Transformers: Robots in Disguise

[from trailer]

Strongarm:
We could be looking at a Decepticon army trying to take this planet! [Underbite transforms and charges]

Bumblebee:
Yeah, I noticed...

[from trailer]

Fixit:
Where's your squadron?

Bumblebee:
I'm afraid we're it.

Fixit:
Then I'm supposed to be the one with the faulty wiring... [freaks out]

[from trailer]

Bumblebee:
We're a team now, so let's do what we have to do!

[from trailer]

Bumblebee:
[sees Grimlock transform] I kind of wish I was a bigger bot...

Grimlock:
Cowboy Grimlock... I like the sound of that!

Terrashock:
No one puts Terrashock in a tiny box!

Terrashock:
Hey, are you the bot that Contrail sent me to wise up?

Sideswipe:
Probably not?

Terrashock:
Course you're gonna say that! What do you think I am, stupid?

Sideswipe:
Is that a trick question?

Terrashock:
[looks at an animatronic buffalo] What are you doing here? Did Contrail send you? He said I was his only enforcer. Ain't nobody stealing my job!

Strongarm:
No need to call the rest of the team for this genius...

Grimlock:
You know that feelin' when somethin' throws you through a mountain?

Strongarm:
No.

Bumblebee:
Yes.

Grimlock:
Well, it was like that, only painful... -er.

Vector Prime:
Micronus, the crisis is upon us, and we sense our chosen champion is not prepared.

Optimus Prime:
If innocents are threatened, preparation comes secondary to swift action, determination and will. Send me to Earth, please.

Megatronus:
At long last, Megatronus stands triumphant!

Drift:
[on Grimlock] Our oafish teammate's enthusiasm is as large as he is!

Bumblebee:
Dirft, Grim, let's roll to the rescue. Wait. No. Somebody is already using that battlecry. N-never mind. Let's just move out.

Fixit:
These are her cooperate- co-authoring- coordinates!

Fixit:
Oh, scrub- scram- scrat!

Megatronus:
You've earned your reward, Steeljaw. Though I can't imagine why you would want a pile of dust.

Steeljaw:
Dust?

Megatronus:
This staff will first extract what remains of the Anti-Spark from Unicron, lying dormant at the earth's core. Then I will summon the Allspark from Cybertron, and bring the two together!

Steeljaw:
But combining the Sparks will blow both planets to...

Megatronus:
Precisely.

Megatronus:
I waited years in exile, burned with desire for vengeance, and I will not be denied!

[from trailer]

Bumblebee:
I helped save the universe from Starscream, Megatron and Dark Energon - I refuse to become the laughing stock of some bug-eyed bot's gaming club!

[from trailer]

Bisk:
[transforms] YES! Three bodies of water crossed in twelve nano-cycles! This planet's no match for... huh?

[the Autobots appear]

[the Autobots watch an adult program, and are stunned by what they see]

Strongarm:
Why are they smashing their mouths together?

Jazz:
Is it time for my solo?

Grimlock:
Helloooo! Anybody up there? Dinobot in a hole!

[repeated line]

Filch:
Shiny!

Sideswipe:
Polly wants to crack me!

Grimlock:
Who needs punching?

[attaches wheels and a grill to look like a truck]

Grimlock:
I'm a truck! Vroom vroom honk honk! Heh heh! Right? Yeah? Aw, come on!

Fixit:
Pardon the interruption, but I'm confused. How would appearing on television induce stellar fusion?

Bumblebee:
C'mon, Earth is unpredictable! That's part of it's charm!

Drift:
I would not describe molten lava as charming.

Sideswipe:
It's quiet. Too quiet.

Drift:
A location cannot be too quiet. It is either quiet or it is not.

[after finding out Denny and Russell's vacation got rained out]

Sideswipe:
That's what they get for taking their vacation on Earth. Should've gone to Cybertron. They could have been speeding in the Sonic Canyons...

Strongarm:
Hiking the Manganese Mountains...

Grimlock:
Hanging out in the Acid Wastes...

[beat]

Sideswipe:
Why would you want to hang out in the Acid Wastes?

Grimlock:
Is that a trick question? The sunsets are amazing!

Bumblebee:
[into comms] Fixit, give us some fun facts about this amazing place you've sent us to.

Fixit:
Let's see. Uh, you're not far from the ghost town of Edmundville.

Bumblebee:
[ebullient] A ghost town? Cool!

Fixit:
Your location has the highest temperature in the area. The average rainfall is slightly less than zero. Oh, the variety of desert lizards where you are is spectable- spectacle- [hits self] spectacular! The region is home to over 200 different species, including the leopard lizard, the horned lizard, the spiny lizard, the gecko, the iguana, the skink...

[Swideswipe silent mocks Fixit's running of the mouth with his hand as Grimlock laughs]

Bumblebee:
Uh, thank's Fixit.

