The Three Musketeers

Aramis:
[to Porthos] Only the wrong words are a complete waste of time. The right words can leave a more lasting impression than a thousand of Porthos' kisses.

Barmaid:
Not likely.

Aramis:
Shall I demonstrate? [to barmaid] As morning hues of sunswept fire caress your passioned face, alone with thee a pure desire to worship untold grace. My soul would cry in silent prayer to an hour swept apart. Your essence warms the evening air as I dance into your heart. [kisses Barmaid's hand]

D'Artagnan:
Shakespeare.

Aramis:
Aramis.

Porthos:
Fleeting.

Barmaid:
It was beautiful.

Aramis:
Oh, thank you. [Barmaid gets up and kisses Aramis]

Milady:
I don't believe you've suffered the burden of chastity.

Cardinal Richelieu:
Perhaps you're right. [pulls back her cloak and moves to embrace her. Milady pulls out a dagger and holds it to his stomach.]

Milady:
I was making an observation, not an offer.

Cardinal Richelieu:
A word of caution, Milady. A snap of my fingers and you could be back on the block where I found you!

Milady:
And with a flick of my wrist, [inches the blade closer] I could change your religion.

Porthos:
Athos, you cannot fight this boy.

Athos:
Why not?

Porthos:
I'm fighting him.

D'Artagnan:
Not until one o'clock.

Aramis:
I have a duel with him, too.

D'Artagnan:
Not until two o'clock.

[Athos and D'Artagnan are driving Richelieu's carriage away while being chased by his guards. A loud pop is heard]

D'Artagnan:
They're shooting at us!

Porthos:
[Stands up with a foaming bottle] Champagne?

Athos:
We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos!

Porthos:
You're right. Something red. [Goes back down to find a bottle of wine]

[Cardinal Richelieu's been unmasked over his plot to assassinate King Louis]

King Louis:
You have failed!

Cardinal Richelieu:
[laughs] You are so naive. But things couldn't have gone more perfectly if I'd planned them myself. The King of France dies at the hands of his own personal guards! [heads to throne dais] Grief-stricken, terrified, the huddled masses turn for comfort to their devout spiritual leader... [hands together in prayer, then sits on the throne] who, ever so humbly, assumes the throne... [flays cape across queen's throne] with a queen by his side.

Queen Anne:
I would rather die.

Richelieu:
[kicks stool and stands up] That can be arranged!

Aramis:
[finds Richelieu's hidden treasure chest in his carriage] Is he a man of God or a man of gold?

Porthos:
[to D'Artagnan] You, boy, are arrogant, hot-tempered and entirely too bold. I like that. It reminds me of me.

Cardinal Richelieu:
[about MiLady DeWinter] A remarkable woman. The most beautiful I've ever known... and the deadliest. Which would explain my attraction.

King Louis:
[honoring a kneeling D'artagnan] This world is an uncertain realm, filled with danger. Honor undermined by the pursuit of power, freedom sacrificed when the weak are oppressed by the strong. But there are those who oppose these powerful forces, who dedicate their lives to truth, honor and freedom. These men are known as Musketeers. Rise, D'Artagnan, and join them.