The Tube

[a cleaner is cleaning up after a passenger has urinated on the platform]

Barry Griffiths - Customer Service Assistant:
We have had number twos as well, I can assure you. We used to have the Secret Crapper. On this platform, right at the end. Every week, different day. Never caught them. We don't think they did it... We think they brought it their pocket and dumped it.

[talking about the old trains that are going for scrap, now that the new trains are replacing them]

Dylan Glenister - Train Driver, Piccadilly Line:
I'd love to preserve one of these when they go. Really. Seriously. If not the whole carriage then just the cab. And the missus, she's well up for it. She said "Dyl, if that's what you want to do, you do it. I know it means a lot to you." Just the cab section, that's all. Stick it in the front room somewhere and just a paint a big black circle around it. While she's watching The X Factor, I can say "Oh look, I used to drive these."