The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Let's have a look at her paintings. [Struck by the amateur look of the bad paintings] Oh. Lord!

Det. Insp. Parker:
Hmmm. Yes, it gives me a pain too, but I thought that was my lack of an artistic education.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
It was your natural good taste, Charles. Let's have a look at some others. Mmm-hmm. You know, these are the paintings of a completely untalented person who is moreover trying to copy the mannerisms of a very advanced school.

Bunter:
[Speaking of Ann Dorland and her servants] They like her, sir, in spite of herself.

Det. Insp. Parker:
Well, likeable people have committed murder before now,

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Yes, but they like her in spite of herself. Do you see?

Det. Insp. Parker:
No, I don't see.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Explain, Bunter.

Bunter:
She's not likeable, sir, but they like her.

Ann Dorland:
What shall I do?

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Tell the truth.

Ann Dorland:
It will sound silly.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
They have heard sillier.

Ann Dorland:
I won't! I don't want to be the one to...

Lord Peter Wimsey:
...to get him hanged?

Ann Dorland:
I can't.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Look, it may turn out to be him or you.

Ann Dorland:
If it comes to that, he can take what's coming to him.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Good girl. I thought you were going to be noble or self-sacrificing and troublesome.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
[to Ann Doland] Look, sit down, Ann. Napoleon or someone said you could always turn tragedy into comedy by sittin' down.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
So, your client won't see us?

Mr. Pritchard:
Can you think of any reason why she should?

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Well, establish the truth perhaps. Next to the good and the beautiful, the truth is always said to be a proper object of service.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
[to Prichard] What an acid man you are, Mr. Prichard! No reverence... no faith. Do lawyers ever go to heaven?

Mr. Pritchard:
I don't think I quite understand.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
There are times, Mr. Prichaed. when I hardly understand myself.

Robert Fentiman:
I'm a married man as you know, Peter. Comic figure - the married man kept by his wife.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
We all have to be kept by someone, you know. Better one's wife than a person of low character.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
[Advising Bunter on details of his disguise] The men of the Bellona Club are advanced in years. They will see what they expect to see. They will expect to see dandruff.

George Fentiman:
You'd like a whiskey, I expect.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
No, thanks, old lad. No, I've had a brandy already. Never mix the grape and the grain.

Mr. Murbles:
Fraud is a penal offence, you could go to prison, man, and you should.

Robert Fentiman:
Don't be silly, Murbles. You're my solicitor. It's your job to keep me out.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Anyway, there are more serious penal offenses than fraud.

Robert Fentiman:
What?

Det. Insp. Parker:
Such as murder, for instance.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
[Speaking of Ann Dorland] In love?

Marjorie Phelps:
Well, she's been in love once - sort of in love. It turned out rather badly.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Mmm-hmm. Being in love usually does.

Marjorie Phelps:
Does it?

Lord Peter Wimsey:
Consequently I am rather careful to avoid it.

Det. Insp. Parker:
[after Wimsey has posiited his theories on the murder] Peter, you are absolutely scintilating with good plots today!

Lord Peter Wimsey:
[to Dr. Penberthy, who is worried about bad publicity] Newspapers are only something to wrap fish and chips.

Lord Peter Wimsey:
[to D.I. Parker] Aristotle says we should always prefer the probable impossible to the improbable possible.

Salcombe Hardy:
The way we see it if you touch murder, you become interesting.