The Tracey Ullman Show

[repeated line]

Kay:
[into a phone] Hello Mummy. I-i-i-i-i-i-t'ssssssssss K-a-a-a-y.

[Becky the pharmacist dials a phone number and a voice-message comes on]

Becky's Father:
[voice-over] Hi, this is Joe.

Becky's Mother:
[voice-over] And this is Doris.

Becky's Father, Becky's Mother:
And we're the Fonzpicks!

Becky's Mother:
We're not home right now. We're out enjoying our golden year.

Becky's Father:
Or we're in the bedroom fooling around!

Becky's Mother:
We're just out so...

Becky's Father, Becky's Mother:
Leave a message after the beep!

[the awswering machine beeps]

Becky:
[into the phone] Hi Mom, hi Dad. This is Roberta. You know... Becky. I just called to tell you that I'm going to kill myself, and that you're only partially to blame.

[Becky hangs up]

[a robber breaks into the pharmacy just as Becky is swallowing various pills]

The Robber:
All right! Open the cash register and give me all the money, now!

Becky:
[laughs] Absolutely not!

The Robber:
You wanna die?

Becky:
Yes, I do!

The Robber:
I'm not kidding, lady! Open the cash register now, or you'll not live to go home to sleep tonight!

Becky:
Go ahead and shoot me if you want. I just took about 14 different kinds of sleeping pills that should put me to sleep forever!

Kari, Slumber Party Girl:
Say, William, Mr. Manchester. How long have you and Francesca's father been together?

William:
Eight wonderful years.

Kari, Slumber Party Girl:
Just curious, but how did you two meet?

William:
We met at a Halloween costume party that Dave's firm threw for all his clients. We both showed up dressed as Marie Antoinette. It was a scream!

Krusty the Clown:
Hi, boys and girls! Welcome to the Krusty the Clown Show! Let's meet some of our guests in our studio audience shall we?

[to Maggie Simpson]

Krusty the Clown:
What's your name little girl?

[Maggie continues sucking on her pacifier, saying nothing]

Krusty the Clown:
OK, what's your name little boy?

Bart Simpson:
I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?

Krusty the Clown:
[grumbles, trying to control his temper] Why I'm you old pal Krusty!

Bart Simpson:
Oh, yeah? Then what's Krusty's secret motto?

Krusty the Clown:
[trying to remember] Uh... oh, if you're feeling sad and blue, keep a Krusty smile on you!

Bart Simpson:
Look man, I don't know how you found out Krusty's secret motto, but you're still an imposter!

[Bart pulls off Krusty's red nose and pushes him to the floor as he grabs Krusty's microphone amid boos and jeers from the rest of the studio audience]

Bart Simpson:
Kids in TV land, you're being duped by this imposter who...

Krusty the Clown:
[rises and begins choking Bart; gruff voice] Why you little... !

[first lines spoken by the Simpsons]

Bart Simpson:
Uh, Dad?

Homer Simpson:
What?

Bart Simpson:
What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses? Or is it something tangible?

Homer Simpson:
Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!