The Young Philadelphians

Joan Dickinson:
How do you want to handle this? Pleasant or unpleasant?

Carson, Construction Worker:
What's the matter? Late for tea?

Joan Dickinson:
All right. Unpleasant.

Joan Dickinson:
At least you have someplace to go.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
Haven't you?

Joan Dickinson:
Are you kidding? I have no talents. Nothing. I was very well educated to be an idiot. And I was a very good student.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
This isn't very conducive to sensible thinking. I better go back before...

Joan Dickinson:
I don't want sensible thinking!

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
Neither do I.

Chester A. 'Chet' Gwynn:
Did you ever see a babe with two heads?

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
No. Come on, call her!

Chester A. 'Chet' Gwynn:
No.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
Come on, Chet.

Chester A. 'Chet' Gwynn:
Tony.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
Two heads... then we can both talk to her! And she doesn't have to bring a friend!

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
I just learned the rules of the game.

[Mrs. Allen welcomes Anthony Lawrence to a society cocktail party]

Mrs. J. Arthur Allen:
Well, here you are at last. Everyone's here to meet you, including some I thought were dead.

[At Chet Gwynn's murder trial, Anthony Lawrence sets up a demonstration to test butler George Archibald's ability to name a type of liquor by smelling it]

George Archibald:
[Sniffing a glass] It is Royal Tartan Scotch. Unmistakable. Rich heavy bouquet with a definite aroma of peat smoke.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
[Hands him another glass] Now, the third glass.

George Archibald:
This is water, sir. There is no smell, except perhaps for a faint touch of chlorine, which the city puts in its drinking water. I trust you weren't trying to trick me into identifying it as liquor.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
It's water? Are you sure? I don't understand.

George Archibald:
You will note there is no label. I believe you gave me your water glass.

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
Well, I'm terribly sorry. I guess I made a mistake.

George Archibald:
Well, perhaps it's not in vain. Since my throat is a little dry, you'll pardon me. [He drinks the glass, coughs] It's gin! It's gin! You've tricked me!

Anthony Judson Lawrence:
That's right! [Takes the glass] Your Honor, I submit this as Exhibit D!