Three Texas Steers

Postman:
Are you Nancy Evans?

Nancy Evans:
Yes.

Postman:
You seem kinda young to be boss of a circus.

Nancy Evans:
I'll soon get over that.

Lillian:
She's thinking of growing a beard to give her dignity.

Henchman Steve:
Well, this is just great. We wreck the circus to make her sell the ranch and now she's going to live on it.

George Ward:
No she's not.

Henchman Steve:
Well, what are you going to do?

George Ward:
We'll be in Mesquite ahead of the young lady with a reception committee.

Tucson Smith:
Well, we're nearly home, boys.

Stony Brooke:
The 3-M will look mighty good after that set-to in Santa Fe.

Lullaby Joslin:
Don't forget, we've been away for three months. Most likely, we'll have to dig it out from under the dust.

Tucson Smith:
That is, if the moths have left us anything to dig out.

[after Hercules played a card, Willie the Gorilla grabbed it and put it back in Hercules' hand]

Lillian:
Hey! What are you doin' gangin' up on me? One baboon at a time!

Hercules, the Midget:
Can't a guy change his mind, Lil?

Lillian:
Yeah, providin' he's got a mind to start with. Besides I ain't playin' cards with a man who has a moth-eaten monkey for partner.

[to the gorilla climbing in a tree]

Lillian:
Get out of there, you upholstered nitwit!

Tony:
Hey, gang, take a look at your new home!

Hercules, the Midget:
Ain't it somethin'!

Lillian:
Yeah, so quiet and peaceful. I wonder how long it takes to learn how to milk a chicken.

Lullaby Joslin:
C'mon, let's invite the ladies to scram.

Tucson Smith:
Let me do it. I'll, you know, sort of break it to her gently.

Stony Brooke:
Tactful Tucson, they call him - the big-hearted bouncer.

Lillian:
What's your job around here?

Stony Brooke:
I'm a cowhand, ma'am. I chase cows.

Lillian:
If I could only learn to moo.

[intent on a showdown with Mike Abbott, the Mesquiteers discover that he's not in his hotel room]

Tucson Smith:
Maybe we should go in and sort of tidy up the room.

Stony Brooke:
Funny, that's just what I was thinkin'.

[Hercules waives an enormous gun at the Mesquiteers]

Lillian:
Don't pull the trigger - you'll wind up in South Dakota!

Stony Brooke:
Give us a break, Desperate Desmond.

Tucson Smith:
Be careful, guys. Don't over eat.

Lullaby Joslin:
I had more trouble catchin' those sardines than I've had ropin' a calf.

Tucson Smith:
I wish you had roped a calf!

Stony Brooke:
We gotta figure out some way to help Nancy.

Lullaby Joslin:
If I was Nancy, I'd be just a little bit tired of our help.

Stony Brooke:
Well, we can't let her lose her ranch.

Tucson Smith:
What about ours? If we can't pay our own mortgage, we won't have any place to sleep.

Lullaby Joslin:
Oh, yes we will. We'll have a nice cozy cell to sleep in for the next twenty years, if Mr. Brooke keeps bein' helpful.

[last lines]

Tucson Smith:
Well, that Nancy sure is a swell girl. I reckon we oughta take in her circus sometime.

Stony Brooke:
Tucson, I think you've got something there.

[Lullaby bursts out of the ranch house pursued by Nancy's gorilla]

Lullaby Joslin:
Nancy! Nancy! You forgot somethin'!

Stony Brooke:
What happened to you? Did you fall into a watering trough?

Lullaby Joslin:
No, I just fell into a Saturday night!