Time Squad

[Orville Wright crashes a rocket powered airplane]

Orville Wright:
I'm all right!

[the wreck explodes]

Orville Wright:
OK, now I'm hurt. Yes, definitely hurt!

[repeated line]

Buck Tuddrussel:
It's go time!

Buck Tuddrussel:
Well, mission accomplished. It took some doing, but we talked Karl Marx out of building the world's largest igloo and back to writing the Communist Manifesto.

The Larry 3000:
Yes, once you kicked him in the belly.

Buck Tuddrussel:
Hey, if you're gonna make an omelet, you gotta break a few eggs.

Otto Osworth:
Hey, look! We're going to meet the Earl of Sandwich. He invented one of the most popular foods of all time.

Buck Tuddrussel:
The doughnut?

The Larry 3000:
[sarcastic] Yes, a man named Sandwich invented the doughnut.

Buck Tuddrussel:
Well, I hope he invented more than one, 'cause I'm starved.

[the Time Squad discovers a party going on at the Alamo]

Jeremiah Tuddrussel:
It's all part of our "Welcome to Texas, This state's big enough for the both of us" Mexican heritage fiesta!

Buck Tuddrussel:
"Big enough for the both of us?" You're supposed to be defending Texas against Mexico!

Jeremiah Tuddrussel:
Uh, hello? They outnumber us like ten to one! No, we're going to party, have a great time, we don't get our butts shot off, it's a win-win!

[a happy Larry starts dancing]

Otto Osworth:
The problem is, Texas WASN'T big enough for both! That's what the fight was about!

Buck Tuddrussel:
While you girls go get ready for have your pajama party, me and Otto's got some work to do! Don't worry, kid, I know someone who can straighten this whole mess out!

Otto Osworth:
Who, Jeremiah Tuddrussel?

Buck Tuddrussel:
That's right, kid!

Jeremiah Tuddrussel:
Well, look no further!

Buck Tuddrussel:
Excuse me?

Jeremiah Tuddrussel:
I'm Jeremiah Tuddrussel! Ta-da! [Tuddrussel sees his ancestor is catering the party, and faints]

Heckler:
Duh! hey, Beethoven! Play "Freebird"!

[Napoleon is about to execute the Time Squad]

Josephine Bonaparte:
Napoleon Francis Bonaparte, what do you think you are doing?

Josephine Bonaparte:
...And you promised back when we were dating that once you were ruler of France, your conquering days were over! But you haven't slowed down one bit! It's always "conquer zis" and "conquer zat"! Wel, now it's MY turn to discover who I am! I've already signed up for classes at the community college, so I'm going to need you at home from now on. [Napoleon tries to protest]

Josephine Bonaparte:
Forget it! That is final! [Napoleon agrees]

Buck Tuddrussel:
That guy is whipped! [Josephine glares at Tuddrussel, who screams and bolts]

[Josephine catches Napoleon at Waterloo]

Josephine Bonaparte:
Don't you "baby" ME! All I asked for was a little support! You couldn't help me one teeny-tiny little bit! I have had it with you, you little shrimp! [knocks down Napoleon]

Buck Tuddrussel:
Little buddy! That's it! You're going down, lady! [the Time Squad and the French army attack Josephine... who utterly decimates them]

Buck Tuddrussel:
Wow... Lady, I... I ain't had my butt kicked like that in years...

Josephine Bonaparte:
Really?... Oh, you're just saying zat. I'm no good at anything!

Otto Osworth:
No, seriously. You've got great talent. You could be a great conqueror, maybe even as good as Napoleon!

Josephine Bonaparte:
Oh, you mean it? [Napoleon serenades Josephine]

Josephine Bonaparte:
You want me to fight beside you? Oh, Nappy, I love you! [kisses her husband]

[Napoleon sneaks in after a night of conquering]

Josephine Bonaparte:
Do I smell gunpowder?

[arriving in London]

Otto Osworth:
Oh my gosh! Everybody's NAKED!

Buck Tuddrussel:
A 300-pound man skinny-dipping with a robot. That is just not right.

Otto Osworth:
I gotta wash my eyes!

Otto Osworth:
Guys, something weird is going on here...

Buck Tuddrussel:
Kid, travelling through history is always weird. Weird food, weird accents, stupid languages...

Winston Churchill:
We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields and the streets. We shall fight in the hills. And above all, we shall fight without clothes on!

Otto Osworth:
Uh... Interesting speech, Mr Churchill, sir.

Winston Churchill:
Thank you, lad. There's a war on - got to inspire the people, you know!

Otto Osworth:
Yeah, that's, uh, great. I can see how that would be, uh... how that might be, uh... WHERE THE HECK ARE YOUR PANTS?

Winston Churchill:
My boy, we are engaged in a battle for freedom: freedom to vote, freedom to think, freedom to wear whatever we want even if it's nothing at all!

Buck Tuddrussel:
What the heck are you doing, Larry?

Larry 3000:
Shedding the clothes I never had!

[Larry has converted to nudism]

Buck Tuddrussel:
For crying out loud, Larry, where's your sense of decency?

Winston Churchill:
[watching Larry's films] Who's the fellow with the gigantic butt?

Larry 3000:
Why, Winston, that's you!

Winston Churchill:
...What? That's ME? That's what I look like naked?

Larry 3000:
Well, the camera does add fifteen pounds...

Winston Churchill:
It's horrible! It's indecent! Put something on, gentlemen, you look positively obscene!

Otto Osworth:
You did it, Larry! You saved the mission!

Larry 3000:
I didn't want to save the mission... naked is beautiful!

Otto Osworth:
I think if we've learnt anything today, it's that naked is NOT beautiful!

Buck Tuddrussel:
You got that right! From now on, Larry, you're wearing pants! [holds out a pair]

Larry 3000:
I will NOT! Get away from me!

Buck Tuddrussel:
Put them on! PUT THEM ON!

Larry 3000:
Get away from me! [Yakety Sax scene starts]

Winston Churchill:
[swimming in the English Channel with Larry] Come and join us, lads, the water's perfect!

Otto Osworth:
Uh, we didn't bring our swimsuits...

Winston Churchill:
That's the point!