[Bumblebee closes comms]

[the Autobots hide in the ghost town of Edmundville as a bus of tourists arrive unexpectedly]

Tour Guide:
[reciting in a bored, flat tone, with unenthusiastic gestures] Here we are folks. Edmundville. One of the last true ghost towns of the formerly wild, wild West. Back in its heyday, this dusty old street was filled with cowpokes, gamblers, miners, and outlaws.

Grimlock:
[Grimlock peeks from behind a building and chuckles] Bee could do that human's job, no problem.

Tour Guide:
Yet today, Edmundville is complete empty...

[dramatic zoom]

Tour Guide:
[equally flat, but rehearsedly measured] Or is it.

[tourists dramatically turn around at this]

Tour Guide:
Many legends surround this old town. Take the old mine, for instance. Folks say you can still hear the clink of pickaxes and the laughter of old miners, looooong gooone. That old train hasn't run in more than a hundred years, yet sometimes at midnight its whistle can be heard for miles around.

[hinges creak, swinging doors thump at the saloon. The tourists murmur indistinctly]

Tour Guide:
[a little uneasily] Then there's the tale of...

[a ghostly wail, sounding like Sideswipe, rises from the cemetary where a gravestone simply marked "RIP" starts wobbling. The humans turn around and gasp, whimper, and cower three times in rapid succession and in unison. The sound of a train whistle blowing is heard. It's Strongarm imitating it, hiding behind the derelict train. The humans cower together as a group one direction. Wails from the cemetary sending them scuttling down the street. The star falls from the sheriff's station behind them and they exclaim in unison]

Tour Guide:
[genuinely frightened] Oh! Tour guide gets to safety first! That's the rule! Excuse me! Move it!

[bus's tires screech as it takes off rapidly. Bumblebee watches it depart from behind the sheriff's station's marquee and laughs]

Strongarm:
[to Jetstorm and Slipstream] If you're ever trapped in a locked vault again, just remember: you can always make your own backdoor.

Bumblebee:
[into comms] Fixit, are there any Decepticons that can make themselves invisible?

Strongarm:
This is a ghost town *and* a Decepticon town?

Fixit:
I'm sorry about all this, Lieutenant. I'm ending my career as a travel agent. I found one Decepticon matching your criteria, sir.

[12-second pause as the database animates searching for and pulling up the record, during which Fixit could, nay should, have been delivering his previous line]

Fixit:
He can do more than make himself disappear. His name is Pseudo. He was Cybertron's sneakiest shy- fly- [a clank is heard over comms] spy! Arrested for selling Cybertronian secrets to off-world enemies.

Bumblebee:
So he *does* have the power of invisibility.

Fixit:
No. He's a shifter. Pseudo can change his appearance and even his actual physical structure to blend in with any environment.

Bumblebee:
Thanks, Fixit.

Bumblebee:
[indicating his upper arm] Drift, would you...?

[Drift releases Jetstorm and Slipstream from his arms]

Bumblebee:
[to Grimlock, indicating the train Pseudo escaping] Can you get 'em there?

Grimlock:
Does a cat have whiskers that shoot lightnin'?

[last lines]

[groundbridge opens behind them]

Bumblebee:
Okay, team. Time to head for...

Sideswipe:
[looking away from the groundbridge] Whoa.

[they all turn to look at a spectactular desert sunset]

Grimlock:
Now that *is* better than the Acid Wastes.

Fixit:
[over comms] Hey, are you guys coming back or not? I want to hear about your trip. Hey, did you bring me any souvenir lizards samples? Hello?

Drift:
Your inexperienced law officer, juvenile delinquent, oafish Dinobot, damaged Mini-Con, and human pets are no match for an enemy as devious as Fracture.

Sideswipe:
HEY! Strongarm is not oafish!

Bumblebee:
I saved you, you saved me. I hereby release you from your life debt, with my deepest thanks.

Drift:
That is not how you conclude a life debt.

Fracture:
It can be this simple, Drift: I collect this bounty, you collect the next... perhaps.

Drift:
This is no longer about a bounty.

Fracture:
It's always about a bounty!

Fracture:
Airazor, Divebomb, bring 'im down!

Drift:
Jetstorm, Slipstream, go! [both bots launch their minions at Bumblebee]

Sideswipe:
[picks up Divebomb] How about you pick on someone NOT your own size?

Divebomb:
Too many big ones, master!

Airazor:
Divebomb is right, boss!

Fracture:
Tactical retreat is called for... [the three get away]

Russell Clay:
[on Drift] That bot's your sensei?

Slipstream:
Master Drift is a wonderful teacher. He took us from lives of petty thievery and granted us the honor of serving and learning from him.

Jetstorm:
I am a constant disappointment...

Slipstream:
Jetstorm, that is not true! Master Drift has high standards, and he does not give praise easily!... Sometimes, we wish he would show more confidence in us, so we can feel more like part of the team.

[from trailer]

Optimus Prime:
I need you on Earth, Bumblebee...

Bumblebee:
Optimus?

Grimlock:
[breaks out of his pod] I hear fighting! Who's fighting? I wanna fight!

Fixit:
[stuns Grimlock] Get back in your cell! Back!

