The Zack Files

Zack Greenburg:
Why do I always have to be the one with a conscience?

Cam Dunleavey:
You can leave this to a man of vision.

Cam Dunleavey:
It's time for some Cam Dunleavey magic.

Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby:
How many girls has Cam dated simultaneously?

Zack Greenburg:
..Six. In one afternoon!

Cam Dunleavey:
Not six, more like half a dozen... it was a total freak scheduling accident, okay?

Dan Greenburg:
As temporary soccer coach, it wasn't exactly my goal to win at all costs. I just wanted the kids to have fun. And we all know, it's not whether you win or lose that really matters, it's how you look in the team photo.

Spencer Sharpe:
[after using "Girl Power" deodorant instead of his own, Zack turns into a girl temporarily. Spence wants to document this most recent paranormal incident] So, can you tell me how it feels?

Zack Greenburg:
How what feels?

Spencer Sharpe:
To be a girl. How is it different?

Zack Greenburg:
Well, you want to know the biggest difference? Guys seem a lot more stupid now.