This Is 40

Jodi:
[about Desi] Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Everything that goes into her mouth is a dick.

Debbie:
I don't want a turbo penis. I like your medium soft one.

Barry:
That's the one thing you don't do. You don't tell her you took Viagra. I'm pretty sure that's on the warning label.

Pete:
We had sex the other night. You should give me some credit for that.

Debbie:
It's not about credit.

Debbie:
All of a sudden we're a magnet of negativity. What did we do?

Pete:
Snitches end up in ditches!

Graham Parker:
Got a bit of a problem. Touch of gout.

Pete:
Gout?

Graham Parker:
Yeah, my whole family, they all had gout.

Pete:
Jesus.

Ronnie:
That's very unfortunate.

Graham Parker:
My auntie Queenie, she had a foot like the size of a small pig. I've got a photo of it.

Ronnie:
I'd love to see that photo of that gout foot.

Graham Parker:
A couple of bunions as well.

Ronnie:
F***.

Debbie:
So you would do sex with me?

Flirty Hockey Player:
'Do sex'? What are you, Borat?

Ronnie:
[Referring to Graham Parker video they are viewing] What are you doing?

Cat:
I'm contextualizing him as one of the great figures in rock history.

Ronnie:
You can't show him in his prime in '77 and then jump straight to him as he is now. It's terrifying. You have to reverse it. You have got to show him as he is now, very briefly, and then show him in 1977. You have got to Benjamin Button it.

Cat:
I don't know what you're talking about. All rock stars are older now. Steven Tyler, David Bowie, Mick Jagger...

Pete:
Paul McCartney.

Ronnie:
Okay, stop it. Everybody that you are mentioning looks like an old woman now. You're just mentioning a bunch of Jessica Tandys. Keith Richards gets away with it, but that's because Keith Richards looked 70 when he was 40. And now that he's 70 he looks 69. He's regenerating.

Debbie:
I don't want to shop at old lady stores. I don't want to go to J. Jill and Chico's and Ann Taylor.

Sadie:
I don't make fun of your stupid Mad Men!

Pete:
First of all, I don't get worked up over Mad Men.

Sadie:
That's because Mad Men sucks!

Pete:
What Don Draper has gone through beats whatever Jack is running from on some f***ing island.

Sadie:
A bunch of people smoking in an office, it's stupid!

Debbie:
Who goes to the bathroom for a half hour?

Pete:
John Goodman.

Pete:
Don't talk to me about responsibilities. I have a life. I have a family. I can't afford to sit in my apartment getting high, jerking off, and then going to Tommy's Chili Burgers at three o'clock in the morning.

Ronnie:
That's not even the order that happens in!