Topkapi

[first lines]

Elizabeth Lipp:
It can be done! That's the way it can be done! Aaah... oh, excuse me; I've just had a great idea - something I've been looking for a long time... a very long time.

[last lines]

Elizabeth Lipp:
There's a secret stairway in the Kremlin - the Romanov jewels...

Elizabeth Lipp:
And where do we find these lily-white innocents?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
It's not a question of losing my nerve; I never *had* nerve!

[Simpson is talking to the Turkish guards who have arrested him]

Arthur Simon Simpson:
You frighten me, sir. But, after all, that's part of your job. But if my father could hear you now he'd laugh himself sick. He wasn't no colonel, sir. I just said that in order to make myself seem important. He was a sergeant - acting sergeant - acting unpaid sergeant. And d'you know what he used to say to me? He used to say, "Arthur"... he used to call me Arthur... "Arthur, you're a carbuncle on the behind of humanity." Carbuncle! I'm a nothing! I'm a nobody!

Elizabeth Lipp:
Do you mind that I am a nymphomaniac?

Walter Harper:
It's your most endearing quality.

Elizabeth Lipp:
Don't waste it - use it.

Walter Harper:
Giulio's on the sill now. I'll help you lower him down.

Arthur Simon Simpson:
Can't he do anything by himself?

Elizabeth Lipp:
I'm beginning to wonder if anything is real.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
What made you suspect they are Russian spies?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
I deduced it, sir.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
From what?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
From the cook, sir.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
What did the cook say?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
That they were Russian spies.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
A clever deduction.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
What has Miss Lipp to say? Did you hear her talk to anyone?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
Yes, I heard her speak to Mr. Harper.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
What did she say?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
Personal things, you know, I don't think they'd be of any interest to you.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
*Everything* she says is of interest to me.

Arthur Simon Simpson:
Well, she said I was attractive to her.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
Fool! She knew you were listening!

Arthur Simon Simpson:
That's impossible.

Maj. Ali Tufan:
Then why would she say anything so stupid!

Arthur Simon Simpson:
Well, she did! She even went further. She said I had beautiful eye lashes!

Turkish Official:
[advising Major Tufan of Simpson's criminal record] In 1958 he was deported from Britain for smuggling pornographic literature.

Arthur Simon Simpson:
An art magazine, sir!

Turkish Official:
Called...?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
'Stop Press Nudes'!

Gerven the Cook:
You foreign, eh?

Arthur Simon Simpson:
No,I'm English.