Vampire Idol

Prince:
[staring at Su-mi] This has already passed it's expiration date. YOU guys eat it.

Woo-bin:
[laughing, having discovered a vampire movie on television] It looks like Earthlings have a lot of imagination.

Prince:
Ah, so if a vampire bites a human, the human becomes a vampire?

Soo-hyuk:
So if a mosquito bites you, you become a mosquito?

[All laugh again]

Prince:
Now, think of this chicken as me. If you bite the chicken, you are biting me.

Prince:
What's with that face? Already feeling lonely now that you and Aegi are separated?

Dong-yub:
[grinning broadly] I'm feeling lonely - so lonely I could fly right up to the sky! Finally, freedom for me!

Prince:
Gabri, first you were cheated by the scam lady, then you are seeing the girl who wears the huge rabbit head. Now you are going after an ugly girl who can't speak?

Woo-bin:
Baba, you've seen Yoo-bi's face? Is she ugly?

Prince:
It's obvious that she covers her face because she's ugly.

Min-kyung:
No wonder you didn't look normal. You're a singer!

Prince:
[looking into the Earth practice of kissing] Why do they like such an unhygienic thing?

Jong-hyeon:
In a human's saliva there are one billion bacteria per every milligram, and per every second of kissing they say two billion bacteria are transmitted.

Prince:
Ugh...

Jong-hyeon:
In our highly developed Vampyrutus, skinship is an unacceptable thing; however, they say that by kissing, immunity grows and a magic that makes love deepen occurs.

Prince:
Really?

Soo-hyuk:
Don't do it, Prince. It is dangerous.

Prince:
But they say Earth girls like it. Since I am on Earth, I will try everything. Come here.

Soo-hyuk:
Yes? Why?

Prince:
I need to practice kissing.

Soo-hyuk:
With me?

Prince:
[seeing booze for the first time] Do you really feel better after drinking this?

Min-kyung:
Yes, I told you, but... is it really your first time seeing Soju?

Prince:
First in my whole life.

Min-kyung:
Oh... Mr. Vampari, are you an alien? Which star did you come from?

Kwang-rok:
Are all of Korea's thieves your shadow? Why MUST they look for you?

Su-mi:
For this Christmas I had prepared something special just for the two of us.

Dong-yub:
Just... just the two of us?

Su-mi:
[presenting leopard-print-lingerie] Ta-da! Let's play Tarzan and Jane.

Dong-yub:
[in thought] Jane? You look more like a cheetah.

Dong-yub:
Who says I don't know Santa Claus? I AM Santa Claus!

Jong-hyeon:
That's not right, Santa. Santa. You did not wash your hands after you peed. The kids will get ill because of you.

Dong-yub:
Santa Claus is also a vampire.

Jong-hyeon:
Exercising three times a week is good for building muscles and blood circulation. More importantly...

Prince:
Importantly?

Jong-hyeon:
Girls on Earth like men who excel in sports.

Prince:
Really? Then let's make their hearts beat faster.

Soo-hyuk:
I am sorry. Please kill me.

[Prince slips, falls down a flight of stairs, and winds up with his head under Woo-hee's skirt]

Woo-hee:
[screams] You jerk, you saw everything!

Prince:
It's a mistake! I didn't see anything! I swear!

Kwang-hee:
I believe he didn't see anything - but I saw. There isn't anything to see.

Soo-hyuk:
Prince, I can no longer protect you. It was my dream to be your best warrior when you became Bababa. Now it seems like that day will not come.

Dong-yub:
In a while, there will be a diamond flying over from space at the speed of light

Jong-hyeon:
No matter what, you can not suck the blood of people on Earth. There's serious pollution and a lot of chemicals absorbed. They've become a harmful form of food to us.

Woo-bin:
As a precaution, I've brought along a lot of juice. I've also brought a lot of Baba's favorite banana flavor.

Su-mi:
Omo, look at this. Such a huge rock. It's so shiny.

Dong-soo:
This is at least two carats.

Su-mi:
I wonder how much it does cost.

Dong-soo:
3000

[Su-mi gasps]

Dong-soo:
Wear this to your alumni gathering and tell your friends to kneel down in front of you.

Su-mi:
With this ring I can now go to meet my friends and throw them a big fart.

Su-mi:
I'm sorry about what just happened. It was too sudden. I didn't even know what to do.

Prince:
Forget it. You are still young. I can understand. Don't people always say 60-year-olds are the most annoying?

Soo-hyuk:
Aegi, you... If you still behave like this when you are seventy, I won't let you off so easily.

Su-mi:
I am going to be in deep trouble if I don't get the diamond back, so when you go to the toilet, please look at your poop properly.

Jong-hyeon:
Unbelievable. That disgusting stuff coming out from my body. I'm not going to eat any food on this planet ever again.

Prince:
[mistaking a pregnant woman for another overfed person unable to defecate] How long have you...

Pregnant Woman:
Already eight months.

Prince:
Eight months?