Fixit:
Now, I've reconned the crash site and we're missing most of our stasis cells. Several nearby have ruptured, their inmates are presumably at large!

Strongarm:
How many is "several"?

Fixit:
Oh, a couple of hundred.

Russell Clay:
[looks around] It's kinda weird. Like living in a scrapyard!

Denny Clay:
Please, vintage salvage depot for the discriminating nostalgist.

Grimlock:
Hey, aren't you Underbite, the 'Con who ate that city?

Underbite:
Finally! What gave it away? The muscles?

Grimlock:
The smell!

Sideswipe:
[at the Cybertron Museum] PLEASE take me to jail. This place is so much worse!

Strongarm:
You're a punk, you know how to take out security systems don't you?

Sideswipe:
No! Maybe.

Underbite:
You ever been to Nuon City?

Sideswipe:
No!

Underbite:
That's cause I ATE IT!

Underbite:
[to the Autobots] Yeah, transformin' into a car will make a huge difference... Hello? I ATE A WHOLE CITY!

Strongarm:
We got here faster than the Skunkticons?

Malodor:
We are not built for speed, primitive one, but we are built for dismantling Autobots!

Bumblebee:
Okay, Autobots, let's hit the trail.

Sideswipe:
[aside to others] 'Cause Bee wants to bail.

Bumblebee:
Hey, I do the rallying cries.

Bumblebee:
Ugh. It's like herding domesticated Earth felines.

Strongarm:
[after Optimus relates a story] Amazing. Tell us another.

Sideswipe:
Ugh. Give it a rest, will ya, Strongarm? You bugging Pops for war stories is getting older than, well, Pops.

Bumblebee:
Sideswipe, you'd better watch your...

Optimus Prime:
Young Bot, you may call me Optimus Prime or Optimus. Those are your only options. Understood?

Sideswipe:
[cowed] Yes, sir.

Fixit:
My theory is that something in the Prime's reversal process altered your basic chemistry, Optimus. When you went through the portal, you affected the Ground Bridge the same way a magnet damages a hard side- card five- hard drive.

Fixit:
We have another concern: Ransack and Backtrack are moose- goose- loose!

Fracture:
How do we know he won't turn on us the first time things get... tricky?

Steeljaw:
Clampdown realizes that after all we've done for him, if he sided against us, I wouldn't rest until I've made him eat his own claws.

Grimlock:
[about Clampdown] Who moves like that? It's just weird!

Bumblebee:
Ok, Autobots. Let's wreck and roll! [pause]

Bumblebee:
You see, "wreck" because Scowl wrecks, and then I was like "roll" because... that's what we do.

Sideswipe:
And "lame" because that was lame.

Grimlock:
What if I take him under my claw? I could be what you were for me! You know, a minotaur?

Bumblebee:
Mentor! And I don't think that's a good idea, Grimlock. Based on his rap sheet, Scowl seems unlikely to change his ways any time soon.

Sideswipe:
His name is Scowl. I mean, it's totally a bad guy name.

[from trailer]

Bumblebee:
If we're going to wrap these fugitives up, we'll need something humans will accept... we need to be Robots in Disguise!

[from trailer]

Strongarm:
[scans a truck] You have law enforcement written all over you!

[from trailer]

Strongarm:
You can't let some criminal ride with you!

Grimlock:
I'm not a criminal!... At least I don't think I am.

Fixit:
I'm no fighter either, I'm a lover. Let's see if ol' Fixit can find something to help out with these fugitives. Maybe some weapons... gear... I can tell we're going to be great friends, Sideswipe. Hey, do you have a nickname? No no, wait, let me guess. Scooter? Rumblejack? Bill? Mine is M.C. It's actually a loooong story... Sideswipe? Hello?

Strongarm:
Ready for your backup plan, sir!

Bumblebee:
I don't have one! Get out of here!

Grimlock:
Why don't we just start punchin' and see how it turns out?

Grimlock:
We got a dance to finish skrud!

Underbite:
You're from the prison ship too. I'm not gonna eat the whole planet, just the crunchy parts. So why're you botherin' me?

Grimlock:
I like to pick on things my own size. And just because we rode here together, doesn't make us travel buds!

Bumblebee:
Fixit, you are my favorite Mini-Con! [the Capture device breaks]

Bumblebee:
Fixit, I'm rethinking my rankings!

Optimus Prime:
Together you will confront many challenges. The forces facing Earth are immense and formidable, but I am certain you will accomplish great things. As you did today.

Bumblebee:
But we needed your help, Optimus. We always will.

Optimus Prime:
You are ready to lead, Bumblebee. Do not doubt yourself.

Bumblebee:
I... WE won't let you down Optimus. And if I say it enough, maybe I'll actually believe it.

Grimlock:
YEAH! I'm on probaaaation! Yes on probaaation!

[from trailer]

Strongarm:
Teach me, like Optimus taught you!

Bumblebee:
I'm NOT OPTIMUS!

Sideswipe:
That's too bad, because we could really use a Prime right about now...