The Wiz Live!

The Wiz:
If you don't know where you're going, how do you expect me to take you there?

Dorothy Gale:
Can you please help me get home?

Addapearle:
Well, where's that?

Dorothy Gale:
I'm trying to get to Omaha, where I was born.

Addapearle:
Oh, no can do. See, that falls under the heading of transporting a minor across state lines. I'm afraid for something like that, you're gonna have to see the Wiz.

Dorothy Gale:
I never met a man made of tin before.

Scarecrow:
Well, you never met a talking scarecrow, either. I guess it's one of those days.

[Tin Man recalls how Evamean the Wicked Witch of the East turned him into a Tin Man]

Tin-Man:
Now, I swear I never encouraged her, but ol' Evamean was sweet on me. Made no never mind, my heart belonged to Bertha. I know I should've manned up and told her, but before I could, ol' Evamean caught us kissing in the woods. She let out a lightning bolt, knocked me clear across the river. When I opened my eyes, I was like this, all ice cold and steely hard. Bertha said she didn't mind, but turnin' me to tin wasn't the worst thing ol' Evamean done to me.

[Tin Man opens a panel in his chest, to reveal that he has no heart inside]

Tin-Man:
She said that if she couldn't have my heart, then no one could. Without a heart, I had to let old Bertha go.

Dorothy Gale:
At least this forest is a nice home.

Tin-Man:
Yeah, and you still got your heart.

Scarecrow:
And a brain.

The Cowardly Lion:
But what's the use of all that if you ain't got the courage to get up outta bed?

Evillene:
If you're gonna be a wicked witch, and you're good at your job, you're gonna have to expect to rub some folks the wrong way.

[repeated lines]

Dorothy Gale:
[singing] C'mon and ease on down, ease on down the road! C'mon and ease on down, ease on down the road! Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load! C'mon, ease on down, ease on down the road!

The Cowardly Lion:
Now, that ol' witch is deathly afraid of water. She don't even bathe! She sends herself out once a week for dry cleanin'.

Dorothy Gale:
Home isn't where you live, it's where you love.

Glinda the Good:
Hello, Dorothy! Now, it is a pleasure to finally meet you up close, and not see you from far away.

Dorothy Gale:
From far away?

Glinda the Good:
I've had my eye on you every step of the way.

Dorothy Gale:
I think I already knew that. I always felt like someone was watching over me.

Glinda the Good:
Now, that's the power of love, baby! You're never alone. Your Auntie Em and all the others have been keepin' watch over you.

Glinda the Good:
You've had the power to go home any time! Addapearle, why didn't you tell the child?

Addapearle:
I thought she'd like to meet you first.

The Cowardly Lion:
I'm just a big, ole scaredy-cat. That's all I'm ever gonna be. I tried getting help from this old owl, but all he did is make me lie down on a couch, ask me a bunch 'a silly questions like, "What do you want?", "Why are you here?", "What do think this means?" I said, "I think this means you ripped me off, 'cause I gave you money, but you ain't givin' me nothin'!"

Dorothy Gale:
You poor thing!

The Cowardly Lion:
Great, now I got little girls pityin' me.

Evillene:
Is that my news?

Lord High Underling:
It is.

Evillene:
Well, when were you plannin' on lettin' me have it?

Lord High Underling:
Your evilness, I'd be happy to let you have it anytime!

Evillene:
Oh, you bein' funny right now. You some kind of Eddie Murphy or somethin'?

Dorothy Gale:
You mean the Wiz is...

The Cowardly Lion:
...a fraud!

Tin-Man:
And a woman!

Dorothy Gale:
And what's wrong with bein' a woman?

Tin-Man:
Uh, nothin'...

Dorothy Gale:
That's right! Nothin' wrong with bein' a woman. I don't know where y'all fools learned y'all manners.

The Wiz:
Scarecrow, you say you got no brain? Well, the surest sign you're talkin' to a dummy is when he tells you he knows it all! Takes a quality mind to know that there's always more to learn. You, my friend, are of that brainiac persuasion.

Scarecrow:
So, knowing that I know nothing means that I know something? Well, what d'ya know!

Dorothy Gale:
[persuading the Wiz to fly her to Omaha in her balloon] Let her be. She got a right to choose the way she wants to live. Maybe she don't want no friends and family. Maybe she don't care about the wonderful world just beyond those doors.

The Wiz:
Yeah!

Dorothy Gale:
Maybe she don't miss conversatin' and sharin' a laugh with folks. Maybe she don't need to feel a warm hug, or a friendly handshake, or a loving kiss ever again.

The Wiz:
Yeah...

Dorothy Gale:
Maybe she wants to live stuck here, alone in the dark 'til the end of her days.

The Wiz:
Layin' it on a little thick, ain't ya? All right, all right. Ya made your point.

Tin-Man:
So, that's all there is to it? You just click your heels three times, and you get to go home.

Scarecrow:
It makes no sense, so it must be so. You know, the truth is like that.

The Cowardly Lion:
But if that's true, then you never would've had to battle Evillene, or the Wiz! Or even meet me.

Scarecrow:
Or me.

Tin-Man:
Or me.

Dorothy Gale:
Oh, I wouldn't have missed meeting you for anything! Promise you'll remember me? [Lion nods yes, then Dorothy kisses him on the cheek] Keep me in your heart. [Tin Man kisses Dorothy's hand] Let me now and then come to mind. [Scarecrow and Dorothy hug] Maybe, just maybe, if I hold on to these Shoes, they'll lead me back to you someday!

Tin-Man:
Please try.

Dorothy Gale:
I will. But right now, I think I hear Aunt Em callin'.

[last lines]

Dorothy Gale:
[singing] When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing. I wish I was home, I wish I was back there with the things I've been knowing. Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning. Suddenly, the raindrops that fall, they have meaning. Sprinkling the scene, makes it all so clean. Maybe there's a chance for me to go back, now that I have some direction. It would sure be nice to be back home where there's love and affection. And just maybe I can convince time to slow up, giving me enough time in my life to grow up. Time, be my friend, let me start again. Suddenly my world's gone and changed its face, but I still, I know where I'm going. I have had my mind spun around in space, yet I've watched it growing. And oh, if you're listening, God, please don't make it hard to know if we should believe in things we see. Tell us, should we try and stay, or should we run away, or would it be better just to let things be? Living here, in this brand new world might be a fantasy, oh, but it taught me to love, so it's real, it's so real to me. And I've learned that we must look inside our hearts to find a world so full of love, like yours, like mine. Like home! [Dorothy clicks her heels, and immediately winds up back in Kansas. Toto and Aunt Em rush in to welcome her home] Toto! Oh, Aunt Em!