Toy Story of Terror

[repeated line]

Combat Carl:
Combat Carl never gives up. Combat Carl finds a way.

Combat Carl:
Remember your training.

Jessie:
I don't have any training.

Mr. Pricklepants:
Only a kitty cat. Classic misdirection.

Trixie:
What's the matter with Jessie?

Mr. Potato Head:
She was abandoned in a box for years.

Mr. Pricklepants:
The roadside motel is one of the most common settings for a horror story. Remote, secluded, ordinary. A quiet place to alleviate the audience's expectations. I'll be expecting her to ask the inkeeper for the phone any minute now.

Bonnie's Mom:
Can we use your phone? Our car has a flat.

Mr. Pricklepants:
Right on cue.

Jessie:
Where are you going?

Mr. Potato Head:
I'm checking out the amenities. You know, the free stuff? Little soaps, shower caps, shampoo, conditioner.

Mr. Pricklepants:
I wouldn't do that if I were you. In horror movies the first to leave is usually the first to get it.

Woody:
Potato Head, don't leave the bag. A motel is one of the easiest places for a toy to get lost.

Mr. Potato Head:
Ah, shut your worry hole. Nobody's getting lost. Besides, I promissed Hamm I'd bring him something nice.

Jessie:
Where are you guys going?

Trixie:
We're gonna see the free stuff.

Mr. Pricklepants:
And if something does happen to the potato, I wouldn't want to miss it.

Buzz Lightyear:
Don't worry. We're all here. Woody, Prickle Pants, Trixie, Rex... Wait, where's Potato Head?

Mr. Pricklepants:
And so it begins.

[Thunder clap]

Woody:
Pricklepants, you're not helping!

Rex:
So what happens next?

Mr. Pricklepants:
Usually this is the point of the story where the characters are picked off one by one. [He is snatched by an unseen force]

Jessie:
Uh, where's Pricklepants?

Rex:
Aah! He was right here! What are we going to do? He was the only one who knew what the heck is going oooo... [Is snatched]

Combat Carl:
When Combat Carl is in a jam, he says to himself, "Combat Carl never gives up. Combat Carl finds a way." Now say it!

Jessie:
Combat Carl never gives up...

Combat Carl:
You're not Combat Carl!

Jessie:
Oh! Jessie never gives up! Jessie finds a way!

Transitron:
By Globatron's ghost, you shall be remembered!

Trixie:
It's been a while. I don't think she's coming back.

Mr. Pricklepants:
Patience. Cinematic structure dictates that it's always darkest...

Mr. Potato Head:
Can it, Pants! Life ain't a movie! They ain't never coming back!

Rex:
Look, they're coming back!

Jessie:
Uh, where's Potato Head?

Woody:
Oh, no.

Mr. Pricklepants:
Oh, it appears the monster has returned to claim one last victim.

Jessie:
No, he's not. He's right over there.

Mr. Potato Head:
[to his arm] Oh, I missed you, baby! We'll never be separated again. [the car hits a bump, Mr. Potato Head's parts all fall off] Aw, nuts. [All laugh]

Mr. Pricklepants:
Group laughter. A sure sign that the worst is behind us.

Rex:
So, it's the end?

Mr. Pricklepants:
Yes. I believe they'd be running the credits just about now. [Cut to end credits]

Buzz Lightyear:
[while watching the movie] Tactics, Betsy, tactics. Find something to defend yourself with. [Betsy grabs a vase] There you go.

Mr. Pricklepants:
Completely uselsess! Everyone knows a stake through the heart is the only way to defeat a vampire.

Mr. Pricklepants:
And now we've reached the threshold. Every horror story has one. Once the heroes cross it, there's no turning back.

Buzz Lightyear:
Rex, over here.

Rex:
Coming!

Woody:
All we need to do is find a way down. [Rex trips over the others and they fall down the grate] Well, that did the trick.

Rex:
Oops! Sorry!

[Jessie has just met Combat Carl]

Combat Carl:
Combat Carl's seen things. Horrible things. Combat Carl's learned you gotta keep movin'. Or else, they find you!

Jessie:
[confused] Are *you* Combat Carl?