't have a dad.

Prosper:
Why don't you go introduce yourself?

Bo:
You forgot something very important.

Riccio:
What?

Bo:
It's under my jumper.

Hornet:
What?

Bo:
[pulls up his sweater] Me!

Prosper:
[taking his letter] We may be young but we're not completely stupid.

Barbarossa:
Give that back! Before I tear you nasty little tongue out you...

Bo:
[slams his candy down] You can keep it because you shouted at Prosper! And anyway, it was yucky.

Bo:
Prop, where's this train going?

Prosper:
Hopefully South.

Bo:
[holding gondola ornaments] Look, Prop. Gondolas.

Prosper:
What are you doing opening the boxes? Put 'em back.

Bo:
I didn't. This one was open already.

Prosper:
Put 'em back, anyway. They don't belong to us.

Victor:
I've tracked down many things in my time - suitcases, dogs, the occasional husband - but you're the first clients who've ever mislaid their children.

Scipio:
Now tell me, what did you steal? Money, jewels? Are you lock-pickers? Purse-pickers?- Pocket-pickers?

Prosper:
We're not thieves.

Scipio:
Do you know what happens here after dark? Things little eyes should never, ever see.

Bo:
We're not scared.

Scipio:
Not scared? Well, aren't you the little tiger? RAWR!

Scipio:
You're not a grown-up, are you? Only some of them are very small. You wouldn't be trying to trick me on my own turf, would you?

Bo:
I'm six and a quarter.

Scipio:
[Removes mask and smiles] That makes you a VIP.

Scipio:
Nothing's safe from the Thief Lord.

Riccio:
[to Prosper] Your big moment, Mr Stoney Face.

Barbarossa:
A client of mine is looking for someone who'll - shall we say - procure a certain item.

Riccio:
Well, if he's sick, why doesn't he go to the doctor?

Bo:
Prop's very brave and I'm good at cheering him up, so we make a good team.

Scipio:
Bigger money equals bigger plans - [looking at Bo] and bigger cakes to buy.

Ida:
What sort of case?

Victor:
I can tell you it involves kids.

Ida:
Well, I'm sure they're innocent

Victor:
No, no, no. This case isn't about guilt or innocence.

Ida:
Look, if children are in trouble, it's usually because they've been misled or used by adults. You should lock up the parents.

Conte:
One should not wear a mask in church any more than a hat.

Scipio:
One should not plan a thief in a confessional, and that's what we're here for, right?

Victor:
So, what's your name, kind fellow, noble knight?

Bo:
Bo. What's yours?

Victor:
Vict...

Bo:
Victor?

Victor:
I'm- I'm a victim of circumstance.

Bo:
There's my Aunt Esther, but she's not nice and she never smiles.

Victor:
You're telling me.

Scipio:
Perhaps you're a tourist. [slowly] Where - are - you - visiting - from?

Victor:
I'm an Eskimo, can't you tell?

Scipio:
Really? That is fascinating.

Ida:
Well, why don't you go on an adventure?

Riccio:
[mockingly] We're not allowed to do anything without permission from my mother.

Prosper:
The Thief Lord was a little rich boy's game. And we were your fools.

Prosper:
You better go home, Scipio. The others are angry. They don't understand what you've done.

Scipio:
Are you angry? Do you understand?

Prosper:
[pauses and Scipio looks down sadly] I'm trying.

Bo:
[to homing pigeon] This is your big moment, Sophia, so don't screw up.

Victor:
I'm totally - utterly - convinced the boys are no longer in Venice.

Esther Hartlieb:
But... where have they gone?

Victor:
[randomly] Corfu.

Prosper:
We may be young, but we're not completely stupid.

Contessa:
How old are you? Fourteen, fifteen?

Scipio:
With this money, I can be any age I want. I won't have to be a child any longer.

Contessa:
Did you hear that, Renzo? He no longer wants to be a child!

Conte:
Nature will soon grant him his wish.

Victor:
I think we better go inside before we become a tourist attraction.

Max Hartlieb:
[about Bo's ice-cream] Have a taste. It's all for you.

Bo:
I hate it and I hate you!

Conte:
[now a child; about the merry-go-round] I only just managed to dismount in time.

Scipio:
Uh, looks like you went a bit too far. [exchanges glances with Prosper]

Conte:
The only visitor we allow to come here is Barbarossa.

Scipio:
Does he know about the merry-go-round?

Conte:
Good heavens, no. He'd immediately start selling tickets at ten-thousand apiece.

Prosper:
Problems don't just disappear because you've got older.

Prosper:
What you do is your choice. But I can't do this.

Scipio:
What about Bo? Think how happy he'd be

Prosper:
Bo wants me as a brother, not a father.

Barbarossa:
You may look older, but has it made you wiser, Thief Lord?

Barbarossa:
[now a child] Look at what's happened to me! I'm a respected man!

Scipio:
Can I at least recommend a better tailor?

Scipio:
[about child Barbarossa] Sorry I had to bring him here, Ida. He's afraid of the dark. He didn't want to stay in his shop on his own.

Victor:
[Scipio is now grown up] And you - I've heard of growths spurts, but this is ridiculous. I mean, what are you - your own older brother? Or the winner of a Thief Lord look-a-like competition or what?

Scipio:
How about your new assistant?

Victor:
Can someone please explain what's going on here before I start drinking port for breakfast as well?

Mosca:
Can you count up fifty-thousand?

Riccio:
What am I? Einstein?

Scipio:
I'll put it in bank accounts for each of you.

Riccio:
Bank accounts? What next, my midlife crisis?

Scipio:
[about a revamped boat] It looks about as sea-worthy as a rubber duck.

Scipio:
I expect you to behave.

Riccio:
Hey, that's a laugh coming from you, Thief Lord.

Scipio:
Everything's ship shape and Bristol fashion with your false beard now.

Scipio:
Stubble!

Housekeeper:
Don't I know you?

Riccio:
Yes, you do. We're staying this time.

Scipio:
Father, I think the cat's sick...

Scipio:
What's the matter?

Prosper:
I'm scared.

Scipio:
Of what?

Prosper:
Of guns.

Scipio:
[to Victor, who is trying to re-adjust his fake beard] Everything ship-shape and Bristol-fashion with your *false-beard* there?