The Wiz

Tinman:
The genius who created me only took care of my dashing good looks, my razor sharp wit and my irresistible attraction to the wrong women.

Lion:
[singing after Tinman revives him from the Poppy's spell] How high the moon, zo za zo zo zay.

[chuckles]

Lion:
[snorts] W'us han'in', babe?

Scarecrow:
Stay right there.

Tinman:
[stuck underneath a big heavy round tin-woman] Don't worry, I wasn't planning any promenades.

The Munchkins:
[after the Witch is killed, the Munchkins turn from graffiti back into children] Two, 4, 6, 8! Who do we appreciate?

Dorothy:
[terrified] No! No!

Scarecrow:
[after Tinman's crying] He rusted himself cryin'.

Aunt Em:
Girl, do you know that you're 24 years old, and you've never been south of 125th Street? Well, you haven't!

Aunt Em:
Oh, here we go again. You get me so worked up that I'm beginning to sound like a Jewish mother.

Scarecrow:
Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent!

Cheetah, Head of the Flying Monkeys:
[receiving orders from Evillene] White bread... or rye?

Scarecrow:
Success, fame, and fortune, they're all illusions. All there is that is real is the friendship that two can share.

Dorothy:
That's beautiful! Who said that?

Scarecrow:
[modestly] I did.

Scarecrow:
Barnum said there's a sucker born every minute.

Tinman:
I was there when he said it, but I never thought I'd be one of them.

Scarecrow:
I'll think about you all the time, Dorothy!

Tinman:
And I'll miss you... every day. Even if I had to go back to that junk pile... even as teeny's seat cushion... I wouldn't mind... because I have known... real love. [cries]

Dorothy:
Aww... don't rust yourself now. [wipes away the tears]

Scarecrow:
Now I'll never get my brain!

Tinman:
Nor my heart.

Lion:
Or my courage

Dorothy:
But you don't need them now because you've had them all the time. Scarecrow, you're the one who figured out how to find the yellow brick road and how to destroy Evillene, and every smart move we've made, didn't you? Lion, you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail. And, Tin Man, you have more heart than anyone I've ever known.

Tinman:
[hopeful] Honest?

Dorothy:
Yeah, you never needed anything from the fake wizard, anyway.

Dorothy:
You mean, you sent us to kill Evillene, knowing we might never come back?

The Wiz:
She would have killed me, she would have found out I had no power, and took over Oz.

Dorothy:
That's no excuse.

Dorothy:
He must really be in shock!

Tinman:
Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in shock! Just Once!

The Wiz:
Dorothy... [pause] Can you do something for me?

Dorothy:
They've had what they've been searching for in them all along. I don't what's in you. You'll have to find that out for yourself. But I do know one thing: you'll never find it in the safety of this room. I tried that all my life. It doesn't work. There's a whole world out there. And you'll have to begin by letting people see who you really are.

Glinda the Good:
Hello, Dorothy.

Dorothy:
Please, is there a way for me to get back home?

Glinda the Good:
Well, Dorothy, you were wise and good enough to help your friends to come here and find what was inside them all the time. That's true for you, also.

Dorothy:
Home? Inside of me? I don't understand.

Glinda the Good:
Home is a place we all must find, child. It's not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.

Scarecrow:
[quoting] "Heavy is the head that wears a crown." - W. Shakespeare.

Tinman:
There is nothing amusing about the closing down of an amusement park.

Dorothy:
[Attempting to make the Tinman cry] Quick! Find a really sad saying!

Scarecrow:
[Reaches into his hair and pulls out a piece of paper] Uh... showers this morning, clearing by tonight!

[repeated line]

Tinman:
TEENY! TEENY!

Lion:
[Strung up by his tail in Evilene's lair] Don't give her the slippers, Dorothy!

Evillene:
Is this enough for you? No? Well, how about your metal friend over there?

Tinman:
[a giant piledriver begins to flatten him] Don't worry, Dorothy! I'm just an empty shell! This doesn't hurt me!

Tinman:
Hurry hurry hurry, step on up and save a life!

Scarecrow:
But Bacon said -...

The Four Crows:
Bacon? Once over lightly, please.

Scarecrow:
"Knowledge is power," and Cicero says -...

The Four Crows:
Cicero, row, row your boat...

Evillene:
I'm allergic to water! It makes me melt!

Lion:
Mamma would be so proud - goin' to see da WIZ! [preens] My momma used to say ta me, Fleet -...

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy:
FLEET?

Lion:
That's my name: Fleetwood Coupe de Ville!

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy:
[snickers]

Lion:
Momma had high ideals...

Tinman:
Yeah!

Lion:
- Y'know what I mean?

Tinman:
Yeah!

[Lion and Tin Man high-five]

Tinman:
Ha hah!

Tinman:
[after Dorothy cannot find his heart in his chest] Nobody home in Soulville.

Evillene:
[shouting as she threatens to burn Toto] Would you like sauerkraut or mustard, my dear, on your hot dog?

Lion:
Lion is playing with his tail and then says They kicked me out on IOBK

Tinman:
What is IOBK?

Lion:
Incapable of being King

[last lines]

Dorothy:
[sings] When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing. I wish I was home, I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing. Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning. Suddenly, the snowflakes that fall have a meaning. Sprinkling the scene, makes it all clean. Maybe there's a chance for me to go back, now that I have some direction. It would sure be nice to be back home where there's love and affection. And just maybe I can convince time to slow up, giving me enough time in my life to grow up. Time, be my friend, let me start again. Suddenly my world's gone and changed its face, but I still know where I'm going. I have had my mind spun around in space, and yet I've watched it growing. And if you're listening, God, please don't make it hard to know if we should believe in the things that we see. Tell us, should we run away, should we try and stay, or would it be better just to let things be? Living here, in this brand new world might be a fantasy, but it taught me to love, so it's real, real to me. And I've learned that we must look inside our hearts to find a world full of love, like yours, like mine. Like home!

Scarecrow:
[after finding out the Wiz is actually is politian from New Jersey, quotes] 'Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent' - Penrose!

The Wiz:
[laughs hysterically] Incompetent! That's me!